Liebes Korea, Über Mia*

*Name has been changed to protect identity

von kim thompson / 김종예 born in South Korea, adopted to the USA, Co-Founder of Der universelle Asiate

This article was written for Finding the Truth of 372 Overseas Adoptees from Korea published in Korean

Artwork: Gone But Not Forgotten by Amelia Reimer

Dear Korea,

I want to tell you all about my friend Mia, but I am limited in how I can tell you her story as she is no longer here and cannot give consent to my re-telling of what is hers and hers alone.

And so, Korea, I will tell you about my experience and observations of her and of our friendship.

Mia was a fellow adoptee and my friend. We met in your city of Seoul around 2013 or 2014. I was in my fifth year of living there. Mia was, as is the case for many adoptees in Seoul, trying to learn your language and doing various freelance jobs related to writing and teaching English, as well as working as a journalist for publications in the country she had been adopted to and raised in. She was an immensely talented writer and photographer.

Mia was quirky. For example, she loved marshmallows more than any child or adult I have ever met. She loved them to the point of ecstasy–we used to laugh at how deliriously happy it made her to roast a marshmallow on a rotating spit over hot coals where we’d previously been cooking our 양꼬치 (lamb skewers). Mia was her own unique self. When it came to your food and cafes, Mia loved everything about you, but the fact that you could get marshmallows from 다이소 made her love you even more, even if they weren’t (according to her) quite the same as she could get in the country where she’d been raised. She laughingly said it made her life with you that much easier.

Mia was funny, kind, thoughtful, and incredibly generous both with her time and money. She once hunted down and gifted my then-partner and myself with two specialty sakés from Yoshida Brewery because we had told her how much we loved the documentary The Birth of Saké. She cared deeply for others, freely and easily expressed gratitude, and was just an all-around fun person to hang out with. She had a laugh that I can still easily recall.

Mia loved the band 넬(Nell) and used to, needlessly, thank me constantly for “introducing” them to her. “They’re sooooooo good~~~” she’d earnestly exclaim when talking about an album of theirs she’d been listening to on repeat. She was an intelligent, articulate, and creative mind who had a delightful hunger for life, art, travel, new experiences, and good food… and marshmallows.

Mia also had a very deep awareness and understanding of her mental health struggles and was as proactive as one could be about working to be healthy. She sought out the professional help she needed. She used her very real diagnosed depression as a positive in that she allowed it to make her an even more empathetic being, which was so evidenced in her professional career as a journalist and how she conducted her personal relationships. Mia had lived through traumas and tragedies that are all too common for adoptees and had profound sorrows and losses.

Korea, I am writing to tell you that Mia was such a good friend to many, including myself. She was genuinely interested in and curious about the lives of those around her. When one was with Mia, one felt seen, heard, loved, and cared for.

Four years have passed since she took her life, and I still and shall always love and miss her.

Something else I can tell you, Korea, with as much certainty as possible, is that if the adoption agency through whom she was exported from knew of her suicide they would quickly blame her adopters, her circumstances, her environment, her traumas, her mental health, and Mia herself. They would never think to own their responsibility in being the root cause for all of the “reasons” for why she felt she could no longer stay in her life or this world.

Korea, chances are, the agency would tell you that while it’s an unfortunate reality that “every so often” “bad” adopters manage to get through their system–that it’s a “rarity.” They would dig their heels in, feigning willful ignorance and dismissal over the well-researched and known statistic that adoptees are four times more likely to attempt or commit suicide than non-adoptees. They would tell you that they are not to be held accountable for Mia’s mental health, and that she should have gotten the help she needed. They would say that what happened to her is too bad, and I do not doubt that they would mean it, but they would in the same breath tell you that none of this is their fault.

And yet, Korea, it was the agency that placed Mia in the family she was raised in via a system that has been empowered and enabled on both societal and governmental levels to prioritize and value financial gain over keeping children with their ummas and appas. Mia’s physical and emotional safety and support she needed were not prioritized, nor were they valued.

The responsibility for her mental and physical wellness was placed directly onto her shoulders. The responsibility for her surviving her childhood; learning how to thrive; and later, as an adult, trying to adapt to life in Korea; to explore and embrace her cultural and racial identity; to try and learn the language; and to search or not to search for her first family were also all placed directly onto her shoulders. Mia’s birthright to family, culture, and identity had been sold right from under her without her consent when she was a baby, and she was then left to pay the price for someone else’s immense financial profit.

Dear Korea, I want… I need you to know that Mia, like so many adoptees including me, had to constantly navigate statements from the agency, adopters, and non-adoptees like: “You sound so bitter and angry. You should be more grateful.” “Your life is so much better than if you’d grown up an orphan in South Korea.” “You don’t know how poor South Korea was.” “You’re so lucky to have been raised in the West. Your life is so much better.”

I need you to know… to feel… to somehow understand that no matter how emotionally or mentally strong or proactive we as adoptees are in advocating for ourselves, no matter how “perfect” some of our adoptive parents might be, these kinds of statements, which embody attitudes and perceptions of denial, dismissal, and diminishing, take a toll on our mental health. They are forms of what is now known as “gas lighting.” They can cause us to question our sanity, goodness, love, gratitude, self, and sense of worth. They make us feel like we really might be ungrateful, unloving human beings who should be good with not knowing our parents, our ancestral roots, language, or culture because: “We got to grow up in the ‘rich’ West.” These are things that no adoptee I have ever known, myself included, is truly equipped to handle, and yet the responsibility to do so, is always on us.

I think about how all of this must have worn Mia down. I think about how even though she knew on an intellectual level that her traumas were never her fault, she bore the emotional toll.

Dear Korea, when Mia took her life, your citizens did not wail aloud in the streets wearing black and white. The adoption agencies operating on your soil that to this day export children to the West for financial profit did not fall to their knees asking the gods and Mia’s soul for forgiveness.

The ones who were wailing, the ones left falling to their knees under the gut-wrenching sorrow and ache of Mia’s suicide were and remain the same ones who also live as survivors of adoption–us adoptees. You see, when any one of our 200,000 is lost to suicide or addiction or abuse, the loss is deep and the loss is a collective and a permanent one. Four years later, and I still feel the absence of her presence not just in my life, but also in this world.

I am writing you Korea, because it is imperative that you always remember that Mia’s decision to end her life was not her fault. Yes, she made that choice at the very end, but in so many ways that choice had been made for her the day her agency got their hands on her and sold and sent her away from your shores to her adopters.

