Category: Grief and Loss

Cut Chilli Melbourne Community Event

On By lynellelongIn Adoptee Intimate Relationships, Adoptee vulnerability, adoption conversations, Adoption Conversations, Adoption questions, adoptive family dialogue, Adoptive parents, Australia, Birth Parents Searching, colourblindness in adoption, Complexities in Adoption, Difficult discussions in adoption, Exploring adoptive parent journey, Generational trauma, Gratitude in Adoption, Grief and Loss, Grief and Loss for adoptive parents, Impacts to Biological Families, Importance of Connections to Origins, Intercultural struggles, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Not Knowing in Adoption, Origins Search, Racial Mirrors, Racism in Adoption, Sense of Belonging, Sri Lanka, Transracial AdoptionLeave a comment

ICAV’s Cut Chilli Melbourne event brought adoptees together through theatre, food and a panel exploring identity, family, belonging and lived experience.

Child of their Time, Film Review

On By lynellelongIn Adoptee Anger, adoptee emotional burden, Adoptee vulnerability, adoption and silence, adoption conversations, Adoption Education for Adoptive Parents, Adoption Education for Professionals, Adoption questions, adoptive family dialogue, adoptive parent defensiveness, adoptive parent reflection, adoptive parent responsibility, Adoptive parents silence on illegal adoptions, Aloneness, Isolation, Complexities in Adoption, Difficult discussions in adoption, Finding biological mother, first family separation, Forced separation, Gratitude in Adoption, Grief and Loss, Importance of Connections to Origins, Indonesia, Intercultural struggles, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Motherloss, Not Knowing in Adoption, Origins Search, Politics of Adoption, Racial Mirrors, Racism in Adoption, Return to Birth Country, Return to Birth Country, right to identity, Search and Reunion in Adoption, Sense of Belonging, Survival mechanisms, The Netherlands, Therapy, Transracial Adoption, Trauma in AdoptionLeave a comment

Lynelle reviews Child of their Time, a documentary exploring estrangement, male adoptee voices, adoptive fathers, family pain, apology and the need for support.

Adoptee Fear of Being Alone

On By Guest BloggerIn Abandonment and Rejection, adoptee emotional burden, adoptee in prison, Adoptee Support, Adoptee vulnerability, adoption conversations, Adoption questions, Aloneness, Isolation, Australia, Complexities in Adoption, Difficult discussions in adoption, first family separation, Gratitude in Adoption, Grief and Loss, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Not Knowing in Adoption, Peer support, Post Adoption Support, Sense of Belonging, Sri Lanka, Therapy, Transracial Adoption, Trauma in AdoptionLeave a comment

A Sri Lankan adoptee Jonti reflects on abandonment trauma, the fear of losing family, and healing through therapy, peer support and community connection.

Beyond Adoption: Human Rights, Family Separation and Accountability

On By lynellelongIn 1993 Hague Convention, Adoptee Activism, Adoptee vulnerability, adoption accountability, adoption and power imbalance, adoption and silence, adoption conversations, Adoption policy, Adoption questions, adoption reform, adoptive parent defensiveness, adoptive parent reflection, adoptive parent responsibility, Adoptive parents silence on illegal adoptions, Advocacy, Alternatives to Adoption, China, Citizenship in Adoption, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, Difficult discussions in adoption, Family Preservation, Finding biological mother, first family separation, Forced separation, Generational trauma, Gratitude in Adoption, Grief and Loss, human rights abuses in adoption, identity restoration, Illegal Adoption, Illicit Adoption, Impacts to Biological Families, Importance of Connections to Origins, intercountry adoption investigation, Is adoption the best option, legal identity erasure, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Not Knowing in Adoption, Origins Search, Politics of Adoption, Reparation in Adoption, reparative justice in adoption, Return to Birth Country, right to identity, Rights in Adoption, State responsibilities in adoption, Trauma in Adoption, Truth and Reconciliation Commission TRC, UN Joint Statement Illegal AdoptionLeave a comment

Lynelle calls for a new child and family rights system that preserves identity, family, culture, truth, belonging and accountability for all families.

