Life for me as an adoptee has had many hurts such as rejection, loss of identity, racism, the divorce of my adoptive parents, abuse and so on. So as a protective mechanism I’ve built this imaginary wall around myself. I’ve done this to protect myself from more hurts, brick by brick. Over the years I`ve built it up and it’s “protected” me ever since. Unfortunately doing this has not allowed the real me to shine through (whatever the real me is). Why?? It’s because I’m scared to allow the real me to be seen in case I get hurt again. If only all these hurts didn’t happen in the first place (Ha! not likely when I’m Asian and adopted).
I`ve tried to explain my situation to other people but they don’t understand me nor how I feel. No matter how hard I try the wall won’t come down. I don’t think non-adoptees really understand the trauma and pain that adopted people go through (am I right in saying this?)
Until the day comes when my “wall” comes down, it will keep going up and up.
PERFECT ISOLATION IN BEHIND MY WALL
Quote from Roger Waters lead singer from Pink Floyd.
Do you think I speak for many adoptees here?