I give you a name
I call you my mom
You expect me to reach out
You expect me to call
The title I give you
Is one you didn’t earn
You didn’t give birth to me
You were not the first
I’m so angry at you
I’m not your mini-me
I’m not the child you wanted
But I pretend to be
My heart rages against you
Like a hurricane against the trees
You blow past my boundaries
Cutting me to my knees
You forsake me and
Oh how your words sting
No, you’re not my mother
You’re the woman who raised me
We play this game
My move, then yours
Ping pong our relationship
Back and forth, back and forth
Strangers, you and I
Acquaintances at best
But you believe we’re closer
Every conversation like a test
So we dance very carefully
Around elephants in the room
Afraid to touch them
Afraid they’ll move
I get anxious and nervous
Every time we meet
The mask I wear around you
Makes me feel six foot deep
You say “I love you”
But I’m not sure you do
When asked what you love about me
You responded “Well, I know I love you.”
I drown in your expectations
You criticize my every move
You say, “Care about your family.”
Like it’s something I have to prove
You don’t know who I am now
And it’s like we are estranged
Because the more we talk about nothing
The more I see how much I’ve changed
I no longer call you my mom
Because you don’t act like it anymore
The name I give you is your first name
The one you were given when you were born
By Anonymous