Adoptee Suicidality and Living with the Exit Sign

On By Guest BloggerIn Abandonment and Rejection, Abuse in Adoption, Adjustment and Transition, Adoptee Anger, adoptee emotional burden, adoptee in prison, Adoptee Support, Adoptee vulnerability, adoption accountability, adoption and power imbalance, adoption and silence, Adoption Attachment, Adoption Conversations, adoption conversations, adoption estrangement, Adoption questions, adoptive family dialogue, Adoptive parents, Alcohol and drug addiction, colourblindness in adoption, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, denial gaslighting minimisation by others, Difficult discussions in adoption, Finding biological mother, Generational trauma, Gratitude in Adoption, Grief and Loss, Importance of Connections to Origins, Intercultural struggles, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Multiple Identities, Not Knowing in Adoption, Origins Search, Peer support, Peer Support, Post Adoption Support, Racial Mirrors, Racism in Adoption, Return to Birth Country, right to identity, Rights in Adoption, Search and Reunion in Adoption, Sense of Belonging, Suicide, Survival mechanisms, Therapy, Transracial Adoption, Trauma in AdoptionLeave a comment

A personal reflection on adoptee suicidality, identity, abandonment and hope, exploring how adoption can shape mental health while choosing, each day, to stay.

Conversations Across Adoption – Part 6

On By lynellelongIn Adoptee Anger, adoptee emotional burden, Adoptee vulnerability, Adoptees Educate, adoption accountability, adoption and power imbalance, adoption and silence, Adoption Attachment, adoption conversations, Adoption Education for Professionals, adoption estrangement, Adoption policy, Adoption questions, adoption reform, adoptive family dialogue, adoptive parent defensiveness, adoptive parent reflection, adoptive parent responsibility, Advocacy, Alternatives to Adoption, Birth family trauma, Birth Parents Searching, Compensation to Victims in Adoption, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, Difficult discussions in adoption, Family Preservation, Finding biological mother, First family responsibility, first family separation, Generational trauma, Gratitude in Adoption, Grief and Loss, human rights abuses in adoption, identity restoration, Illegal Adoption, Impacts to Biological Families, Importance of Connections to Origins, Justice Routes, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Lived experience leadership, Motherloss, Not Knowing in Adoption, Origins Search, Peer Support, Politics of Adoption, Post Adoption Support, reparative justice in adoption, Return to Birth Country, Return to Birth Country, right to identity, Rights in Adoption, Search and Reunion in Adoption, Sense of Belonging, State responsibilities in adoption, Therapy, Transracial Adoption, Trauma in Adoption, Truth and Reconciliation Commission TRCLeave a comment

Adoptee Lynelle and adoptive parent Kristin reflect on truth, accountability, grief, and whether honesty can create deeper connection within adoption.

Conversations Across Adoption – Part 5

On By lynellelongIn Adoptee Anger, adoptee emotional burden, Adoptee Support, Adoptee vulnerability, Adoptees Educate, adoption accountability, adoption conversations, Adoption questions, adoption reform, adoptive family dialogue, adoptive parent reflection, adoptive parent responsibility, Adoptive parents, Alternatives to Adoption, Birth mother choices, Birth Parents Searching, Compensation to Victims in Adoption, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, Difficult discussions in adoption, Exploring adoptive parent journey, Finding biological mother, First family responsibility, first family separation, Forced separation, Generational trauma, Gratitude in Adoption, Grief and Loss, human rights abuses in adoption, identity restoration, Impacts to Biological Families, Importance of Connections to Origins, legal identity erasure, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Multiple Identities, Origins Search, Politics of Adoption, Post Adoption Costs, Post Adoption Support, Reparation in Adoption, Return to Birth Country, Return to Birth Country, reunion trauma, right to identity, Rights in Adoption, Search and Reunion in Adoption, Sense of Belonging, State responsibilities in adoption, Transracial Adoption, Trauma in AdoptionLeave a comment

Adoptee Lynelle and adoptive parent Kristin reflect on reunion, first families, identity, grief, and the responsibilities created through adoption.

Conversations Across Adoption – Part 4

On By lynellelongIn Adoptee Anger, adoptee emotional burden, Adoptee vulnerability, Adoptees Educate, adoption and silence, adoption conversations, Adoption Conversations, Adoption questions, adoption reform, adoptive family dialogue, adoptive parent reflection, Adoptive parents, Citizenship in Adoption, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, Difficult discussions in adoption, DNA Searching, Finding biological mother, Generational trauma, Grief and Loss, identity restoration, Illegal Adoption, Illicit Adoption, Impacts to Biological Families, Importance of Connections to Origins, intercountry adoption investigation, Is adoption the best option, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Multiple Identities, Not ready for Reunion, Origins Search, Politics of Adoption, Reparation in Adoption, Return to Birth Country, right to identity, Rights in Adoption, Search and Reunion in Adoption, Sense of Belonging, South Korea, State responsibilities in adoption, Transracial Adoption, Trauma in AdoptionLeave a comment

Adoptee Lynelle and adoptive parent Kristin explore power, identity, records access, citizenship, reunion, and the lifelong impacts of adoption.

