Searching for my family in the Philippines

The following blog series will be dedicated to our Searching in Intercountry Adoption series. These individual stories are being shared from our 원근법 종이 that was also shared with our Webinar, Searching in Intercountry Adoption by Adoptee Experts..

~에 의해 데지레 마루, born in the Philippines, raised in the USA

I was born in destitute poverty in the Philippines in 1985 and hence relinquished to an adoption agency on the day that I was born. I was taken care of at Asilo de la Milagrosa, in the care of Catholic nuns who were social workers at the time, and adopted via Holt International to the USA when I was about two years old. I did not know my adoptive parents, nor did they come out to the Philippines to get to know me. My name legally changed, and I was flown from an airplane and delivered to Caucasian strangers that were my legally binding family.

I grew up in Wisconsin, in the Midwest, and had an adopted brother, who was two years older than me, who was also adopted from the Philippines, from a different orphanage. We grew up not being taught about the Philippines. We grew up with a lack of pride or understanding of our home culture, heritage, customs and language. Instead we were heavily assimilated into the Western culture; we were asked a few times about our culture from our adoptive parents but it wasn’t enough support to keep us connected to our home traditions. 

Barriers included a lack of being informed from our adoptive parents about our homeland, ancestry and we also lacked emotional-psychological support for intercountry adoptees in the Midwest at the time. I vaguely remember a time when my adoptive mother sat me down in the living room, back in Wisconsin, she told me I was adopted, and I said, “I know,” and walked out of the living room. I went back to my bedroom to be by myself. That’s the tone of my childhood, where I was showing like I didn’t care when in fact, the whole experience was difficult for me. But I didn’t know how to reach out or talk about it to anybody.

My brother had a lot of issues and we moved to Arizona in high school to try to start over as a family. This is a time when my adoptive mother came into my bedroom and showed me my biological papers. She said she had to wait until I was 18 to give these to me, but I was close enough to the age, or something along those lines. She left, and I looked at them and I cried. I saw the name of my birth mother, and I longed to know more about her. 

I imagined my birth mother a lot in those days. I wrote poetry, and it was never enough to fill the gap and missing pieces of my heart. 

Obstacles in searching at the time was that my biological papers, which had been established by social workers in the Philippines, didn’t preserve much of any functional information for independently searching for family members or family history. These biological papers lacked any kind of suitable, identifiable information that preserved in any way my heritage and family tree information, which would be necessary to piece together my past without needing the very individuals to re-establish the knowledge of my heritage. 

My biological papers revealed next to nothing about my father, which later on, I would find that the information that was volunteered by my birth mother was also false. But as a teenager, when all I have are these old, governmentally-certified papers from my home country, that’s all that I had. So these old-fashioned, brittle documents were my only hope, which were papers that scarcely were able to certify my birth on thin, fragile paper. I had a feeding schedule from my orphanage and a mighty, descriptive report of what I looked like and acted like as a vulnerable baby in the orphanage. And that was all I had of my entire past. These artefacts showed I was just a product of the adoption process. 

I finally decided to pursue a reunion when I was in my mid-twenties. I discovered that Holt International actually had a search and reunion department, so I emailed them, and started the process. They reached out to my old orphanage, Asilo de la Milagrosa, and the kind social workers there had found my files. They also went themselves to the address of my birth mother, and thankfully, she still lived there. From that point, they coordinated with her.

I planned a trip to the Philippines with barely enough funds to cover this at the time. It was difficult because my adoptive mother wasn’t supportive at all, and nobody from my adoptive family supported me either. But in a few months, I was able to create an itinerary. I was to leave Seattle, to the Philippines, and I was given a place to stay with the Intercountry Adoption Board of the Philippines, and later, Asilo de la Milegrosa had guest quarters too. 

The cost of a reunion is plenty. The cost of travel is hefty. But the main cost to consider is the toll of what you’re undergoing psychologically and emotionally. You’ve spent all your life fabricating an identity away from this place, and now you’re returning, and you’re having to break out of that safety net to acknowledge and face parts of your past that had been concealed all this time. So it is disruptive to the security in our lives. It is a risk one takes as well, because you don’t know the results, and how you’ll process the experience post-reunion either. 

The outcome of this search was that I was unknowingly able to have a reunion granted for me, with my birth mother and half-birth brother, due to all of these circumstances leading up to this being uniquely favourable and available to me at the time. 

My reunion was in 2012, and it is now 2023 and I’m living on my own in Indiana. My adopted brother recently passed away last year, homeless on the streets of the Philippines, in 2022. He lacked much needed support throughout his whole life, which will always weigh on me, and I miss him everyday. I don’t talk with my adoptive family anymore, although I had kept in touch with my adoptive parents and grandparents mainly. I just have one surviving adoptive grandfather now as well, so life has changed even in their circumstances. 

After experiencing the whole search and reunion process, I do have my own perspectives to share. I think what is needed is that every adoption company and governmental organisation should have a search and reunion department for all adoptees to utilise.

Every adoption agency and birth country of an orphaned or vulnerable child should be collecting all of their biographical information including family trees and family members, so that they can have the knowledge of their past to utilise for their own personal purposes. Adoptees should have a right to have their family history preserved and safeguarded, administratively. Their biographical information, including birth information and birth records, needs to be preserved as best as possible, and social workers should make sure that all information is accurate and not in fact made up. 

This biographical information is what holds the last of an adoptee’s own cultural identity and historical background, and even medically, this is paramount. This information could give a sense of security and psychological support if anything, which could save society a lot of issues in the long run. It would hold well in the search and reunion process because the more information adoptees are given, the more options adoptees have for meeting or getting to know their home countries in ways that are comfortable for them.

Supportive resources include the adoption agencies free search and reunion administrative support, biological paper filing and holding for the adoptee; it is giving an adoptee full access to their records at any time as well. Intercountry adoption boards or agencies of the home country, and the orphanage that the adoptee was cared for at, all need to be officially accountable. They all need to have proper records of the vulnerable child, and proper process and procedures for the search and reunion. Support should be accessible on a regular basis. 

There should be rapid communication readily available for adoptees today such as having proper email addresses, current phone numbers and customer service at hand. Support should be granted such as places to stay when the adoptee visits the home country and on a reunion; they should be informed of the reunion process, given counselling support, translator support, and if someone can document the reunion for the adoptee, that could help too. 

Now in 2023, after all these years of living life, pursuing therapies, working and becoming the owner of my own life, I’ve decided to start a new chapter of my search and reunion by requesting a MyHeritage DNA Kit for starting an initial search for biological relatives, and to also learn about my DNA heritage, and where I come from. This DNA kit was free due to the program in place recently, which was why I’d participated in requesting this kit. 

The difference in this is that before, I would say, I experienced more of a direct line to my poverty-stricken past at Asilo de la Milagrosa, where in my mid-twenties, I met my birth mother and half birth-brother in 2012. Now, it is simply nice to search in a more discovery-toned, self-paced way, versus having to respond to a critical need to grasp the truth of what happened to me as a vulnerable baby and understand why my mother gave me up when I was born.