Yes, it’s true that chances are, Mia would have always struggled with aspects of her mental health even if she’d been able to grow up in the family and place that was rightfully hers. But, I am also confident in saying that her taking her life in her late 30s most likely would not have happened because she would not have had any of the traumas inflicted by coerced abandonment and adoption to carry in her heart that was too big and beautiful for this world.

When Mia died, not only did I lose a dear friend, we the collective of adoptees lost yet another of ours, and whether one can or wants to see this or not–you, my beloved South Korea, you lost a great woman, a great creative mind, a great friend, a great daughter, a great sister, a great aunt, a great partner, a great heart, and a great Korean who had all the potential to significantly contribute to the richness of your literature, arts, and culture.

But more than anything dearest Korea, when Mia lost her life to the wounds and traumas of adoption inflicted on her by her agency, you lost one of your children.

Ressourcen

Intercountry Adoption and Suicide: A Scoping Review

Internationale Konferenz zur Überprüfung und Gewährleistung der Menschenrechte koreanischer Adoptierter im Ausland (Englisch – Koreanische Übersetzung, Forschungsüberblick über die größte Studie zu koreanischen Auslandsadoptierten)

Internationale Denkmäler für Adoptierte

Forschung zu Adoptierten und Selbstmord

Adoptierte und Selbstmordrisiko

RU-OK-Tag? – Es ist an der Zeit, über Adoptierte und Suizidversuche zu sprechen

Dezember 15, 2022Mai 18, 2023

Umgang mit Behinderungen und seltenen Erkrankungen als internationaler Adoptierter

Webinar, Perspektivpapier und Ressourcen

Am 23. November veranstaltete ICAV ein Webinar mit 6 unglaublichen Diskussionsteilnehmern, die ihre Erfahrungen als internationale Adoptierte mit Behinderungen und seltenen Erkrankungen austauschten.

Ich hoffe, dass Sie sich die Zeit nehmen, zuzuhören. Adoptierte mit Behinderungen und Erkrankungen sind in der internationalen Adoptiertengemeinschaft oft unsichtbar. Unser Ziel war es, sie zu fördern und das Bewusstsein für die zusätzlichen Komplexitäten zu schärfen, denen sie ausgesetzt sind.

Hinweis: Wenn Sie es in Chrome ansehen, klicken Sie auf die Schaltfläche „Mehr erfahren“, um das Video anzusehen

Webinar-Video-Timecode

Für diejenigen, die wenig Zeit haben, habe ich eine bereitgestellt Zeitcode damit Sie genau die Teile sehen können, die Sie hören möchten.

00:00:25 Willkommen – Lynelle Long

00:03:51 Anerkennung des Landes – Mallika Macleod

00:05:15 Diskussionsteilnehmer Einführung

00:05:31 Maddy Ullmann

00:07:07 Wes Liu

00:09:32 Farnad Darnell

00:11:08 Emma Pham

00:12:07 Daniel N. Price

00:13:19 Mallika Macleod

00:15:19 Die sich ändernde Definition von Behinderung – Farnad Darnell

00:17:58 Umformulierung, wie Adoptierte mit Behinderungen gesehen werden können – Mallika Macleod

00:20:39 Scham und Zerbrochenheit verarbeiten, die oft damit verbunden sind, adoptiert zu werden und mit einer Behinderung zu leben – Wes Liu

00:23:34 Umgang mit den Reaktionen und Erwartungen der Menschen – Maddy Ullman

00:28:44 Zugehörigkeitsgefühl und wie es beeinflusst wurde – Emma Pham

00:30:14 Navigieren im Gesundheitssystem – Daniel N Price

00:31:58 Was geholfen hat, das Leben mit Behinderung zu bewältigen – Mallika Macleod

00:35:58 Wie eine Behinderung das Wiedersehen noch komplizierter machen könnte – Maddy Ullman

00:39:44 Die Dynamik zwischen Adoptiveltern und dem, was ideal ist – Wes Liu

00:42:48 Selbstmordrisiko verhindern – Daniel N Price

00:44:26 Kinder, die wegen ihrer Behinderung per internationaler Adoption ins Ausland geschickt werden – Farnad Darnell

00:47:09 Was Menschen beachten müssen, wenn sie mit „guten Absichten“ ein Kind mit Behinderung adoptieren – Emma Pham

00:50:13 Wie sich die Erfahrung, sich isoliert zu fühlen, im Laufe der Zeit verändert hat – Wes Liu

00:53:25 Die Rolle der Genetik bei ihren Erkrankungen – Maddy Ullman

00:56:35 Was bei beruflichen Herausforderungen funktioniert hat – Mallika Macleod

00:59:11 Selbstständig und unabhängig werden – Emma Pham

01:02:42 Vorschläge für Adoptiveltern – Daniel N Price

01:03:48 Vorschläge für Adoptionsexperten zur besseren Vorbereitung von Adoptiveltern – Farnad Darnell

01:06:20 Wie Adoptivfamilien am besten diskutieren können, ob Behinderung der Grund für die Aufgabe war – Farnad Darnell

Zusammenfassung der wichtigsten Botschaften des Webinars

Klicken Hier für ein PDF-Dokument, das die wichtigsten Botschaften jedes Diskussionsteilnehmers und den passenden Zeitcode für das Webinar-Video enthält.

ICAV-Perspektivpapier

Für diejenigen, die tiefer eintauchen und dieses Thema weiter erforschen möchten, haben wir auch unsere neuesten zusammengestellt ICAV-Perspektivpapier die du lesen kannst Hier. Es ist eine Zusammenstellung gelebter Erfahrungsperspektiven, die einen seltenen Einblick in das Leben eines Dutzend internationaler Adoptierter bietet, die mit einer Behinderung und seltenen Erkrankungen leben. Zusammen füllen diese Ressourcen des Webinars und des Perspektivenpapiers eine große Wissenslücke über diese Untergruppe innerhalb der internationalen Gemeinschaft von Adoptierten. Ich hoffe, dass dies den Beginn weiterer Diskussionen und Foren anregt, die dazu beitragen sollen, das Bewusstsein zu schärfen und eine bessere Unterstützung für und innerhalb der Community zu schaffen.

Ich möchte besonders darauf aufmerksam machen, dass im Rahmen des ausführlichen Austauschs unseres Perspektivpapiers und des Webinars zahlreiche Beiträge geleistet wurden Erwähnungen des erhöhten Risikos von Suizid, Depression und Isolation. Wir müssen mehr tun, um unsere Mitadoptierten besser zu unterstützen, die am stärksten gefährdet sind, wenn sie mit Behinderungen und Krankheiten leben.