Conversations Across Adoption – Part 3

On By lynellelongIn Adjustment and Transition, adoptee emotional burden, Adoptee Support, Adoptee vulnerability, Adoptees Educate, adoption accountability, adoption and power imbalance, adoption and silence, Adoption Conversations, adoption conversations, Adoption Education for Adoptive Parents, Adoption Education for Professionals, adoption estrangement, Adoption questions, adoptive family dialogue, adoptive parent defensiveness, adoptive parent reflection, Adoptive parents, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, Difficult discussions in adoption, Exploring adoptive parent journey, Gratitude in Adoption, Grief and Loss, human rights abuses in adoption, Impacts to Biological Families, Importance of Connections to Origins, Is adoption the best option, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Multiple Identities, Not Knowing in Adoption, Origins Search, Politics of Adoption, Post Adoption Support, Racism in Adoption, Return to Birth Country, right to identity, Search and Reunion in Adoption, Sense of Belonging, South Korea, State responsibilities in adoption, Survival mechanisms, Transracial AdoptionLeave a comment

Adoptee Lynelle and adoptive parent Kristin explore silence, emotional protection, loyalty, and why difficult adoption conversations often break down.

Conversations Across Adoption – Part 2

On By lynellelongIn Adoptee vulnerability, Adoptees Educate, adoption accountability, adoption and power imbalance, Adoption Education for Professionals, Adoption questions, adoption reform, adoptive family dialogue, adoptive parent reflection, Adoptive parents silence on illegal adoptions, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, Difficult discussions in adoption, Exploring adoptive parent journey, Grief and Loss, Illegal Adoption, Impacts to Biological Families, Importance of Connections to Origins, Is adoption the best option, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Politics of Adoption, Post Adoption Support, Rights in Adoption, South Korea, Trauma in AdoptionLeave a comment

Intercountry adoptee Lynelle and adoptive parent Kristin reflect on grief, silence, accountability, and honesty in adoption during a time of global reckoning.

When search doesn’t lead to reunion: A Bulgarian adoptee’s reality

On By Guest BloggerIn Adoptee Names, Adoptee vulnerability, Adoption Attachment, Adoption questions, Bulgaria, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, Difficult discussions in adoption, DNA Searching, Finding biological mother, Forced separation, Grief and Loss, Importance of Connections to Origins, legal identity erasure, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Multiple Identities, Not Knowing in Adoption, Origins Search, Post Adoption Support, Search and Reunion in Adoption, Searching but no reunion in adoption, Sense of Belonging, Trauma in Adoption, USA1 Comment

Nicole, adopted from Bulgaria, shares the painful reality of searching for origins, identity, and family—while learning to live without answers.

Understanding the Grief Adoptees Carry

On By lynellelongIn Adoptee vulnerability, Australia, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, Difficult discussions in adoption, Forced separation, Generational trauma, Gratitude in Adoption, Grief and Loss, Importance of Connections to Origins, Intercultural struggles, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Multiple Identities, Not Knowing in Adoption, Origins Search, Racial Mirrors, Racism in Adoption, Search and Reunion in Adoption, Sense of Belonging, Survival mechanisms, Transracial Adoption, Trauma in Adoption, VietnamLeave a comment

Intercountry adoptees often carry deep grief from separation, identity loss, and culture. Understanding begins with witnessing.

When Adoption Erases Sisters

On By Guest BloggerIn Adoptee Activism, Adoptee vulnerability, Adoption Attachment, adoption reform, Advocacy, Compensation to Victims in Adoption, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, Family Preservation, Forced separation, Grief and Loss, human rights abuses in adoption, identity restoration, Illicit Adoption, Impacts to Biological Families, Importance of Connections to Origins, intercountry adoption investigation, Is adoption the best option, Legal Action taken by Adoptees, legal identity erasure, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Not Knowing in Adoption, Origins Search, Politics of Adoption, Reparation in Adoption, reparative justice in adoption, Rights in Adoption, Search and Reunion in Adoption, Sri Lanka, State responsibilities in adoption, Suicide, The Netherlands, Transracial Adoption, Trauma in AdoptionLeave a comment

A Sri Lankan adoptee, Sita, in the Netherlands shares why restoring identity and family ties must follow the ending of international adoption.