In this DNA search, I don’t have to ask too many hard questions, although even to this day, some questions can still linger in my mind from time to time: Why didn’t my biological family contact me all this time? Why wasn’t I able to mend the fabric of my biological family history at a certain point in my life? And, why did my past have to be such a void? 

Coming Next: Searching for my family in Sri Lanka


국제 입양에서의 탐색과 재결합

Searching for my family in South Korea

The following blog series will be dedicated to our Searching in Intercountry Adoption series. These individual stories are being shared from our 원근법 종이 that was also shared with our Webinar, Searching in Intercountry Adoption by Adoptee Experts.

~에 의해 Samara James, born in South Korea, raised in Australia

artwork by Samara

When I first moved to South Korea back in 2008, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to locate my birth family. How do you know whether you want to unlock the biggest mysteries of your life? How do you know if you are ready for it? For me, it was a curiosity, but for my Korean friends, they seemed determined to make the reunion a reality with an almost feverish determination. This is what really propelled the search for my birth family, and despite not really understanding what that would mean or preparing for what may happen, I agreed to do the search. Ann Babe, breaks down the attitudes toward gyopos into three types. She described the first as, “A person that’s older who is sort of angry about you being a Korean but not being fully Korean.” There are the “people who seem flummoxed and simply incapable of grasping your background” but then there are also those who are “very friendly and helpful” but sometimes “overbearing when they try to convert you or reform you” (Wiggin, 2010). My Korean friend (who was also my boss) was this third type. As an older sister figure to me in Korea (or unnie) she took me under her wing and introduced me to Korean life; eventually the reunion between myself and my birth family became her personal mission. My adoptive parents were concerned about me locating my birth family. I knew they didn’t really want me to do it. My mother used to watch movies about adoptees reuniting with their birth families and choosing to stay and live with them, as if they were horror movies, “You would never do that would you?” she used to ask me. I had always promised I wouldn’t but when I asked for my adoption paperwork, I knew in a way I was betraying them. 

My paperwork was scarce to say the least, a piece of paper with my parents’ names dates of birth, the name I was issued by the adoption agency, and the province I was born in, translated into English that only led to dead-ends and we exhausted most of my options quickly. Leanne Lieth, founder of Korean Adoptees for Fair Records Access, explains, “Access to our Korean records is dependent upon whether the adoptee knows that there are duplicate or original records in Korea, that those records may have additional information… and that the adoptee has the will and tenacity to investigate across continents and languages with the often uncooperative and hostile Korean international adoption agencies. This process is arbitrary, inconsistent, and can drag out for years” (Dobbs, 2011). According to Dobbs (2011), “There are no laws sealing or regulating adoption files, which are technically agency private property. The agencies could burn the records if they wanted.” Eventually, my friend convinced me to go on a Korean reality TV show where adoptees can make a public plea for any information that may help to locate their families. Say your Korean name into the camera, she said. I had never used my Korean name before. “My name is Kim Soo-Im. If you have any information about my biological family”… the rest was a blur. Before I knew it, we had found them. 

After declining to film the reunion on air, we drove to meet my birth family. I had no idea what I was walking into, or even where we were. I didn’t expect to have family, I thought I was an orphan but when I walked in the door, I was taken aback to see almost 20 relatives – mother, brother, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents who were all crying inconsolably. I didn’t understand. My friend was so excited and I was completely at a loss for how to react. I didn’t have any questions prepared, I think I was still in a state of shock. All I could think was, why couldn’t I have stayed here? Why are they crying when they abandoned me? 

My friend did the introductions in Korean, and it was only then I realised, she wouldn’t be able to bridge the linguistic and cultural gaps between us. I struggled to understand most of what was said, but a few things came through. I looked like my father who had died a few years earlier. I guessed by my mother’s age, that he may have been in his 40’s at the time. They couldn’t explain to me how he died exactly, but I inferred by their hand signals it was something to do with the chest – I hope it isn’t hereditary. I was told that I have two siblings (who were also put up for adoption) and I was the last of the three children to reunite with the family. My brother who was there, didn’t say anything to me that day. Apparently, he could speak English, but I guess chose not to. I have no idea what he was thinking or what his story was. My sister wasn’t there, when I asked where she was, the reply was “she’s gone”. I couldn’t figure out what ‘gone’ meant. Was she missing? Was she dead? 

My birth mother plead with my friend to tell me that she regretted putting me up for adoption and that she tried everything to undo it. She didn’t know I was sent overseas. My friend looked so overjoyed, but I wasn’t sure what to say, I couldn’t understand. I thought she didn’t want me, I was told I had been abandoned after birth. I was prepared for rejection but regret, despair, shame, longing I didn’t know what to do with. I sat there silently for what felt like hours, then the family asked if I was staying to re-join the family and asked if I would help take care of my ageing mother. Everyone was looking at me expectantly. It was at this point I felt something shutdown inside me, and I told them that I was going to go back to Australia. My birth mother asked if I would sleep over that night and let her hold me. I declined. I wanted to enter that world, but I didn’t know how. It’s something that still haunts me. This part of my life had been closed for over 20 years, and for those moments when I opened it again, I didn’t know what to do. I had never felt so useless, so I closed it again as quickly as possible and I haven’t spoken to them again. This was 15 years ago. 

Behar (1996) who talks about ‘roots’ and ‘routes’, asks how do you return to a home that is lost? How do you reckon with what you uncover? What are you really returning to? What does it offer? Digging through old paintings, I find a self-portrait from when I was a teenager. Half human and half tree, floating above a dark ocean. My roots are exposed and I’m crying the sea of tears that I’m floating above. If I was trying to replant my roots, I was experiencing transplant shock. I didn’t know how to process what had happened. Returning to my office after our reunion, I found a large box of dried squid on my desk. “It’s from your family, they really must love you” my friend exclaimed. I am still at a loss to what that means. What a cruel irony, I had spent my life trying to blend in with my peers in Australia, trying to belong as an Australian. It was all I ever wanted. But in those moments, I wish I could have been Korean. Korean enough to understand what my family was saying and the meaning and context behind it. Now I’m so Australian that it feels like I’ve locked myself out of that world. 

15 years later, looking back from a point in my life where I realise the gravity of what I dug into and how it lingers in my subconscious as an unresolved part of my life. Now that I understand a little more about Korean culture, the adoption system, and the impossible choices my birth mother would have faced, I have finally come to a point where I want to try and reconnect with them again. I realise now that the birth family search is not about guaranteeing a fairy-tale ending, but it’s about opening yourself to something. This time I’ll go in with a completely open mind and heart, no expectations and an adoption specialising translator. I just hope my birth mother’s still alive so I can properly meet her this time.

Samara James (Kim Soo Im)


Behar, R., 1996. Anthropology that breaks your heart. The Vulnerable Observer. 