Fotografie mit freundlicher Genehmigung von Maddy Ullman und Wes Liu

Wenn Sie zusätzliche Ressourcen haben, die helfen können, auf dem aufzubauen, was wir begonnen haben, bitte Wenden Sie sich an ICAV oder fügen Sie Ihren Kommentar zu diesem Beitrag hinzu, damit ich diese Liste weiter unten erweitern kann.

Zusätzliche Ressourcen

Seltene Krankheit

#Rreis : Lernen Sie Daniel N Price kennen – ein Anwalt für seltene Krankheiten und ein internationaler Adoptierter

In Liebe August (Auslandsadoptierter August Rocha, ein behinderter Transmann mit einer seltenen Krankheit)

Diagnostische Odyssee mit August Roche (behinderter transnationaler Adoptierter mit seltener Krankheit)

Es war einmal ein Gen – Internationale Adoption seltener Krankheiten mit Josh und Monica Poynter (Podcast)

#Rreis: Noras ewiges Zuhause – ein Adoptivkind mit einer seltenen Krankheit

Der Podcast zu seltenen Erkrankungen

Selten im Common (Dokumentarfilm über Betroffene seltener Erkrankungen)

Seltene Krankheiten International

Enola : eine Anwendung von Medizinische Intelligenz Eins das hilft, seltene Krankheiten zu diagnostizieren, frei verfügbar

One Rare – Junge Erwachsene, die von einer seltenen Krankheit betroffen sind und ins Erwachsenenalter übergehen

Klinisches Forschungsnetzwerk für seltene Krankheiten

Globale Gene – Verbündete bei seltenen Krankheiten

Behinderung

Adoptierte mit Behinderungen (FB-Gruppe)

Internationale Adoptierte mit Behinderungen (FB-Gruppe)

Neurodivergenter Adoptierter (FB-Seite der international adoptierten Jodi Gibson Moore)

Wir alle haben die Macht – Marusha Rowe (Anwältin für Zerebralparese und internationale Adoptierte)

Gewalt, Missbrauch, Vernachlässigung und Ausbeutung von Adoptierten mit Behinderung : Vorlage der Australian Disability Royal Commission durch ICAV

Unsichtbarkeit(en) Sitzung Fünf (Video, geführt von der einheimischen Adoptierten Nicole Rademacher, die die Adoptivkünstler Anu Annam, Jessica Oler und Caleb Yee interviewt, um herauszufinden, wie ihre Kunst mit ihrer Behinderung zusammenhängt)

Eine Einführung zu Behinderungen: Zurückfordern, sich vorstellen, Veränderungen schaffen (Konferenzaufzeichnung, Nov. 2022)

Unfixiert – Austausch von Geschichten von Menschen, die mit chronischen Krankheiten und Behinderungen leben

Chronisch fähig – für Arbeitsuchende mit chronischen Krankheiten und Behinderungen

Transitions of Care – Kinderneurologie (Hilfe beim Übergang von der Kinder- zur Erwachsenenversorgung)

Die Caregiver-Reihe (Videos, für Adoptiveltern)

Sing mir eine Geschichte (Geschichten und Lieder für Kinder in Not)

Wasserscheide-DNA (Unterstützung und Anleitung, um denjenigen zu helfen, ihre DNA-Ergebnisse zu verstehen)

Easterseals Disability Film Challenge (Änderung der Art und Weise, wie die Welt Behinderung sieht und definiert)

Familienfitness: Behinderung, Adoption und Familie im modernen Amerika

Oktober 5, 2022Oktober 1, 2022

Selbstmord unter Adoptierten

von Hilbrand Wester, born in South Korea and adopted to the Netherlands, founder of Adoptee & Foster Care (AFC) Netherlands

ATTENTION TO SUICIDE AMONGST ADOPTEES

Five times higher than average

Hardly anyone really wants to know, and people don’t talk about it easily, let alone the adoptees’ attention when it happens. Usually the attention goes to the #adoptiveparents and the adoptees are often alone in the rain.

Last week was the book launch of adoptive mother Rini van Dam’s book #donderdagen in Sneek. Speakers’ introductions rightly focused on the author, of course, but one of the topics why the book was created was Sannison’s death. A fellow Korean adoptee who ended her life before she was 17 and her funeral service was on November five, my birthday. She had just broken up with a fellow adoptee shortly before. It was 1991, the year when association for adopted Koreans, Arierang, held its first major national meeting. The year where loves both blossomed and burst apart. The year I became aware of what and pain and sorrow lurked beneath us all.

Two years later, Julia, a Korean adoptee from Belgium who left life just before she turned 21, died and her funeral service was on 5 November, my birthday. Her adoptive parents, however, did not want adoptees at the funeral service.

A few years later, I would lose my own sister, Joo Min, while stationed as a UN soldier in Bosnia. We don’t really know why she chose to save two boys in their fall in the French Italian Alps when she must have known it would be fatal for her herself.

Yesterday, I was reminded of the above. A painful but perhaps the most necessary confrontation with my personal history to learn through this hard road that I could no longer look away from my inner development. Since then, I have been working hard for the suffering of adoptees around the world. But instead of praise and support, I received threats and angry adoptive parents in my path. Some even threatened to want to kill me. But angry adoptees and #scientists, especially from the Netherlands, also tried to take my message off the air. Until the Swedish research by Anders Hjern, Frank Lindblad, Bo Vinnerljung came out in 2002 and substantiated my experiences and suspicions.

Existential trauma to suicide shows a relationship with the tearing process created by relinquishment and #adoption. Since then, such outcomes have surfaced all over the world except in the Netherlands. The Netherlands still likes to indulge in the Walt Disney story and any contrary noise about this phenomenon is conveniently dismissed by statistical research, which, although Evidence Based accredited, manages to conveniently dismiss this issue.

Science prefers to leave the suffering of many adoptees to themselves because what doesn’t show up in the statistics doesn’t exist according to the government and adoption agencies.

Original auf Niederländisch

AANDACHT VOOR #ZELFDODING ONDER #GEADOPTEERDEN

Vijf keer hoger dan gemiddeld

Bijna niemand wil het echt weten, en men spreekt er niet makkelijk over, laat staan dat de geadopteerden de aandacht krijgen als het gebeurt. Meestal gaat de aandacht naar de #adoptieouders en staan de geadopteerden vaak alleen in de regen.

