by Hollee McGinnis, adopted from South Korea to the USA, Founder of Also-Known-As (AKA), Assistant Professor of Social Work at Virginia Commonwealth University
May 15, 1975. This little three in a half year old in the red and white pantsuit boarded a plane and the life she had known and the people she loved were lost to her, forever. Or so her little body believed. The familiar songs, lilt of her native tongue, her name, in 24 hours became erased, forever. Or so her little body felt.
She fought and broke away from her escort at the airport, and ran back to her foster parents clinging and crying, holding onto her foster mom’s legs, saying “Umma, Umma, Umma!” (Mommy, mommy, mommy!).
May 16, 1975 is my adoption day. The day I arrived to the USA at John F. Kennedy airport in New York City. It is a day I have always celebrated, for it marked my new life, the birth into my family in America. The life that fills my memories.
Tonight, for the first time ever, I hold space for this day before; for when this little girl lost everything and everyone she ever knew and her heart was broken, leaving a deep well of sadness and grief. For this was the day when another life died.
Tonight, I gave this little girl permission to be felt, to be soothed, to be reassured, and allowed myself to completely feel ~ and release ~ the grief of 49 years.
I grieve so that I may live more fully and completely, not with a broken heart, but a whole heart.
This is the heart and soul of the healing journey. No one could do this for me. And yet, it also could not be done solely by me. It takes courage to heal our deepest wounds and witnesses.
Becoming whole is a journey and I hold gratitude that I have been plodding along as long as I have, slowly with each step, shedding and growing, some steps far more painful than others. No where to get to, just simply more expansiveness to live into.
Journey on, my friends.
Resources
Confirmation that we are born as Adoptees