Dobbs, J.K., 2011. Ending South Korea’s Child Export Shame. [Online]. Foreign Policy in Focus. Last Updated: 23 June 2011. Available at: 

Wiggin, T., 2010. South Korea’s complicated embrace of gyopo. Los Angeles Times. [Online]. 14 February 2010. Available at 

Coming Next: Searching for my family in Romania


국제 입양에서의 탐색과 재결합

베트남에서 가족 찾기

The following blog series will be dedicated to our Searching in Intercountry Adoption series. These individual stories are being shared from our 원근법 종이 that was also shared with our Webinar, Searching in Intercountry Adoption by Adoptee Experts.

~에 의해 Huyen Friedlander, born in Vietnam, raised in the USA

On Sunday, I learned that my birthfather had died. I’m still sifting through how that feels, a unique kind of loss of a parent. Even though we reunited over 20 years ago, there was still a lot left unspoken, and maybe a lot that we didn’t know or understand about each other. We met in-person twice. The first time was shortly after 9/11. I had his contact information for almost a year, but I wasn’t ready to reach out. Knowing that he lived in New Jersey, so close to NYC where the towers fell, I felt a sense of urgency that I shouldn’t waste any more time. I called on a Friday night. I left a voicemail that my name was Huyen and that I thought he had been a friend of my family in Viet Nam. The next morning, he returned my call. 

In the first few seconds of our conversation, I said my name again, said who my birthmother was and said, “I think you may be my birthfather.” Immediately, without any hesitation, he said, “I think I am, too.” That was an enormous gift to me. No denial. No defensiveness. “I thought you and your mother had died.” 

He had been told by an army connection that my mother had died trying to make it to Thailand, and that I had died in the Babylift crash. He said he had wanted to marry my birthmother, but wasn’t allowed to because her family had originally been from the North. 

It felt so surreal to finally have this information, a little window into what had happened. Within a few weeks, I was headed to the East Coast with my adoptive father, my husband and my 17-month-old son in tow. I was about two months pregnant with my daughter at the time. My birthfather and his wife greeted us at a restaurant, with a hug and flowers in hand. After dinner, they were gracious and invited us home for cannoli and a chance to visit more. 

At the house, I was excited to meet my half-sister, who was also the mother of a young son. My birthfather brought out a photograph of me, probably at about 2 years old, a pristine copy of a tattered photo that my birthmother’s sister had held on to for 20 years in Viet Nam. We never did DNA testing; this picture that they had both saved was proof enough. My birthfather also gave me a gold cross that my birthmother had given to him before he left Viet Nam, to protect him on his way home. Similarly, when my birthmother took me to the Friends of the Children of Viet Nam in Saigon to relinquish me, she had put a St. Christopher’s medallion on a string and tied it tight around my neck, to protect me in my new life. Giving me the photograph and the cross felt generous and thoughtful. 

Over the next decade, we checked in periodically by letters or telephone. By the time we would meet in person again, I was widowed, a single mother of two young adolescent children. Having lost my husband, I again felt some urgency in making sure that my kids would meet their biological grandfather. And again, my birthfather was gracious in saying yes to my request. Our visit was sweet and the kids thought he and his wife were fun and kind. Before we left, my birthfather gifted us with an ornate serving set that he had brought back with him from Viet Nam. 

Following that visit, much of our communication happened through Facebook, with occasional comments on each other’s posts. Facebook allowed us to see aspects of each other’s lives in a very natural way. I got a tiny idea of his sense of humour, his love of fishing and model trains. Facebook also happens to be the primary way that I maintain contact with my birthmother; we FaceTime and she sees my posts and photographs.

I didn’t want to post anything about my birthfather’s death on Facebook until I had the opportunity to FaceTime my birthmother in Viet Nam to let her know. During that initial visit with my birthfather in 2001, he told my dad that my birthmother had been his first love. This was a gift to hear, even knowing the sad outcome for them, because in some way it validated my birthmother’s faith that he would come back for us. She waited for eight years. 

In my reunion video with my birthmother (five years before I found my birthfather), we are sitting at my grandparents’ dining room table. She is beaming at me, with an arm around me, and laughing, she says, “Beaucoup love made you! Yeah, beaucoup love made you.” When she looked at me, she saw him. She’d point to my features and say, “Same! Same!” It seemed to bring her joy, to see him in my face. 

I was nervous to call her tonight to tell her the news. I asked my dear friend Suzie to join the call to help translate. I spoke in English, “My birthfather has died. X died. I am so sorry.” And immediately, she let out a mournful cry. Even though my birthmother eventually married and had five more children—the foundation and joy of her life—my birthfather held a special place in her heart as her first love. For a year in their young lives, they had loved each other a lot. 

Suzie helped to translate the details that I’ve heard before. It was wartime. There was nothing they could do to be together. 50 years later, my birthfather’s passing is a loss to my birthmother. As a devout Catholic, she is praying for him now. There was a lot I didn’t know about my birthfather, and I would still like to know more, but I can also be at peace with what I know. 

For now, I’m staying grounded in the gratitude that I feel for having found him, gratitude that he recognised me, and gratitude for the opportunities that I had to connect with him and his family. I’m saying a prayer for his wife and family as they navigate this loss.

Coming Next: Searching for my family in South Korea


국제 입양에서의 탐색과 재결합

입양인 전문가 웨비나에 의한 해외 입양 검색

On 23 April 2023, ICAV ran a panel webinar to bring you the expertise of our Search professionals around the world, sharing their best words of wisdom for what to consider when undergoing searching in intercountry adoption. They directly represented adoptee organisations from Sri Lanka, Ethiopia, Sth Korea, Haiti, Colombia and Greece.

Watch the webinar here:
참고: Chrome에서 보는 경우 동영상을 보려면 자세히 알아보기 버튼을 클릭하세요.


For those who are time poor and want to skip to the sections that are relevant, here is a timecode to assist:

00:20 Intro, Welcome, Purpose
04:30 Intro of panelists
04:39 Marcia Engel
06:48 Rebecca Payot
09:29 Jonas Desír
10:25 Linda Carol Trotter
12:55 Kayla Curtis
15:22 Hilbrand Westra
17:44 Benoît Vermeerbergen
21:00 Celin Fässler

Questions / Answers

23:28 What does the general search process involve? – Kayla
27:30 What should adoptees to do prepare? – Linda, Marcia
35:51 What are some of the outcomes? – Jonas, Kayla, Linda
46:50 Some possible barriers to expect? – Rebecca, Linda
56:51 What ethics to consider? – Marcia, Kayla
1:06:40 What should a search cost? – Rebecca, Linda, Celin
1:11:46 Who to trust? Hilbrand, Jonas
1:16:16 What issues to consider in DNA testing? – Benoît
1:19:18 What outcomes can result with DNA testing? – Benoît
1:20:40 What DNA tests do you recommend? Benoït, Marcia
1:23:51 What are the advantages of using an adoptee led search org? – Celin, Marcia
1:28:28 What was involved in becoming a trusted Government funded search org? – Celin
1:30:36 What is needed most from Governments to help adoptees in our searching? – Hilbrand, Marcia

Summary of Key Messages

딸깍 하는 소리 여기 for a pdf of our Key Messages from each panelist


Huge thanks to the 26 adoptees who wanted to share their experiences of searching so that others can gain a deeper understanding. They represent experiences of 13 birth countries (China, Colombia, India, Malaysia, Morocco, Peru, Philippines, Romania, Russia, South Korea, Sri Lanka, Thailand, Vietnam), sent to 9 adoptive countries (Australia, Belgium, Canada, France, Germany, Scotland, Sweden, UK, USA).