Agent Orange, Adoption, and the Long Reach of War

On By Guest BloggerIn Adoptee vulnerability, Adoptees Educate, Adoption Attachment, Adoption questions, Advocacy, Birth family trauma, Birth mother choices, Birth Parents Searching, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, Finding biological mother, Forced separation, Generational trauma, Grief and Loss, Impacts to Biological Families, Importance of Connections to Origins, Is adoption the best option, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Motherloss, Not Knowing in Adoption, Origins Search, Politics of Adoption, Return to Birth Country, Sense of Belonging, Survival mechanisms, Sweden, Transracial Adoption, Trauma in Adoption, VietnamLeave a comment

Vietnam adoptee Vinh shares his search for family, the impact of Agent Orange, reunion with his mother, and a call to heal trauma and end violence.

Finding My Bangladeshi Mother

On By Guest BloggerIn Adoption questions, Bangladesh, Complexities in Adoption, Difficult discussions in adoption, DNA Searching, Finding biological mother, Grief and Loss, Importance of Connections to Origins, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Multiple Identities, Return to Birth Country, Rights in Adoption, Sense of Belonging, Sweden, Trauma in AdoptionLeave a comment

Sofia shares her journey from Bangladesh to Sweden and the profound moment DNA testing confirmed her biological mother is alive.

Crying out your name

On By Guest BloggerIn Adoptee Artists, Adoptee vulnerability, Birth Parents Searching, Canada, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, Grief and Loss, Haiti, Impacts to Biological Families, Importance of Connections to Origins, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Origins Search, Search and Reunion in Adoption, Sense of Belonging, Transracial Adoption, Trauma in Adoption, UncategorizedLeave a comment

A poignant song by Haitian adoptee, Sabine, in Quebec exploring separation, identity, two families, and enduring love between mother and child across distance.

From Silence to Self: An Adoptee’s Song

On By Guest BloggerIn Adoptee Anger, Adoptee Artwork, Adoptee vulnerability, Adoption questions, Adoptive parents, Belgium, Complexities in Adoption, Grief and Loss, Grief and Loss for adoptive parents, Importance of Connections to Origins, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Motherloss, Multiple Identities, Not Knowing in Adoption, Origins Search, Search and Reunion in Adoption, Survival mechanisms, Transracial Adoption, Trauma in Adoption, VietnamLeave a comment

Cao shares a song written across decades, exploring search, grief, identity, and healing after loss, silence, and self-acceptance.

 Adoptions from Colombia in the Context of Armed Conflict, Forced Displacement, and Human Trafficking under the Palermo Protocol

On By Guest BloggerIn Adoptee Activism, Adoptee Support, Adoption questions, Adoption Research, Colombia, Compensation to Victims in Adoption, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, Difficult discussions in adoption, Grief and Loss, Illegal Adoption, Illicit Adoption, Impacts to Biological Families, Importance of Connections to Origins, intercountry adoption investigation, Is adoption the best option, Justice Routes, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Origins Search, Politics of Adoption, Reparation in Adoption, Rights in Adoption, Spain, Transracial Adoption, Trauma in Adoption, UN Joint Statement Illegal Adoption, What is an Illegal and Illicit Adoption?Leave a comment

Legal report by Andrea exposes Colombia's forced adoptions (1985–2001), urging victim recognition, reparations, and reforms to prevent future rights violations.

Abandoned: its meaning and context

On By Guest BloggerIn Abandonment and Rejection, Adoptee Anger, Adoptee Names, Adoptee Search Service Orgs, Adoptee Support, Adoptee vulnerability, Adoption Agencies, Adoption Education for Adoptive Parents, Adoption questions, Birth family trauma, Birth mother choices, Birth Parents Searching, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, Difficult discussions in adoption, DNA Searching, Ethiopia, Exploring adoptive parent journey, Forced separation, Generational trauma, Grief and Loss, Impacts to Biological Families, Importance of Connections to Origins, Is adoption the best option, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Multiple Identities, Not Knowing in Adoption, Origins Search, Politics of Adoption, Post Adoption Support, Return to Birth Country, Search and Reunion in Adoption, Sense of Belonging, Survival mechanisms, Transracial Adoption, USALeave a comment

Andrea Kay helps us uncover the truth beyond the label 'abandoned' with DNA searching—bringing hope and rediscovery to Ethiopian adoptees and their families.

