This is a series written by Tamieka Small, adopted from Ethiopia to Australia.
‘Doubt yourself and you doubt everything you see. Judge ourselves and we see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice you can see forever’ – Nancy Lopez
Your voice matters. Our voices as adoptees matter. When you’re a person of colour, an international adoptee, queer person or a woman we all experience unique aspects of oppression from society. Our experiences are valid, our trauma, our abuse are valid and real.
Quite often there are people who try to tear us down, discount marginalised groups and gas-light us into believing that our pains and hardships were just a figment of our imagination; that we’re overly sensitive, that we’re ‘snowflakes’, but we must not let them have power over us, and over our minds. We know deep down when something isn’t right, when we have experienced something we shouldn’t have.
You have a voice, don’t let anyone make you doubt yourself. Don’t let anyone repress your intuition. Stand up for yourself, call people out, speak from your heart because your voice matters, and you’ll be surprised just how many people will feel the same as you, who will resonate with you. You will always find someone trying to bring another person down but we cannot let that dictate our lives in any way.
Thank you for sharing! You’re absolutely right – as adoptees, our voices are often discounted from conversations because society has a narrative of only the positive/savior-esque side of adoption unfortunately. When adoption is brought up in any context (i.e. infertility, human trafficking, or family separation), it’s always met with people saying you’re ungrateful. I’m a Chinese adoptee raised in the U.S. and I’d love to connect 🙂