Little Question

by Pradeep adopted from Sri Lanka to Belgium, Founder of Empreintes Vivantes.

Have you already made an appointment with yourself?

I remember having to forge myself, like many adoptees! Forge my own personality without any stable benchmarks and this mainly due to the absence of biological parents. Indeed, children who live with their biological parents do not realise that their choices, their tastes, their decisions etc., are often (not always) unconsciously oriented, guided, inspired by the bases provided by their biological parents. Example: I won’t be a mechanic like daddy, but I know what I could have possibly done so because daddy did it. Mom is in the social business so I may have a predisposition for this area. Then there are the children who go directly to the same jobs as their biological parents because it seems to them to be a form of safe bet.

In short, what I mean is that I was dumped for a long time, like many of my fellow adoptees, I think. Not all but a lot. And I asked myself a lot of questions. So it is true that this also happens to children / teenagers who live with their organic parents, but in a different way. The basis of the questioning is in my opinion divergent. This is why I also remember having made an appointment with myself. I really took several evenings. Several moments to find myself within me. And ask me simple, banal questions which were of monumental importance to me.

Who are you Prad? What do you like? What is your favourite color? Not the one that will make your answer interesting or make you better. The colour you like. Black. No, come to think of it, I like blue. The same goes for music. What’s your dress style? What is best for you? What are you good at? You seem cold, sometimes distant. Are you really or is it a shell? Is there one area that attracts you more than another? All these questions that we have already been asked in other circumstances, I have asked myself. You love sport? Yes, but I’m not a football fan unlike all my friends. Don’t be afraid to say it, to assume it. For that and for everything else. Be yourself. Think of you. Only to you. Don’t live for others. Not for your friends, not for your great love, not even for your adoptive parents. Don’t lie to yourself, build yourself.

We can build our own benchmarks. Our own bases. It is such a difficult and wonderful exercise for us adoptees. But I think it is necessary because the main thing that remains is to listen to yourself.

If you haven’t already, take the time to meet. Make an appointment with yourself.

With love,
Prad

Read Pradeep’s One More Day Without You

2 Replies to “Little Question”

  1. Joy Smith – SW coast of Scotland – I am a nearly 60 something female, who has spent most of her career in the health profession. I have 20 years of Nursing as a General Nurse under my belt, before moving into the Complementary Health sector. First I gained a qualifications in Massage and Aromatherapy, before setting off on the McTimoney Chiropractic pathway. I qualified in 1998 and have since been working in my own clinic "Aligned with Joy" since qualifying. In this time I have come to realise that our physical health often reflects our emotional health, and have helped many people overcome hurdles that were an added bonus to dealing with their physical pain. I am currently undertaking more study, thsi time with the Upledger Institute to become a cranio-sacral therapist. I am also halfway through writing a book or two. The first one is a memoir of my life working as a McTimoney Chiropractor, the second is my life of coming to terms with being adopted. I am now dedicating my life to bringing more Joy into people's lives. You can join the Aligned with Joy Community on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/alignedwithjoycommunity/
    Joy Smith says:

    Thank you. I am making an appointment with myself right now. Blessings J

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