ICAVs newest Perspective Paper on Searching in Intercountry Adoption

For more resources, see our Searching & Reunion page

입양인 전문가의 해외입양 검색

On April 23, ICAV will be providing a webinar on some of the complex issues involved in searching in various birth countries, but with specific knowledge of Colombia, Ethiopia, Haiti, Greece, Korea, and Sri Lanka.

Our webinar will be unique in that we are not only bringing our lived experience as individuals, but also presenting as a global resource, highlighting the adoptee led organisations who provide a formal search and support services. Our panelists hold the dual role of knowing intuitively how complex searching is as individuals having done their own searching and also having decades of experience in providing formal search and support services to the community.

ICAV knows intuitively what the latest 연구 (p231) conducted within the Korean adoptee community shows – i.e.,, that intercountry adoptees find their peers and adoptee led organisations to be the most helpful in their searches. There’s nothing better than those who live it knowing intuitively how to best provide the services we need as a community.

If you’d like to be part of our audience, click here to RSVP.

Our 8 panelists are:

마르시아 엥겔

Marcia is the creator and operator of 플랜엔젤, a nonprofit human rights foundation currently based in Amsterdam, Netherlands. Her organization has a powerful mission: helping Colombian families find their children who were lost to child trafficking and adoption.

For fifteen years now, Plan Angel has grown a strong community with over 1,000 families in Colombia. The foundation helps these families search for their missing adopted children all over the world, hoping to one day reconnect them with each other. Marcia and her foundation have reunited hundreds of families and continue to support them after their reunion.

Linda Carol Forrest Trotter

Linda is a Greek-born adoptee, adopted by American parents and found her biological family in Greece five and a half years ago. She is the founder and president of 에프티키아 프로젝트, a nonprofit organization that assists and supports, free of charge, Greek-born adoptees searching for their roots and Greek families searching for their children lost to adoption.

In addition to its Search and Reunion program, the Eftychia Project, in collaboration with the MyHeritage DNA company, distributes DNA kits for free to adoptees and Greek families. To date, The Eftychia Project has facilitated the reconnections of 19 adoptees with their Greek families.

The Eftychia Project also actively advocates on behalf of all Greek-born adoptees with the Greek government for their birth and identity rights, including transparency about their adoptions, unfettered access to their birth, orphanage and adoption records, and the restoration of their Greek citizenship.

케일라 커티스

Kayla is born in South Korea and adopted to South Australia. Kayla has been searching for her Korean birth family for over twenty years. She returned to Korea to do ‘on the ground’ searching using posters, newspapers, local police, and adoptee search organisations. In the absence of having a reunion with birth family, she has built a meaningful relationship with her birth country and Korean culture and proudly identifies as Korean-Australian.  

In her professional life, Kayla works as a Senior Counsellor for the 국제 입양인 및 가족 지원 서비스(ICAFSS) at Relationships Australia.  

Kayla is a qualified Therapeutic Life Story Worker and has a Master’s in Social Work as well as extensive experience working in the area of adoption both in government and non-government, providing counselling, education and training, community development and post adoption support.  In this role, Kayla supports intercountry adoptees with searching and navigating this uncertain and complex process between countries, as well as offering therapeutic support to adoptees, on this journey. 

조나스 데지르


Jonas is a Haitian adoptee raised in Australia who has spent many years assisting his fellow Haitian adoptees to search for their families in Haiti. He was adopted from Haiti at 6 years old and eventually was able to find his mother in Haiti. Today he is happily married with children and works a lot to help mentor other younger adoptees and help adoptive families.

Benoît Vermeerbergen

Benoît was born in Villers-Semeuse, France under “Sous X”. This means that his parents and especially his mother did not want to be known or found. His birth certificate literally only shows X’s as parents’ names. Growing up Benoît had a lot of questions trying to understand all of this. After his studies, he purposely began working for the ‘Population Services’ in the hope of discovering more information about his birth mother. 

During this process and the years that followed, Benoît helped so many other people in their search (for example, trying to find their biological birth parents), that he made genealogical research his main source of income. It has always been and will always be his greatest passion in life! 

Genealogy and adoption therefore are his field of specialisation. In the past couple of years he has also started working in the field of ‘DNA’. In 2019, he found his biological mother through this method. Today, he cooperates with a lot of genealogical and adoption related authorities and helps to invent and build many adoption related platforms. Although Belgium is his home country, he also has experience in doing research abroad, i.e. Australia, Mexico, and The Netherlands.

Rebecca Payot

Rebecca is the founder of the association Racines Naissent des Ailes and co-founder of Emmaye Adoptee’s Family Reunion. Adopted in Ethiopia at the age of 5, Rebecca is a graduate in early childhood psychology specialising in adolescents in identity crisis. She has worked for 20 years in international adoption in France as a consultant and speaker on quest of origins. She is the author of her first book entitled “The Quest of Origins, a Miracle Remedy for the ills of the adopted?”

힐브란트 웨스트라

Hilbrand is a Korean adoptee raised in the Netherlands and has the longest track record, working with and for adoptees in the Netherlands since 1989. Internationally, his name is well known and disputed at the same time by the first generation of intercountry adoptees because he dared to oppose the Disney fairytale of adoption. He is also the first adoptee in the world to receive an official Royal decoration by the King of the Netherlands in 2015 and is Knighted in the Order of Orange Nassau for outstanding work for adoptees and in the field of adoption.

In daily life, Hilbrand runs his own school in systemic work and is a renowned teacher and trainer nationally and his work has sparked great interest in the UK. He spends time bridging the work in this field between the Netherlands and the UK. Hilbrand is a confidant and executive coach for leaders and directors in the Netherlands and also works partly with the Ministry of Defence and the Ministry of Education, Culture and Science.

Celin Fässler

Celin is adopted from Sri Lanka to Switzerland and is the Communications Manager and Board Member at 뿌리로 돌아가기. Back to the Roots is a Swiss NGO founded in 2018 by Sri Lankan adoptees. Its main goal is to raise awareness of the complex search for origins and to support adoptees in their searching process. Since May 2022, Back to the Roots has been funded by the Swiss government and the regional districts in order to provide professional support to adoptees from Sri Lanka to Switzerland.

Sarah Ramani Ineichen

Sarah is adopted from Sri Lankan to Switzerland and is the President of Back to the Roots and may present jointly with Celin in this webinar.

The webinar will be recorded and made available at ICAVs website.

If you have questions you’d like to see addressed in our webinar, please add your comments to this blog or 연락하다 us.

Huge thanks to the Australian Government, DSS for funding this event via our Relationships Australia, Small Grants & Bursaries program.

