by Lynelle Long, Founder of InterCountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV)
Personal Connection
Few books have resonated with me as deeply as Erika Hayasaki’s Somewhere Sisters and Barbara Demick’s Daughters of the Bamboo Grove. As a Vietnamese-born, Chinese-descended intercountry adoptee, I find myself straddling the histories of both Vietnam and China, countries forever marked by the politics and pain of adoption. My own lived experience compels me to read works that explore the complexities, ethics, and lifelong consequences of adoption, especially when told through the lens of those directly affected.
Reflections on Somewhere Sisters
I first read Somewhere Sisters in early 2023, having already been in contact with Erika Hayasaki, who interviewed me as part of her research. Her book is the first to document the phenomenon of Vietnamese intercountry adoption to the USA. Prior to this, I had read Gabrielle Glaser’s American Baby, which provides an excellent account of the USA’s domestic adoption practices. Together, these two books offer a powerful comparative understanding of adoption—both domestic and intercountry—from the country that remains the largest receiver of intercountry adoptees in the world, with over half of the 1.2 million documented adoptees sent abroad.
What I found compelling in Somewhere Sisters was the deep dive into the twin story—a unique lens through which to explore nature vs. nurture. As adoptees, we often wonder: “What if?” What if we had remained in our birth countries, raised with our kin, culture, and language? The Vietnamese twin story offers a rare glimpse into that alternate reality, while also highlighting the stark disparities in privilege, power, and truth-telling between adoptive and birth families.
Reflections on Daughters of the Bamboo Grove
This month, I read Barbara Demick’s Daughters of the Bamboo Grove. Much like the documentary One Child Nation, this book offers a meticulously researched account of China’s intercountry adoption history, emerging from the brutal enforcement of the One-Child Policy.
Demick’s work stands out because it not only documents the political and social conditions that shaped these adoptions but also examines the emotional landscape of the families involved—both in China and abroad. Her exploration of a Chinese twin story again brings forward the nature vs. nurture question, as well as a profound critique of the systems that enable the separation of children from their birth families.
Nature vs. Nurture – The “What If?”
Both Hayasaki and Demick remind us that intercountry adoption forces us to live with unanswered questions about who we might have been if we’d stayed in our birth countries. While I am fiercely against the separation of twins through adoption, these books uniquely allow us to witness two versions of a shared life story: one rooted in birth culture and the other shaped by adoption.
The Vietnamese twin raised in Vietnam, though materially less privileged, struck me as more grounded emotionally and culturally. Conversely, the assumption that she would automatically be “better off” in America speaks to a pervasive yet misguided belief that material wealth equals emotional wellbeing.
Adoptive Family Responses – A Stark Contrast
One of the most fascinating elements in both books is the difference in how the adoptive families responded to the investigative journalists. In Somewhere Sisters, the wealthy and privileged American adoptive family rejected the book’s independent analysis, which exposed the trafficking and illicit practices behind their adoption. In contrast, the Chinese adoptive family in Daughters of the Bamboo Grove—though far less affluent and even initially running an adoption agency—came to confront the truth. They shut down their agency, acknowledged their unwitting role in systemic trafficking, and engaged with the journalist’s findings with humility and openness.
These contrasting responses reflect what I’ve seen in the intercountry adoption community: when faced with the uncomfortable truth about unethical or illegal adoption practices, some adoptive parents own their shame, guilt, and complicity, while others react with anger or denial. For adoptees, this response can either become a source of healing—or an additional layer of trauma.
A Voice for Our Community
As someone who has spent decades amplifying the voices of intercountry adoptees through InterCountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV), I am deeply grateful to both Hayasaki and Demick for their work. It is rare for adoptees to be truly seen, heard, and validated in our experiences of loss, displacement, and identity struggle. These books offer independent confirmation of what many of us have lived through and spoken about for years, often without acknowledgment from broader society.
The Reality of Reunion – A Rare Chance
Reading about the reunion of both sets of twins left me with a bittersweet ache. Out of 1.2 million documented intercountry adoptees worldwide, the chance of reunion remains vanishingly small. I have spent over 30 years searching for my own birth family, still with no answers. The Chinese twins’ story, in particular, highlights the sheer determination and heartbreak birth families endure to find their lost children. How many of us have birth families who fought as hard, but have never been given a chance?
Challenging the “Better Off” Narrative
Intercountry adoption is too often framed through a material lens, as though economic gain can compensate for the lifelong loss of identity, culture, and family. Both books challenge this notion effectively. Demick explicitly contrasts the Chinese and American families’ material circumstances, while Hayasaki’s narrative implies the same: being grounded in one’s culture and kinship ties is an immeasurable gift that material wealth can never replace.
Final Thoughts
These books are essential reads for anyone wanting to understand the realities of intercountry adoption. They offer not just historical context but also emotional depth, ethical questioning, and personal testimonies that resonate with adoptees like myself. They are not simply stories of twins separated by adoption—they are windows into the collective experience of a million of us, navigating the complex intersections of identity, belonging, and the fight for truth.
Resources
Lifelong impacts of identity loss
Vulnerable children are not blank slates
Victims of illegal intercountry adoption speak out at the UN
Twin intercountry adoptees who were separated and reunited
Chile: I’m excited that we found them – stolen from Chilean hospital (2023)
China: Twin Sisters: A World Apart (2014); A stolen twin reunites with her birth family (2020); Twins who reunited on GMA (2024)
Georgia: Twins Stolen at Birth (2024)
South Korea: Korean Adoptee Reunites with Identical Twin Brother (2014); Twinsters (2015); Separated at Birth, Identical Twins meet for the first time (2017); Korean twin sisters reunite (2021); Incredible Reunion of Twin Sisters (2024)
Vietnam: Twins Reunited 50 Years After Operation Babylift (2025)