Gisteren was de boekuitreiking van het boek #donderdagen van adoptiemoeder Rini van Dam in Sneek. De inleidingen van sprekers waren natuurlijk terecht gericht op de schrijfster, maar een van de onderwerpen waarom het boek is ontstaan is de dood van Sannison. Een mede Koreaanse geadopteerde die voor haar 17e een eind maakte aan haar leven en haar rouwdienst was op vijf november, mijn verjaardag. Ze had kort daarvoor net de prille verkering met een medegeadopteerde uitgemaakt. Het was 1991, het jaar dat vereniging voor geadopteerde Koreanen, Arierang, haar eerste grote landelijke bijeenkomst achter de rug had. Het jaar waar zowel liefdes opbloeiden, maar ook uit elkaar spatten. Het jaar dat ik mij gewaar werd welk en pijn en verdriet onder ons allen schuil ging.

Twee jaar later, overleed Julia, een Koreaanse geadopteerde uit België die net voor haar 21e het leven verliet en haar rouwdienst was op vijf november, mijn verjaardag. Haar adoptieouders echter wilden geen geadopteerden bij de rouwdienst.

Enkele jaren later zou ik mijn eigen zus, Joo Min, verliezen terwijl ik gestationeerd was als VN soldaat in Bosnië. We weten niet echt waarom ze verkoos om twee jongens in hun val in de Frans Italiaanse Alpen te redden terwijl ze geweten moet hebben dat het haar zelf noodlottig zou worden.

Gisteren werd ik aan het bovenstaande herinnerd. Een pijnlijke, maar wellicht de meest noodzakelijke confrontatie met mijn persoonlijke historie om via deze harde weg te leren dat ik niet langer weg kon kijken van mijn innerlijke ontwikkeling. Sindsdien heb ik mij hard gemaakt voor het leed van geadopteerden over de hele wereld. Maar inplaats van lof en ondersteuning ontving ik bedreigingen en boze adoptieouders op mijn pad. Sommigen dreigden mij zelfs om te willen brengen. Maar ook boze geadopteerden en #wetenschappers, vooral uit Nederland, probeerden mijn boodschap uit de lucht te halen. Totdat het Zweedse onderzoek van Anders Hjern, Frank Lindblad, Bo Vinnerljung in 2002 uitkwam en mijn ervaringen en vermoedens staafde.

Het existentiële trauma tot zelfdoding laat een relatie zien met het verscheurende proces dat ontstaat door afstand en #adoptie. Sindsdien zijn over de hele wereld dergelijke uitkomsten opgedoken behalve in Nederland. Nederland laaft zich nog graag aan het Walt Disney verhaal en elk tegengesteld geluid over dit fenomeen wordt handig weggewerkt door statistisch onderzoek, dat weliswaar Evidence Based geaccrediteerd is, maar dit onderwerp handig weet weg te werken.

De wetenschap laat het lijden van veel geadopteerden liever aan henzelf over want wat niet in de statistieken opduikt bestaat niet volgens de overheid en de hulpverlening.

Ressourcen

ICAVs Memorial Page with Suicide Awareness links and other resources on this topic

September 7, 2022September 7, 2022

Das Gefühl, nirgendwo dazuzugehören

Michelle ist eine unserer eloquentesten Adoptierten in der Welt Videoserie. Sie geht so offen und ehrlich mit den Herausforderungen um, und ich liebe ihren Mut, über die Themen zu sprechen, die bei der Adoption am meisten verborgen bleiben – Essstörungen und Selbstmordversuche und was ihnen zugrunde liegt; und der Kampf darum, einen Platz zu finden, zu dem wir gehören, und das Bedürfnis, die Wahrheit über unsere Herkunft zu erfahren.

Klicken Sie auf Michelles Bild, um ihr Video anzuhören.

Ressourcen

Lesen Sie Michelles andere Blogs: Mutter Und Brief an Präsident Moon.

Adoptierte Familien und Genesung von Essstörungen

Risiko von Essstörungen bei internationalen Adoptierten: eine Kohortenstudie unter Verwendung schwedischer nationaler Bevölkerungsregister

Essstörungen bei adoptierten Kindern

Habe ich eine Essstörung?

Verhaltenssymptome von Essstörungen bei adoptierten Jugendlichen und jungen Erwachsenen in den Vereinigten Staaten: Ergebnisse der Add Health-Umfrage

Der Zusammenhang zwischen Kindheitstrauma und Essstörungen

Adoption und Essstörungen: Eine Hochrisikogruppe?

Bindungsprobleme, die zu Essstörungen beitragen können

Dezember 31, 2021Dezember 31, 2021

Eine Mahnwache für Christian Hall, 1 Jahr danach

On 30 December 2021, 7-9pm CST we gathered in social media application, Clubhouse to participate in an online vigil, created and led by Vietnamese adoptee Adam Chau. The event was organised in conjunction with Christian Hall’s family who created the physical in-person vigils at various cities around the USA. The purpose of the vigils was to honour Christian’s life, raise awareness about and bring the impacted communities together in solidarity to seek Justice for Christian Hall. You can read their latest articles Hier Und Hier.

A number of adoptee guests were invited to share our thoughts for the online vigil: Kev Minh Allen (Vietnamese American adoptee), Lynelle Lang (Vietnamese Australian adoptee), Kayla Zheng (Chinese American adoptee), Lee Herrick (Korean American adoptee).

I share with you what I spoke about in honour of Christian Hall.

My name is Lynelle Long, I’m the founder of Intercountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV). I’d like to thank you Adam Chau for organising this online event today in honour of Christian. Thankyou Nicole, Christian’s cousin who is on our call, for allowing us to join in with this vigil. I’m so sorry for your family’s loss! It’s a privilege to be able to speak. I am a person with lived experience of intercountry adoption and like Christian Hall, I am of Chinese descent … except I was born in Vietnam and adopted to Australia, whereas he was born in China and adopted to the USA.

The common thread that unites me with Christian Hall is that we both experienced abandonment as an infant. No matter what age we are, for an adoptee, loss of our first family as abandonment/relinquishment is a raw and painfully traumatic experience. It stays with us throughout life in the form of bodily sensations and gets easily triggered. When this happens, these sensations flood our body as fear, panic, anxiety.

Worse still is that when our abandonment occurs as an infant, we have not developed a language as a way to understand our experience. We are simply left with pre-verbal feelings (bodily sensations). It took me over 20 years until I read the first book, The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier which changed my life in terms of coming to understand how abandonment and adoption had impacted me. That book was the first to help give words to the experience I felt up until then, as an entirely somatic experience, as uncomfortable sensations in my body, that I hadn’t understood, which I’d spent my life running away from every time they re-emerged.

The other common thread that unites me with Christian Hall is that we both experienced suicidal ideation and attempts. For him, it tragically meant the end of his life by police officers who did not understand his traumas. For me, after numerous failed attempts and ending up in ER, it meant a long process of awakening to the trauma I had lived. 20+ years later, I have spent most of this time helping to awaken our society to what adoption is really about for us, the adopted person.