Grief, Loss and Finding My Way Back

On By Guest BloggerIn Adjustment and Transition, Adoptee Support, Adoptee vulnerability, Australia, Birth family trauma, Complexities in Adoption, Difficult discussions in adoption, Ethiopia, Grief and Loss, Importance of Connections to Origins, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Older Age Adoptions, Origins Search, Peer support, Return to Birth Country, Transracial Adoption, Trauma in AdoptionLeave a comment

Meseret shares about the lifelong grief and loss associated with losing her Ethiopian family and being sent to Australia to start a new life.

Book Review: Somewhere Sisters & Daughters of the Bamboo Grove

On By lynellelongIn Adoptee vulnerability, Adoption Agencies, Adoption Book, Adoption Education for Adoptive Parents, Adoption Education for Professionals, adoption reform, Adoptive parents silence on illegal adoptions, Alternatives to Adoption, Birth family trauma, Birth mother choices, Birth Parents Searching, Birth parents speak out, China, China, Compensation to Victims in Adoption, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, Difficult discussions in adoption, Family Preservation, Forced separation, Generational trauma, Gratitude in Adoption, Grief and Loss, Illegal Adoption, Illicit Adoption, Impacts to Biological Families, Importance of Connections to Origins, Is adoption the best option, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Multiple Identities, Not Knowing in Adoption, Origins Search, Politics of Adoption, Religion and Adoption, Rights in Adoption, Search and Reunion in Adoption, Sense of Belonging, Trauma in Adoption, Twins in adoption, USA, VietnamLeave a comment

Lynelle reviews Somewhere Sisters and Daughters of the Bamboo Grove, exploring identity, nature vs. nurture, and the truths of twins separated by intercountry adoption.

Self Reflections

On By Guest BloggerIn Abandonment and Rejection, Adoptee Anger, Adoptee Artists, Adoptee vulnerability, Art therapy, colourblindness in adoption, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, denial gaslighting minimisation by others, Difficult discussions in adoption, Forced separation, Generational trauma, Gratitude in Adoption, Grief and Loss, Importance of Connections to Origins, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Multiple Identities, Not Knowing in Adoption, Poetry by Adoptees, Racial Mirrors, Russia, Search and Reunion in Adoption, Sense of Belonging, Transracial Adoption, Trauma in Adoption, USALeave a comment

Hannah reflects as a Russian Asian intercountry adoptee on identity, belonging, loss, and the emotional complexities of adoption.

Finding Myself and a Purpose

On By Guest BloggerIn Abandonment and Rejection, Abuse in Adoption, Adjustment and Transition, Adoptee Anger, adoptee in prison, Adoptee vulnerability, Adoptees Educate, Alcohol and drug addiction, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, Difficult discussions in adoption, Generational trauma, Grief and Loss, Hong Kong, Importance of Connections to Origins, incarcerated adoptee, Is adoption the best option, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, New Zealand, Not Knowing in Adoption, Older Age Adoptions, Post Adoption Support, Racial Mirrors, Religion and Adoption, Sense of Belonging, Suicide, Survival mechanisms, Transracial Adoption, Trauma in AdoptionLeave a comment

Mike grew up in New Zealand, adopted from Hong Kong. He struggled as a young child, found his place in the world, and now gives back, to others like him.

What happens after an adoption investigation?

On By Guest BloggerIn Abandonment and Rejection, Adoptee Anger, Adoptee Artists, Adoptee Artwork, Adoptee vulnerability, Adoption Book, adoption reform, Complexities in Adoption, Critical Thinking in Adoption, denial gaslighting minimisation by others, Difficult discussions in adoption, Grief and Loss, Illegal Adoption, Illicit Adoption, Impacts to Biological Families, intercountry adoption investigation, Korea, Lifelong Impacts of Adoption, Origins Search, Politics of Adoption, Reparation in Adoption, South Korea, Suicide, Survival mechanisms, Sweden, Therapy, Transracial Adoption, Trauma in Adoption, Truth and Reconciliation Commission TRC, What is an Illegal and Illicit Adoption?Leave a comment

Lisa shares about the challenges and realities adoptees face after national adoption inquiries and public debates becoming toxic.