by Mai Linh, born in Vietnam and adopted to Belgium.
New motherhood is a journey of love, learning, and connection.
As an adoptee, I understand how important it is to establish foundations and connection early in life. Being close, feeling the biological connection and seeing recognition in someone who resembles me, touches something inside of me that I missed. How painful it must have been for baby me, if my story is true, to have been left in the street?
The loss of my biological family, my first caregivers and my birth country is a hidden wound that runs deep within me.
Now that I am a mother myself, I feel even stronger how much a baby needs love, closeness and safety, day and night. Comfort when cramps happen, breast milk when hungry, and hugs for warmth and security. The way my son lights up his face when he sees me and feels my presence makes clear how essential this is.
Although I found love and warmth in Belgium and cherish it, the loss of my origins remains a part of me. Now, as a mother, the biological connection that I never knew is gaining meaning through my son. It touches the loss I’ve always felt, but it also gives me the strength to turn that into love and presence for him.
I intensely enjoy his laughs, his little hands reaching for me, and the simple being together. Pride and gratitude fill my heart every time I look at my precious son.
Resources
Parenting as Adoptees (book)