Being adopted never leaves us. We might try to escape and pretend that it has no impact but deep down to our core, our abandonment wires almost every aspect of our being – most importantly, how we connect or not to others around us and to ourselves. At its core, intercountry adoptees experience loss of identity, race and culture. Unless we have supports around us that understand and help us to overcome the trauma of abandonment early on, we stumble in the dark, completely unaware of how our abandonment impacts us. Many adoptees call it “being in the fog” until we become awakened. Today, decades after Nancy Verrier first wrote her amazing book, we now have many, many books written by adoptees who are THE experts of our own lived experience. These books are a written testament to the complexities we live through adoption and how this impact us.

In the past 2 months, I have worked with others to speak out about the impacts of abandonment and adoption trauma and the direct connection to risk of suicide. I acknowledge that Christian’s family do not relate his tragic death to suicide, but I suspect his feelings of abandonment were triggered as key events led to him being on the bridge that day. I hope that more adoptive families will educate themselves about the complexities we live as people who get disconnected from our origins via intercountry adoption. There are almost 2 million of us worldwide and we are speaking out en-masse to help the world understand it is not a rainbows and unicorns experience. We require lifelong supports from professionals who are trauma and adoption trained. In America alone, there are hundreds of thousands of intercountry adoptees – America remains the biggest receiving country in the world. Too many are struggling emotionally every day, yet in the USA, there is still no free national counselling service for intercountry adoptees and their families. There is also NO national post adoption support centre in the USA funded to help intercountry adoptees grow into adulthood and beyond. Isn’t it a huge shortcoming that the largest importer of children in the world has no lifelong supports fully funded, equitable, freely accessible – how can America expect positive outcomes for children who are amongst the most vulnerable if we don’t fund what we know they need?

I never knew Christian personally. I only discovered him through his death. I wish I had known him. From the many intercountry adoptees I connect to, I know we gain so much emotionally from being connected to others just like us. Being connected to our peers helps reduce those feelings of isolation, helps us understand we aren’t the only ones to experience life this way, helps connect us to sources of support and validation that we know has worked. I wish Christian had met our community. I’ll never know if it would have made the difference so that he wasn’t there that day on that bridge. As an adoptee, I suspect Christian most likely wanted help that day, help to ease his hurting soul, not death.

Also, let’s take a moment to remember his biological family in China. Whether they ever truly had a choice in his relinquishment, we’ll probably never know but from my knowledge in this field, it’s most likely not. Christian’s adoption was likely the result of the 1-Child Policy era in China where thousands of families were forced to relinquish their children, many of them ending up intercountry adopted like Christian. Please take a moment to consider that through adoption, his biological family don’t even have the right to know that he has passed away.

The travesty in adoption is that trauma is experienced by all in the triad (the adoptee, the adoptive family, the biological family) yet the traumas continue to go largely unrecognised and unsupported in both our adoptive and birth countries. We must do better to prevent the unnecessary separation of families, and where adoption is needed, ensure that families undertake adoption education, learning about its complexities in full and having free equitable access for life to the professional supports needed.

My huge thanks to his extended and immediate family for being brave and opening themselves up thru all this trauma and allow these vigils where his life and death can be honoured for the greater good. I honour the pain and loss they’ve lived and thank them immensely for allowing our intercountry adoptee community to join in with them in support.

Thank you.

If you would like to support Christian’s family and their push for justice, please sign the petition Hier.

If you would like to better understand the complexities involved in intercountry adoption as experienced by adoptees, our Video-Ressource is a great place to start. Wouldn’t it be amazing to create a resource like this to help educate first responders to better understand the mental health crises that adoptees experience.

Dezember 21, 2021November 26, 2021

Toxicity and Grief

von Dan R. Moen, adopted from the Philippines to the USA.

Part three of this series focuses on toxicity and its impact with grief. The black vine-like shapes represent toxicity and how it manifests itself within and around all of us. It’s depicted as an uncontrollable beast and has completely engulfed an individual. It grows and flourishes when grief isn’t addressed, resources for healing aren’t in place or utilised, and when one feels like giving up. The vine-like creature wraps itself around the other gentleman and is trying to pull him down along with the other person. He is desperately trying to grab the hanging fruit, representing hope. Loosely inspired by the mythology of Tantalus, he is just out of reach of the fruit, but the toxicity is pulling him away. Intertwined in the vines is various stressors that give the vine-like creature it’s power. Phrases like Covid-19, Trump, gun violence, Biden, divorce, and other phrases fuel this creature – and when not dealt with, allows for it to become stronger.

In the left, the arm is representing suicide; depicting how all these stressors can manifest itself into the toxicity of the vine-like creature and how it now has grown barbs. Wrapping itself around the arm of the gentleman, it cuts deep and creates unearthly pain. The blood drips and fuels the stressors on the ground, once again igniting the cycle and power of the vine-like creature.

Check out Dan’s other two paintings within this series Grieving the Child of the Past Und Does My Perspective Matter?

To find out more about Dan and and his work, check out his Webseite.

Juni 30, 2021Juni 30, 2021

Entmystifizierung der Stigmatisierung des Suizids von Adoptierten

By Lina Vanegas, MSW and adopted from Colombia to the USA.

It is shameful that suicide is so highly stigmatized by society. Religion and the law have contributed to the stigmazitization of suicide. The law has perpetuated their stances by creating laws that make suicide illegal. There are 26 countries where suicide is currently illegal including Kenya, Bahamas and Jordan. It is completely wrong to criminalize, shame and stigmatize people who are struggling and suffering. Religion and the law are not the only institutions or systems to do this but I use them as an example to demonstrate how much impact they have on society. All of these thoughts are absorbed by society which doesn’t inspire or create empathy, compassion or understanding for people who are suffering.

The shame and stigmatization around suicide is evident in the language that we use to discuss suicide. When we say “committed suicide” we are likening it to a crime. It’s truly not a crime. We do not say a person “committed” cancer, a heart attack, a stroke, or Covid, We do say someone “committed” murder, a robbery, an assault, or rape. Those are crimes.. The crime around suicide is that someone died because they were struggling so much internally, mentally, and emotionally. Let’s also stop saying they “killed themself.” What killed that person was a mental health struggles and they died by suicide. It is essential that we create a paradigm shift where we lead with empathy, compassion and understanding.

When people use this terminology, they are stigmatizing suicide. A person who died by suicide has friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances and loved ones. When they hear this choice of words it hurts them—and they are already grappling with the stigmatization of a suicide death. You may know them, but they will probably not talk to you about their loss after they hear you use such hurtful and insensitive language.