베트남에서 입양된 남매가 DNA로 서로를 찾습니다.

Mikati is a fellow Vietnamese adoptee raised in Belgium, who joined the ICAV network some years ago, wanting to connect to those who understood the complexities of this lifelong journey. I’m honoured to be a part of her life and she told me the amazing news recently of finding and reuniting with her biological brother Georges who was also adopted, but to France. Neither knew of the other until their DNA matches showed up. Together, Mikati and Georges have shared with me their thoughts about finding each other and searching now for their Vietnamese family. Since sharing this and having their news go viral in Vietnamese media, they are currently awaiting news that they have possibly found their mother. Incredible what can be achieved these days with DNA technology and social media! Here is their story as reunited brother and sister.

About Your Life


I’ve been adopted in 1996 by French parents and my Vietnamese name is Trương Vanlam. I live in Noisy-le-Grand, a little Parisian suburb near the river Marne. I happily live with my cat and girlfriend.  

My life in France (childhood to present) meant I’ve grown up in the countryside surrounded by medieval castles, fields and forests. It has not always been easy to be different in a place where Asian people were very rare to encounter. I was a shy kid but I was happy to have the love of my adoptive family and some friends. Later, I studied in Paris, a pluri-ethnic place with a lot of people from different origins. I have an interest in arts like theatre and cinema and I’ve started to develop short films with my friends. I am not shy anymore but creative and more confident.  

My adoptive parents were very happy to see me for Christmas. They are retired and they don’t leave their village very often like before. They try to help me as much as they can and are happy about my reconnection to my new found sister, Mikati. I trust and respect my adoptive parents and they trust me and respect me equally.  

I teach cinema, video editing and graphics with Adobe suite to adults and teens. I’m making videos and one day, I hope to become a movie director.  


I was born in 1994 and adopted to Belgium in June 1995 at 7 months of age. I currently live in Kortrijk in West-Flanders, Belgium. My childhood was in Anzegem, not so far from Kortrijk.

I have been able to develop and grow up in Belgium. I have some dear friends. I have a nice job. Over the years I have made beautiful trips in and out of Europe and met many people. I have done two studies – orthopedagogy and social work. Here I learned how important human, children’s and women’s rights are. I have been working for a non-profit organization for years. I follow up families in socially vulnerable situations and connect them with a student who is studying at the college or university. I did not study to be a teacher, but it is true that I do train students about how they can work with vulnerable families, how they can reflect on their actions, etc.

My childhood wasn’t all that fantastic. As an intercountry adoptee, I grew up in a white environment. That environment had little respect for my original roots. Sometimes I would walk down the street and hear racial slurs from people I didn’t know. As much as I tried to assimilate, I didn’t forget my roots.

My Vietnamese name is Pham Thi Hoa Sen which says a lot about what my life has been like. I grew up to turn out beautiful but I grew up in mud just like a lotus flower. A thorough screening could have prevented a lot. My adoptive parents are not bad people and they did their best, but they underestimated the care needed for children adopted internationally. My adoptive mother already had two children from a previous marriage that she was no longer allowed to see. She was mentally unable to raise children. My adoptive parents are burdened by trauma that they have not worked through. At that time there was also little to no psychological support and guidance for adoptive parents. It was very difficult growing up with them. It is by seeking help for myself and talking to people about it, that I am more aware of life. Just because you mean well and have good intentions does not mean that you are acting right.

About Your Reunion


It has been surreal, like a dream and a little bit frightening to be found by my sister because all my beliefs about my personal history are now unsure. The first days, I remember repeating again and again, “I’ve got an elder sister, I’ve got an elder sister”. Then we started to talk and get to know each other more and it became more real. Now I’m very happy and proud to have Mikati as my sister. It’s very strange because even though we met only two weeks ago, I feel like I have know her for a long time. For me, it’s a new step in my life, the beginning of a journey where I will connect more with her, with Vietnam, where we will try to discover our family story, I hope.  

Mikati is a strong and caring woman who is always trying to help others despite having encountered many difficulties in her life. She’s very passionate, clever, funny and above all I respect and admire the person she is. We like to discuss many things from important subjects like international adoptions and smaller subjects like the life of our respective cats or tv series or why Belgians are so proud to eat French fries with mayonnaise. I don’t know why but I’ve quickly felt a connection with her. It could be because of our shared DNA but I think it’s more probably because she is fundamentally fantastic as a person. I like to tease her a little sometime and she’s very patient with me and my jokes! We’ve got our differences of course, but siblings always have differences. I’m very glad to have her in my life.  


1.5 years ago I decided to take a DNA test through MyHeritage (a commercial DNA-kit). To get a bit of an indication of where my roots come from. Through the result I got a little more information about ethnicity and I saw distant relatives. It was cool to know something because I know very little about my roots. I hadn’t looked at MyHeritage in a long time until early December 2022. I have no idea why exactly as I didn’t even get a notification. To my surprise, I saw that I had a new match. It wasn’t just any distant relative, it was my brother! He lived in a neighbouring country, France!

You have to know that I just woke up when I looked at my mobile phone, so I immediately sent a message to some close friends and my guidance counsellor at the Descent Center. I wanted to know if I was dreaming. Finally I got the confirmation from the experts at the Descent Center that my DNA result were real and we share over 2500 centimorgans! That means he is not half but rather, a full brother.

I was so happy! So many emotions raced through my body that day. I saw a lot of people who were also adopted at an event that day. Most of them were a great support. Most were as happy and moved as I was. A minority reacted rather short, jealous or gave unsolicited advice about anything and everything. I also understand their feelings. It is an exceptional situation that triggers many emotions. Those emotions of others made it sometimes overwhelming for me.

I contacted Georges through Facebook. I wondered if he had already seen it. When he didn’t reply, a friend gave me his LinkedIn profile that had his email address on it. I felt like a little stalker but I decided to send him an email as well. I sent him a little text and gave him the option to get in touch if he wanted to. When he answered, he introduced himself and asked a few questions. The contact was open, enthusiastic and friendly. So we are very sure of the DNA match, but some mysteries soon surfaced quickly during the first conversation. We told each other what name we got on our adoption papers. Our last names are different. I see on my adoption papers that I have the same last name as my mother. Maybe he has the father’s last name? Georges has not yet properly looked at his adoption papers, so there are still pieces of the puzzle missing.

I am happy when I connect with my brother. The contact feels so natural! We talk and joke like we have known each other for years. We both got a little emotional when we talked about our childhood but also realised how close geographically we grew up. Georges is barely 14 months younger than me. Did the orphanage ever talk to my adoptive parents and suggest taking Georges too? So that we could grow up together? What would my adoptive parents do in such a situation? With a reunion, the search for one’s identity is not over. In fact, it has opened up many more questions!

About your biological family in Vietnam     


My determination to find my family in Vietnam has increased since I met my elder sister but I’ve always been curious to find more information about my biological mother and father. Growing up as an adopted child, I grew up with a perpetual mystery about my origins. It defines me, marking me forever because I’m always facing the fear of being rejected again . Like many adoptees, I grew up with this explanation: “Your first parents left you because of their poverty.” This is speculation which may be true or not and we do not know until the facts are gathered. I feel no anger about that but I want to know the real motives, the real story from their point of view. Was it their decision or not….?

