Adoption is Complicated

Guest post by Aaron Dechter, adopted from Colombia to America.

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45 years ago today, I was adopted and arrived in Boston, USA. This day is hard: three sides to the coin. Deep sadness for Mamá and my Colombian family for the son who was stolen and taken from them. Happiness for my mom and dad and my American family for what was the most important day for them. So that leaves me.

Like many other adoptees who are torn internally into a million pieces, at my age now, I’ve come to accept the ups and downs, the happy and sadness as the pendulum swings each day.

My younger sister tells me, “The pain and suffering of Mamá and the entire family will never heal”. My older sister tells me, “Take it as a gift of life for having two families that love me, for caring for me and allowing my to return home”. Brenna and Gabriella say, “This was a happy day, now knowing that truth it’s different. It’s tough, it’s still a special day but it feels tainted”. All opinions are justified.

So here I am, representing the triad of adoption. I represent Mamá and Colombia family. I represent my parents and American family. I represent Brenna and Gabriella and myself. I can’t wash the adoption off but it made me who I am today.

The path to healing continues but I’m still here fighting the cause for Mamá, my parents and me.

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Christmas Bomb Fragments

You left me with no choice

Purge my memory of you

Both good and pleasant

 

Your nickname “Christmas” is a farce

I’m present, but your presence is a sign of guilt I reject

Your actions toward my nation cannot be negotiated away

 

Bombs named “Louie” and “Tommy” carpeted the landscape

All because you couldn’t admit defeat

All to bolster your stocks in gunpowder and steel

 

1972 to 1973, years to commit to memory

I had yet to be conceived, yet my conception was pre-ordained

Your charity is my blast radius

 

I live here, not there, because you said so

But my memory stretches centuries

Pleasantries aside, my story is your story, and it isn’t pretty

About Kev Minh