Western society stigmatizes and shames those who struggle with mental health issues and mental illness. There are a myriad of expressions and things that use suicide in the name/title that are offensive and cruel to those who have (or are) struggling with suicidal thought/ideations, have attempted suicide, and for those of us who have lost a loved one to suicide. People will use the expression quite freely “I am going to kill myself” and “I will just kill myself” and “Go kill yourself.” These are daggers for those who have been impacted by suicide. These comments are completely tone deaf, insensitive and cruel, and reflect the general lack of understanding and empathy around suicide.

We need to make the discussion around adoptee suicide an ongoing and regular conversation. It is not enough for us to talk about it sporadically. This conversation needs to be had three hundred and sixty five days a year. Adoptees are struggling and suffering twenty four hours, seven days a week and three hundred and sixty five days a year. The statistic that adoptees are 4 times more likely to attempt suicide is from research published in 2013 by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

We need current research done on adoptees all over the world. I am writing from the United States so the ideal organizations to fund and conduct this are the American foundation for Suicide Prevention and the American Association of Suicidology. These studies would help inform prevention, awareness and education. Until society realizes the mental health crisis that adoptees are facing, we will continue to be struggling in silence. We are an invisible and oppressed community literally fighting for our lives. We desperately need support and suicide prevention.

I wanted to pay tribute and honor the two adoptees that have died this month. They were both transracial intercountry adoptees. It’s is key to highlight that there is a link between this and mental health struggles, racism and suicide. Many of us experience microaggressions and racism due to us not being white. These experiences impact our mental health . Adoptive parents have no idea what this is like as they do not experience this incidents and many prefer not to see our race so that does nothing to help us. Some adoptive parents perpetuate racism and microagressions which take a toll on our mental health.

Alejandro Gobright died June 2. He was adopted from Guatemala to the United States. He is described from a tribute I read as “a great singer, poet and incredible friend.”

Seid Visin died June 4. He was adopted from Ethiopia to Italy. He played at the youth academies of AC Milan and Benevento. He explained in a letter before his suicide death how he was suffering from constant racial abuse and treatment. It is essential to point out that his adopted father went out of his way to point out after Seid’s death that racism did not play a role in his death. This is a clear example of an adoptive parent ignoring, not listening and not wanting to deal with the struggles Seid was dealing with.

I am extremely sad and angry every time I write about adoptee suicides. These deaths impact the entire adoptee community. Alejandro and Seid are a part of all of us. There are roughly five to seven million adoptees in the world and it’s time that we begin to talk about adoptee suicide.

Read Lina’s other articles on Adoptee Suicide, Teil 1 & Teil 2.

Other Resources on Adoptee Suicide

Umgang mit dem Suizid von Adoptierten
ICAVs Memorial Page
Gedenktag der Adoptierten
Es ist eine Schwarze Woche für Adoptierte in Europa
In Erinnerung an Seid Visin

Mai 25, 2021Mai 27, 2021

Umgang mit dem Verlust durch Adoption Selbstmord

von Lina Vanegas adopted from Colombia to the USA, MSW.

I have lost two people in my life to suicide, the father of my children who was also my ex-husband and my mom. The father of my children was adopted and my mom was impacted by adoption because she lost me to adoption. Both of them sadly fit the statistics. Adoptees are four times more likely to attempt suicide. I would argue that moms (first mothers, original mothers, natural moms) also have high suicide attempt rates.

I am a transracial and intercountry adoptee who was adopted from Bogota, Colombia and have lived the majority of my life in Michigan in the United States. Suicide loss is a death like no other. It is not like a car accident, heart attack, or cancer where there is a clear explanation of how someone died. People who die by suicide are struggling immensely. There is no closure with this death. Suicide is also highly stigmatised, people do not want to talk about it, and many judge the death. Suicide loss for us as adoptees is further compounded and amplified with all of the loss and grief that we have already experienced and it can trigger many of the issues we suffer with related to adoption.

If you are reading this and have lost someone to suicide, I want you to know that you are not alone and that I am so sorry you are experiencing this horrendously painful loss. I also want you to know that it is not your fault. There is nothing you could have done or should have done. The person who died was in so much pain. You may also be reading this and have been shocked by the person’s death because you had no idea that they were suffering and maybe they seemed happy and like everything was okay. It is still not your fault. Please do not blame yourself or hold onto any guilt. It is extremely painful to know or learn that our loved one was suffering so much.

One thing that I have learned is that some days are harder than others. It has helped me to know that I can break up my days and I can take it moment to moment, minute to minute or hour to hour or one day at a time as the famous Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) slogan says. The first year for me was a complete blur. It seemed to drag on forever and I was in a hurry to put it all behind me because it was so painful and difficult. Honestly, I cannot remember much because I was in so much shock. Please be patient, kind and gentle with yourself if you have experienced a suicide loss. Suicide loss is such a painful and life changing loss. The first year of loss was really hard because everything becomes a first without them.

Some of the hardest days for me are, the person’s birthday, anniversary of their death and the holidays. I have learned to sit with my emotions and feel them. I give myself permission to cry and mourn if that is what needs to happen. If something was too hard, then I created a new tradition or decided not to do it. Then there are times where I just break down because something triggered me and I am back to feeling my grief. Grief is a journey, it ebbs and it flows. It is not linear and there is no expiration date. Please do not let anyone tell you differently or push you to get over it or heal in a certain amount of time. We all grieve differently and grief is not a one size fits all thing experience.

It has been a real journey for me to figure out ways to cope and begin to heal. Suicide loss has really changed the way that I have looked at life. I now see that life is short and fleeting and that each day is not promised. I have chosen to use the loss of my mother as momentum to help me live my life in honor of her. I strive to turn my pain into purpose, a path, and power. There have been many ways that I have found to help me cope which I want to share with you.

For me, sitting with my feelings and truly feeling them has been so helpful. Crying, bawling and literally losing my breath sobbing and having that deep soul cry have helped my grieve and mourn. Therapy has also been instrumental for me. It is really helpful to have a safe and non judgemental space that is just for me. It is important to find a therapist who works solely with trauma and ideally someone who is adoption competent. Many therapists honestly have not studied adoption so it is hard for them to truly understand us.

I am an avid reader and for me reading and researching gave me answers and helped me gain understanding. I threw myself into reading and researching suicide. For me it was important to understand suicide so that I could make sense of things. I read a lot from other suicide loss survivors which was really essential because I could relate to what they were saying and I could learn how they coped and healed. The other group that was really important to read and listen to was, suicide attempt survivors. It helped me to be able to gain a deeper understanding of suicide and mental health struggles. It also gave me insight into how I can help people who are suffering from suicidal ideations.