Mikati is really passionate and determined in this search and about our story and she told me about the real problems caused by some organisations which have seen international adoption as a business in the 1990s. I did research to gather information based on official and independent reports from the press and UNICEF and I talked to adopted people who have been in our orphanage. I’m worried about some testimonies, about the lack of transparency in the adoption process and to adoptive parents, adopted children and biological parents and now I want to be sure if our parents gave their consent or not. I’m also determined to discover this truth and to show our journey through a documentary in order give more information about what could have been problematic in international adoption in the 1990s to year 2000. I’m not alone in this quest ,my elder sister is with me and I’m with her.  

I’ve never had the opportunity to return to Vietnam yet but it is something I hope to do in the near future. I’m sure it won’t be only for fun and tourism!

You can follow Georges at 페이스북, 링크드인 또는 유튜브.


I have my reasons for wanting to find my parents. Under Article 7 of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child, the child has a right to information about his or her parentage. It is also fundamental in human beings to know where they come from. As long as I don’t know the story about my biological parents, I can’t be mad. I really wonder what their
story is. I know it’s going to be hard to search. I know that commercial DNA testing is less used in Vietnam. Papers and names were sometimes forged. I don’t know if my mom actually came from My Tho. Is her name really Tuyet Mai? Right now I’m looking at it mostly inquisitively and with compassion. I want to look at the bigger picture. Why is it that parents are faced with the decision to give up a child? How can a system support parents so that such things do not have to happen again?

Recently a Vietnamese woman contacted me on social media. She told me why she had given up her child in the same orphanage as Georges and I. It has not been easy for her to find out where her child went and she continues to search for her child, even if it was more than 20 years ago. She is still saddened by the situation. If anyone can help us broaden this search, please see 여기.

I have lost contact with my adoptive parents, so they know nothing about my search. I’m sure my adoptive mother would have disapproved.

It would be nice if we find our parents, but we’ll see. I am very grateful for Phuc who has offered to help us search. He seems very nice. I hear from other adoptees that he is friendly and reliable. I also read articles about him and it’s unbelievable what he does to bring families together! I would find it courageous if families dare to come out for what was difficult in the past and why they gave up their child. By telling their story as biological parents, even if they feel ashamed, our society can learn and improve the future.

There are adoptees whose biological parents thought their baby was stillborn but it was actually sold for adoption. If that’s the case with our parents, they don’t even know we are alive. Our story can be everything. It’s hard to know what our case was.

I have so many unanswered questions and I would like to know my family’s story.

If I were to see my biological mother again, the first thing I would tell her is that I would like to get to know her and listen to her story.

Vietnam will always be special to me, even though I didn’t grow up there. I was 9 years old when I went back with my adoptive parents and my sister (non biological) who is also adopted. We went from North to South. Even though my adoptive mother was negative about Vietnam, she couldn’t ruin it for me. The food, the smiling people, the chaos in Ho Chi Minh and the nature in smaller villages have stayed with me. Now I’m reading more about Vietnam and talking more to Vietnamese people. I am saving up to travel to Vietnam again. Maybe alone, maybe with friends or maybe with Georges. We’ll see. But I certainly will go back and learn more about my beautiful country.

You can follow Mikati and her journey at 페이스북 또는 인스 타 그램.

To read Mikati and Georges’ story as published in the Vietnam media, click 여기 and the English translation 여기.

K-Box Adoptee Takeover Night에서 Ebony

Ebony는 아이티 태생의 국제 입양인으로 호주에서 자랐습니다. 그녀는 작품을 통해 우리가 국제 입양인으로서 살아가는 복잡한 문제와 우리의 정체성을 탐구하는 것을 말하는 재능 있는 예술가입니다. 

개성, 입양, 섹슈얼리티, 퀴어니스 및 흑인 정체성의 개념을 탐구하는 데 관심이 있는 호주 현대 예술가로서. Ebony는 그녀의 작업을 구성하기 위해 다양한 재료를 사용하여 드로잉과 표현적인 조각 형태를 만드는 데 자신의 삶의 경험을 활용합니다. 퍼포먼스 역시 그녀의 창작 활동에서 중요한 요소입니다. 2000년에 Ebony는 드래그 개성을 만들었습니다. 코코 매스. 코코는 영혼이 담긴 노래를 부르는 것을 좋아하고 사회에서 직면한 문제에 대해 항상 이야기하고 솔직한 약간의 불량배입니다. Koko는 청중과 함께 재미를 느끼면서 인식에 정면으로 도전합니다. Ebony의 관행은 대담하고 정치적으로 참여하며 그녀가 계속 탐구하는 강력한 시각적 언어로 커뮤니티에 영향을 미치는 문제에 대응합니다. Ebony는 2020년 멜버른의 Victorian College of the Arts에서 현대 미술 석사 과정을 마쳤습니다. 

Ebony는 사람들이 집으로 가져갈 수 있도록 호주의 국제 및 초인종 입양 예술가를 기념하는 인쇄된 잡지인 ZINE에 이 작품을 기고했습니다.

당신이 멜버른에 살고 있다면 그녀의 작품을 더 많이 볼 수 있습니다. 친 친 & 고고 125 Flinders Lane에서. 바는 그녀의 작품으로 장식된 아래에 표시된 그녀의 비디오는 골목길에 투영됩니다. 

그녀는 또한 10월 7일 호주 퍼스트 네이션 입양인 그룹과 함께 참여하고 있습니다. 멜버른 대학교 라는 제목의 전시회에서 채택 된.

이 비디오에 대한 Ebony의 아티스트 성명:

신성한 메이크업, 2019

신성한 메이크업은 내 그림에 생명을 불어넣고 프레임 안에 나를 넣고 내가 그리는 방법을 보여주고 이를 말과 함께 사용하는 한 예입니다. 그림 그리기는 내 연습의 중요한 부분입니다. 나는 종이와 텍스트의 단순한 형태를 존중합니다.

나는 그림의 즉각성을 좋아합니다. 나는 내 그림이 즉흥적일 수 있다고 생각하고 자유롭게 그리는 것을 좋아합니다. 그림을 그릴 때 결과를 계획하지 않고 시작하여 어디로 가는지 확인하고 표시가 내 방향을 안내하도록 합니다. Ebony로서 제 작업은 개인적이고 정직합니다. 내 그림은 내 삶의 감정, 경험 및 특정 순간이 혼합된 것입니다. 이 비디오는 내가 최근에 탐색한 아이디어를 보여주며 공간을 나의 검은 자아로 채우기 위해 모입니다.

에보니 히키의 영화 감상 신성한 메이크업:


ICAV에서 Ebony의 다른 작품:
나는 나니까
두 가지 방법으로 태어났다

Ebony에 대한 자세한 내용은 다음에서 확인할 수 있습니다.
IG: @ebony.hickey.7

다음 예정 저녁에 메그의 프레젠테이션입니다.

