Ande shares about Adoptee Anger

by Ande Stanley, born in the UK and adopted to the USA.

This is a series on Adoptee Anger from lived experience, to help people understand what is beneath the surface and why adoptees can sometimes seem angry.

Was I ever an angry adoptee? Yes. I still am. My therapist says anger is a normal response to being lied to and manipulated. But I am a late discovery adoptee. I can’t say how I would feel if I had known all along. I think there would still have been some anger because of all of the lies I discovered had been told about my adoption by my families of origin.

I also kind of believe that there is a righteous anger that is appropriate when it comes to adoption. I wish my families were willing to at least try to look at my feelings through my lens, instead of fighting so hard to maintain their own narratives. I am expected to see theirs, yet they refuse to even try to see mine.

You can read more from Ande at The Adoption Files blog and Spotify podcast.

Één reactie op “Ande shares about Adoptee Anger”

  1. I so understand. My birthmother kept her other 3 children. Don’t get me wrong I was raised with a great family. But always have that empty spot. Some people just don’t get it being adopted. It’s a struggle for me sometimes with others. Thank you for sharing.

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