I joined a grief support group and a suicide survivor loss support group. Both of these groups allowed me to connect with other people who were experiencing the same things as me and I did not need to explain myself. I made friends, I cried, I laughed but most of all I realized that I was not alone and I felt seen, heard and validated. I also attend an adoption group which has been helpful because many adoptees are also dealing with suicide loss. It has been helpful to talk with other adoptees about suicide loss. You can look for a group online and accessibility should be easier now that most groups are being done virtually.

Attending events such as walks that raise money for suicide prevention or attending International Suicide Survivor Loss Day which is in November have also very helpful. Again, I was able to realise that I am not not alone and I felt like part of a bigger piece. It is inspiring to see money being raised to help prevent suicide, fund research, and also cathartic.

Movement such as running, biking, walking, and yoga have also helped me cope because they are an outlet where I can release and channel my emotions. Meditation has been great because it has allowed me to slow down and be present in my body. Journaling and writing have been my creative outlet for processing and coping with suicide loss. Making sure that I am eating a balanced diet and getting sufficient sleep has also been really beneficial. The self care piece is really important and it will look different for everyone. Please do something for yourself that you enjoy doing.

Social media is also a great way to connect with other survivors of suicide loss. There are many groups and organizations that one can join. There are also many blogs, podcasts and articles on mental health issues that discuss suicide which are great resources.

It has been almost 7 years since my first suicide loss and just over 2 from the death of my mom so it has been a decent amount of time and not a long period of time. I am at a place where I want to share my story whether it be to one on one, to a group, or through writing. This is not something I could have done early on as it was so painful and I was still processing everything. I find now that sharing my story has really helped me cope and be able to help others.

I have made an effort to incorporate the people that have been lost into my everyday life. I have purchased ornaments in honour of them for my Christmas tree, framed pictures of them for my house, I purchase flowers regularly in honour of my mom, I light candles, and make their favourite food on holidays or any other time. I am thinking about getting a tattoo in honour of my mom so that she is always symbolically there with me. It has been soothing for me to incorporate them into my daily life. Some other ideas I have thought of are, planting a tree or plant for the person, you can set a place for them at the table, you can buy or create some kind of art that can be in honour of them, you could buy or make a scarf or something to wear that symbolises them.

I want you to remember that the suicide of your loved one is not your fault. You are not alone in losing someone to suicide.

Please take care of yourself and remember there are resources to help you cope. Be kind and gentle with yourself.

Other Resources on Adoptee Suicide

Umgang mit dem Suizid von Adoptierten
ICAVs Memorial Page
Gedenktag der Adoptierten
Es ist eine Schwarze Woche für Adoptierte in Europa

April 20, 2021April 2, 2021

Adoptierte brauchen psychiatrische Dienste

von Christina Soo Ja Massey, auch bekannt YooNett von Südkorea in die USA adoptiert.

Ich habe meine Haare aus zwei Gründen rasiert:
Das bevorstehende Scottish Mental Health and Arts Festival im Mai 2021.
Mein aktueller Zustand der sich verschlechternden psychischen Gesundheit.

Die Tränen des Traumas Ich habe in der Vergangenheit als hilflose Waise geweint, ich weine mein ganzes Leben lang als Erwachsener.

Ich bin ein koreanischer Adoptierter aus Übersee.
Adoption ist kein Happy Ever After, dass manche versuchen mögen, es glauben zu machen.

Ein obdachloser koreanischer Adoptierter aus Übersee, der von einer Adoptivfamilie erzählt, die nichts mit seiner Adoption und seinem früheren Hintergrund zu tun hat. Verlust eines weiteren koreanischen Adoptierten aus Übersee durch Selbstmord. Viele koreanische Adoptierte in Übersee, die über ihre Vergangenheit, Gegenwart und Zukunft belogen wurden. Viele leiden unter weiterer Vernachlässigung oder noch mehr Missbrauch aller Formen durch ihre Adoptierer.
Denken Sie nur daran, dass wir bereits Traumata durch den Verlust von leiblichen Eltern erlebt haben.

In den 1970er und 80er Jahren wurde Korea wegen der steigenden Zahl koreanischer Kinder, die zur Adoption ins Ausland geschickt wurden, des Kinderhandels beschuldigt.

Das Bild, das meine Adoptanten aus Korea erhielten, zeigte ein Kleinkind mit abrasierten Haaren. Ich litt an einem Ausschlag auf meinem Kopf, der durch atopisches Ekzem verursacht wurde. Atopisches Ekzem bleibt das ganze Leben lang bestehen und erzählt die Geschichte von jedem Aspekt des Stresses, den der Körper erfährt.
So auch posttraumatischer Stress.

Sie denken vielleicht an andere berühmte oder nicht bekannte Leute, die sich in einem Zustand psychischer Not den Kopf rasiert haben. Sinead O'connor, Britney Spears, Amy Winehouse … was auch immer ihr Motiv ist.

Das Rasieren des Kopfes wird als ein Symptom anerkannt, das im Zusammenhang mit einer psychischen Erkrankung auftreten kann, jedoch nicht mit einer bestimmten Form einer psychischen Erkrankung. Die Betroffenen haben oft bald danach einen Nervenzusammenbruch erlebt, vielleicht in einem Zustand der Manie … Ein Versuch, die Kontrolle zurückzugewinnen oder ein Zeichen des Kontrollverlusts.

Es gibt zahlreiche Social-Media-Beiträge online von Menschen, die sich während des Lockdowns dieser Covid-19-Pandemie die Haare rasieren.

Wir müssen dringend Mängel in den psychiatrischen Diensten beheben. Wir brauchen ein sicheres und gut ausgestattetes Umfeld, in dem Fachkräfte für psychische Gesundheit weiterarbeiten können. Besserer Zugang zu fortschrittlichen Technologien und sozialen Medien. Mehr Vielfalt. Ganzheitlichere und individuell zugeschnittene Therapien. Um nur einige aufzuzählen.

Solange psychische Gesundheitsprobleme weiterhin ungehört und unsichtbar bleiben, gibt es wenig Hoffnung auf mehr Ressourcen.

Machen Sie mit und sensibilisieren Sie. Danke.