국제 입양에서의 탐색과 재결합

검색 및 재결합: 영향 및 결과

2016년에 ICAV는 국제 입양과 관련된 수색 및 재결합의 기복을 공유하는 생생한 경험의 목소리를 세계 최초로 편집했습니다. 이전에는 이와 같은 리소스가 없었지만, 입양인으로서 우리의 일생에 걸쳐 가장 큰 도전 중 하나는 검색할 것인지, 관련 내용을 찾고, 해결 방법을 찾는 것입니다. 이러한 질문에 답할 수 있는 방법을 제공하고 싶었기 때문에 ICAV 입양인에게 뒤돌아본 후 얻은 교훈에 초점을 맞춰 경험을 공유하도록 요청했습니다. 나는 또한 그들에게 우리의 수색과 상봉 과정에서 우리를 더 잘 지원하기 위해 당국과 조직이 할 수 있는 일을 공유할 것을 요청했습니다. 나는 우리의 관점 논문을 영어와 프랑스어로 출판했고 14개 출생 국가에서 10개 입양 국가에 입양된 입양인의 경험을 다루는 101페이지짜리 논문(책)이 되었습니다.

최근 헤이그 특별 위원회에서 논의된 핵심 주제 중 하나가 입양 후 지원이라는 점을 감안할 때, 나는 우리 논문을 다시 공유하고 읽을 시간이 없는 사람들을 위해 요약을 제공하는 것이 시의적절하다고 느꼈습니다. 101 페이지와 중앙 당국 및 입양 후 조직의 이익을 위해 우리의 경험에서 배울 수 있습니다.

주요 주제 요약 '수색과 재회: 영향과 결과' InterCountry Adoptee Voices(ICAV) 2016

추적 서비스 사용 시 직면한 문제 및 과제:

  • 전문 상담의 필요성은 대부분의 이야기에서 반복되는 주제입니다. 특히 첫 번째 만남을 위해 입양인을 준비시키기 위해 국제 입양을 이해하고 전문화하는 사람이 제공합니다.
  • 수색은 종종 소셜 네트워크 사이트를 통해 수행되어 입양인이 취약하고 친가족과의 교류를 제대로 지원하지 않을 수 있습니다.
  • 개인정보 보호 문제 및 장벽
  • 출생 재연결을 돕기 위해 출생 기록에 대한 액세스 필요
  • 여권 및 비자 문제를 언급한 여러 사례
  • 입양 기관은 개인 정보 보호로 인해 출생 가족에 대한 식별 정보를 공개하지 않습니다.
  • 서비스의 투명성 및 액세스 위치
  • 부패에도 불구하고 출생 기록이 정확하다는 가정
  • '당신의 역사를 재건'하는 감각
  • 언어 및 문화적 장벽으로 인해 친가족과의 관계 유지에 어려움
  • 입양인이 정보를 찾을 때 입양 기관이 따라야 할 보다 표준화된 법률과 절차가 필요합니다.
  • 입양인이 파일에 액세스할 수 있도록 법률 통과
  • 입양인의 상담 및 검색 시 번역에 대한 지원이 더 필요합니다.
  • 수색 및 재결합 과정을 처음부터 끝까지 지원하는 원활한 상담 서비스
  • 과정을 거친 입양인 멘토 명단
  • 입양인 수색에 대한 이야기와 이러한 수색에 대한 화해는 자신의 수색을 시작하려는 다른 입양인에게 정서적 지원을 제공할 것입니다.

출생 가족을 찾을 때 성인 입양인을 위한 개선된 지원을 위한 제안:

  • 문서화가 핵심이며 공개 채택이 지원을 제공하는 가장 좋은 방법입니다.
  • 인터랙티브의 필요성 지원 그룹 그리고 그것들을 어디에서 찾을 수 있는지 알기 위해
  • 입양 부모가 입양인의 평생 문제를 관리할 수 있도록 돕는 포괄적인 교육, 입양 과정의 모든 당사자를 위한 저렴한 상담, 특히 입양 과정의 단계에 관계없이 이러한 지원을 받을 수 있도록 지원
  • 평생 동안 입양된 사람들을 사회복지사 '체크인'
  • 각국의 출생, 입양, 사망, 결혼 등 다른 데이터베이스에 접속하여 조회할 수 있도록 데이터베이스 유지 관리
  • 일부 입양인은 입양 가족이 18세까지 입양 문제를 관리하는 데 도움이 되는 의무 교육을 받기를 원합니다. 언어 교육, 문화사 교육, 모든 문서 보유의 중요성, 출신 국가를 정기적으로 함께 방문하는 가치
  • 입양 파일에 완료한 입양인 DNA 테스트 포함(Y 또는 N)

재결합 경험에 대한 입양인들의 주요 인용문:

“입양은 일생에 걸친 긴 여정이며, 지금도 나는 입양에 대한 신선한 계시를 받고 있습니다. "일반적인" 영향은 큰 고뇌에서 비롯된 심오한 권한 부여 중 하나였습니다."

“동창회 전에 아주 좋은 심리학자와 세션을 가졌지만, 저는 여전히 제가 알려야 할 것이 훨씬 더 많다고 생각합니다. 조언, 조언 및 지원을 통해 재결합 경험을 기꺼이 공유하고자 하는 다른 입양인들에게 안내를 받았더라면 좋았을 것입니다.”

“제 친가족이 기본적으로 이방인이라는 사실을 깨닫는 것은 정말 충격적이었습니다. 만약 제가 그들과 관계를 맺고 싶다면, 그들이 저를 거부한 후 쌓아온 삶을 희생하고 제가 발전시키기 위해 고군분투했던 정체성을 다시 바꿔야 할 것입니다. 그들의 기대에 부응하라."

“내 경험에 따르면 수색과 재결합의 가장 큰 장애물은 다음과 같습니다.

내가 태어난 나라에서 '관광객'이 되는 것. 나는 놀랍게도 같은 국적의 사람들이 내가 그들 중 하나라고 가정하고 내가 입양한 상황을 설명해야 하는 것이 놀랍고 어렵다는 것을 알았습니다.

재결합 후, 즉 과거에 대한 문을 여는 결과를 처리하는 작업은 되돌릴 수 없습니다! 상봉 이후의 양상과 결과에 대해 더 잘 준비하고 더 잘 지원했어야 했다”고 말했다.

“제대로 된 조건에 도달하고 재결합 후 입양에 대해 머리를 숙이는 데 수년이 걸렸습니다. 그것은 의심할 여지 없이 내 정체성과 내 삶의 과정에 최고의 영향을 미쳤습니다. 나의 입양은 내가 감사하게 여기고 함께 발전하는 것이 되었습니다. 내가 태어나기도 전에 내 인생이 끝났어야 한다는 것을 알게 되자 믿을 수 없을 정도로 감사했고 내 인생에서 무언가를 하고 싶은 동기가 생겼습니다.”

"어머니와 떨어져 있을 때의 상처는 답이 없는 질문의 신비로 인해 악화됩니다."