# Bewusstsein für psychische Gesundheit
#psychische Gesundheit ist wichtig
#Geisteskrankheit
#Geisteskrankheitsbewusstsein
#Überlebender
#scheine
#örtchen
1TP5 Torten und psychische Gesundheit
#artsandmentalhealthfestival
#koreanisch
#asian
#deutsch
#asianlivesmatter
#international
#adoptee
#overseasAdoption
#Selbstmord
#atopiceczema
#orphan
#ptsd
#bpd
#schwere Depression
#suizidgedanken
1TP5 Emotional instabile Persönlichkeitsstörung
#ambivalenter Angriff
#Vertrauensprobleme
#schwierige Beziehungen
#häusliche Gewalt
#sexueller Missbrauch
#Menschenhandel

Februar 18, 2021Februar 12, 2021

Brief an Präsident Moon

von Michelle Y. K. Piper adopted from Sth Korea to Australia.

President Moon,

To you, I may be merely a statistic.

A Number.

Name: 86c-1335.

Born: “bastard”

Abandoned by: Bio Mother

These are the words inked into the brittle pages “cataloguing” my birth, 4 ½ months before I was separated from my mother, exiled from my motherland, sold, and sent overseas via the process of “adoption”.

For 34 years, I have carried the burden of shame and humiliation for decisions of which I had no control over, or voice.

For 34yrs, it has been expected of me by society and the world at large to be “grateful” for being adopted; for not being “aborted” or left to languish in poverty raised by a single mother and ostracised by a society that is unaccepting of such a dishonourable and disgraceful existence.

Expected to be “grateful” to have been “chosen” to go to a “better life”.

Tell me President Moon, how many Korean adoptees actually went to a “better life”, do you know?

How many of us were checked upon or followed up on in the years after our adoption?

Any..?

Have you ANY knowledge or understanding of the suffering and trauma so many of your nation’s children were exposed to after going to “better” lives?

Are you cognisant of the fact we are 4 times more at risk of suicide than the average person, due solely to the trauma of relinquishment? Are you aware of how many adoptees have since lost their lives to suicide?

If our own people, the people who govern our nation continue to portray us as disposable, products for export, how do you hypothesise the rest of the world to perceive us? To value us?

To know who we are and where we came from, to be treated with the SAME decency and respect as any other being, for OUR lives to count, to matter, to be valued for more than just the going price of the highest bidder; can you honestly argue this to be such an immense or unreasonable request?

Why do we as adoptee’s continue pay to the price for the mistakes and failures of the elites who governed generations before us?

Why do our nations children continue to pay the price for a deeply flawed and failed system? A system put in place to “protect” and “care”, to safeguard society’s most vulnerable and helpless, to protect those unable to defend themselves or make their suffering known.

A system which has catastrophically failed to fulfill its duty of care time and time again, a system that cataclysmically FAILED in its duty to protect 16 month old Jeong-In.

My status in Korea as a child born out of wedlock to a single mother without consent or approval from the elders of our family, without the approval of society, meant from the day I was born, my life was of no more value to our nation but for the monetary profit that could be gained from the sales transaction of my adoption.

To you, I am a faceless statistic.

Just another number on a piece of paper; a data entry in the government system, an easy money maker used by Korea in its resolve to rise to the advanced economic powerhouse it is today.

To you, I my be a nothing, a nobody, an abhorrent by-product of the highest betrayal to a nation who’s social, political, and legal structures continue to be governed by the principles of Confucianism.

To you, I may be but one number, but I am one that represents over 200,000 of your displaced children throughout the world.

You seal our records, deny us the very basics of human rights.

You have attempted to keep us faceless, to keep our voices from being heard.

You have watched in reticence as we have been sold, trafficked, abused, and murdered.

You have buried our truths and silenced our voices.

Attempted to censor the knowledge and proof of our existence as effortlessly as you have managed to erase our pasts.

You try to placate us with empty words and blanket apologies, yet time and time again Korea has CLEARLY established how little value it truly places upon the wellbeing and lives of its children.

Not only via the tens of thousands of adoptees scattered worldwide, but through the 250 students it left to die onboard the sinking Sewol Ferry.

250 children who könnte have been saved, weren’t.

Through the way in which obedience and perfection are EXPECTED Und DEMANDED of every child; academically, socially, even physically, pushing Korean suicide rates into some of the highest in the world and the leading cause of death nationwide for ages 9 -24 yrs.

These are YOUR children!!!

Our nation’s future!

If it is to have a future.

You seem to show little to no regard for lives of the young, yet death rates now surpass birth rates, leaving the question how much longer will our people endure?

How much time until our race is no more?

The image of Korea that is so carefully projected onto the world stage, is nothing but a farce.

A nation consumed with pride, greed, and ambition revelling in its technological and economic advancements, whilst continuing its long and profound history of human rights abuse. Revelling in the global phenomenon of K-pop, K-dramas, and flawless plastic surgery turning citizens into life-like anime dolls all of which amounts to nothing but superficial, pretty, shiny, plastic distractions; band aids made for minor cuts, but with which Korea uses in attempt to conceal the extensive, critical, and ineffable wounds scarcely “hidden” beneath the surface.

Deliberately refashioning Korea’s image for the fulfilment and pacification for the global arena while remaining steadfast and loyal to a fundamentally flawed, corrupt, and broken system which continues to extort and profit from the separation, suffering and abuse of its people makes those ruling over the South no better than the tyrannical dictatorship oppressing our people in the North.

To you, we may merely be statistics.

But we are no longer voiceless, and we will no longer be silenced!

We are over 200,000 strong, each with a face, a name, and a story.

We had Mothers and Fathers, Brothers and Sisters, Grandparents, Aunties, Uncles, and Cousins.

No matter how hard you may try to dehumanise us, I can promise you, in this you shall not succeed.

I will no longer be silenced. I will remain faceless no more, for I am NOT a thing.

I was born in Haeundae, Busan.

Daughter of- Kim, Yeo Kyeong (Mother) and Jang, Hyeon Soo (Father).

I have endured racism, child sexual abuse and rape on two separate occasions in my “better” life so far.

I have fought with an Eating Disorder for 21 years, made countless attempts to end my life, all of which I have been brought back from.

My arms will forever bear the permanent, grotesque, disfiguring scars from which my life’s blood has so often freely flown, only to be replaced, time and time again in the desperate attempts to save a life that in your eyes, seems of little to no value, and not worth saving at all.

Tell me President Moon, what will you do when there is no longer a population to sustain our race?

When will you and the people who continue to govern our nation admit culpability, take responsibility for their duty to safeguard our people, to protect the vulnerable and the voiceless?

To guard, secure and preserve our nation’s future and the future of its children.

We are NOT objects!

We are NOT inconsequential!

WE are YOUR children!!!

We are NOT COMMODITIES!!!

We are NOT a product to be labelled and packaged for sale!

We are NOT replaceable, exchangeable, refundable goods for export no matter how hard you have tried to dehumanise us.

President Moon, We are NOT THINGS!!!