ICAV Perspective Paper 전문을 읽으려면: 검색 및 재결합 – 영향 및 결과 영어 또는 프랑스어로, 우리의 컬렉션을 참조하십시오 관점 논문.

그리스 국제 입양인 옹호

조직 로고, 그리스 국외 입양인을 위한 Eftychia 프로젝트

최초의 국제 입양인 집단 중 하나인 그리스 국제 입양인 커뮤니티는 다음과 같은 놀라운 작업으로 대표됩니다. 린다 캐롤 포레스트 트로터 그녀의 조직에서 수행 에프티키아 프로젝트. 저는 지난 5년 동안 Linda와 연락을 주고받았고 그녀가 그리스 정부의 관심을 끌기 위해 그녀의 커뮤니티를 옹호하는 일을 하는 것을 좋아합니다. 입양인들이 스스로를 옹호하는 것은 정말 멋진 일입니다!

이것은 Linda가 작년 말 그리스 정부와 가진 회의 중 하나였습니다. 너무 늦게 게시해서 죄송합니다. 그러나 다른 입양인 그룹과 지도자들이 지역 사회를 옹호하기 위해 전 세계에서 일부 입양인 지도자들이 하고 있는 일을 보는 것이 도움이 됩니다.

여기가 린다의 공식적인 편지 그녀는 회의에서 그리스 정부에 제공했습니다. Linda를 공유해 주셔서 감사합니다!

훌륭한 일입니다. 그리스 정부가 나서서 Linda의 편지에서 요청한 그리스 입양인 커뮤니티에 필요한 지원, 서비스 및 권리를 제공하기를 바랍니다. 이러한 권리와 요구는 다음에서 제공되기 위한 기본 필수요소로 인식되어야 합니다. 모든 우리가 입양한 나라.

자세한 내용은 입양인 옹호, 전 세계에서 수행한 일부 작업에 대한 ICAV의 광범위한 블로그 목록을 참조하십시오.

인도는 나를 버렸다

~에 의해 크리스 라오, 인도에서 미국으로 입양된 이 아이는 최근 후기 발견 입양인으로 입양된 사실을 알게 되었습니다.

Karthik Nagarajan이 주최하는 The Filter Koffee Podcast라는 인도 기반 팟캐스트를 접했습니다. 그는 손님과 함께 앉아서 설명하면서 대화를 나눴습니다. "당신을 더 부유하게 만드는 종류. 커피만이 낼 수 있는 그런 맛.”

가장 최근인 2022년 1월에는 대법원 변호사 Poulomi Pavini Shukla와 함께 인도의 고아에 대해 이야기했습니다. 이 특정 에피소드의 제목은 인도의 고아들이 두 번이나 버려진 이유?

팟캐스트에 대한 너무 많은 세부 사항을 다루지 않고 다음은 그들이 다룬 몇 가지 핵심 주제입니다.

  • 보살핌이 필요한 아이들을 위해 마련된 다양한 계획.
    (인도의 정부 계획은 시민의 사회 경제적 복지를 다루기 위해 정부에 의해 시작되었습니다)
  • 고아를 위한 돈/예산. 이는 어린이 1인당 하루 1루피 미만에 해당합니다.
  • 유니세프가 보고한 인도의 고아 수 추정.
  • 고아원은 어떻게 운영되며 각 지역에 얼마나 많은 고아원이 세워져야 하는지.
  • 버려진 아이들과 고아로서의 삶에 어떤 일이 발생합니까?
  • 여성과 남성 고아의 차이점.

나를 놀라게 한 것 중 하나는 인도에 추정되는 고아 수였습니다. 유니세프에 따르면 인도에는 2,960만 명의 고아가 있으며 약 3,000만 명이 있습니다.

입양인으로서, 이른바 사회적 고아 중 한 명으로서 이 팟캐스트를 들으면서 생각할 수 있는 것은 다음과 같습니다.

인도에 3천만명의 고아가 있는 이유는 무엇입니까?

이 문제를 일으키는 내 나라는 무엇입니까?

이를 방지하기 위해 우리나라는 무엇을 하고 있습니까?

제가 보기에 가장 큰 문제는 보살핌을 필요로 하는 3천만 명의 고아가 있다는 것뿐만 아니라 6천만 명의 부모가 자녀를 포기하고 버렸다는 것입니다. 그리고 여전히 일어나고 있습니다. 이 숫자는 여전히 증가하고 있습니다.

그 대화는 어디에 있습니까?

종교 때문인가, 카스트? 여기에 어떤 다른 요인이 작용하고 있습니까?

재생산 정의는 어떻습니까?

저는 인도에서 나온 수백만 명의 사회적 고아 중 한 명입니다. 그리고 그것은 내가 고아인 이유가 내 존재가 가족에게 "부끄러움"을 가져다주기 때문입니까? 내 존재가 성을 욕되게 하는 걸까?

내 개념이 인도 사회와 문화의 눈에 너무 문제가 많아서 어머니가 나를 버려야 한다고 느꼈습니까?

내가 입양된 유일한 이유는 사회가 어떻게든 어머니를 실망시켰고 처음부터 해서는 안 되는 결정을 하도록 강요했기 때문이라고 쓴 적이 있습니다.

그것을 바꾸기 위해 우리는 무엇을 하고 있습니까?

팟캐스트를 듣고 인도에서 고아를 돕는 것이 중요하고 관심이 필요하다는 것을 이해합니다. 인도에서 11년 동안 살면서 고아원을 방문하면서 알았습니다.

모든 아이를 돌보는 것이 중요하다고 생각합니다. 하지만 그 일에는 왜 그들을 가족과 분리시키는 것이 포함됩니까? 단순히 보살핌을 받기 위해 왜 아이가 첫 번째 및 생물학적 부모 및 가족(확대친족 포함)과의 모든 법적 유대를 잃어야 합니까?

그리고 가장 중요한 것은, 진정한 뿌리를 알고 싶어하는 이제 성인이 된 "사회적 고아"를 위해 우리는 무엇을 하고 있습니까? 우리의 조상, 역사 등에 대한 접근

인도에서 입양에 대해 계속 듣고 있는 이 낙인과 금기를 어떻게 제거할 수 있습니까?

제목에서 알 수 있듯이 Poulomi는 인도의 고아가 두 번 고아가 된다고 말합니다. "한번은 부모의 고아가 됨으로써, 한번은 국가의 고아가 되거나 법의 고아가 됨으로써."

저 같은 해외입양인들에게는 인도가 저를 다른 나라 문제로 보냈을 때 세 번째로 저를 버린 것 같았습니다.

저를 인도의 "사회적 고아" 중 하나로 만든 불행하고 부당한 상황은 저를 입양의 길로 인도했습니다.

그리고 입양됨으로써 내 선택이 취소되었을 뿐만 아니라 내 뿌리를 찾을 기회도 사라졌습니다. 

Kris의 자세한 내용은 최신 블로그를 확인하세요. Kris는 입양인의 분노에 대해 공유합니다.

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