A child born in a time of fear,
A nation divided as they fight for a lost cause;
Based upon greed.
It seemed that neither side cared that they tore apart families,
With their hatred and their petty egos,
As they tried to dominate the other.
Through all the gunfire; the screams of they dying and the anguish of the bereaved,
A child was born, torn away from a mother she never knew; and sadly may never know.
The sense of abandonment and hatred for her own kind,
Sat within her soul like acid eating away at her,
from the inside out.
Many years she yearned for a mother she never had,
To hide within the arms of a mother’s love when the fear,
threatened to overwhelm her.
Now that same child has grown to a young woman,
who looks back to a past she cannot remember well.
Yet it still fills her with a sadness and loneliness that cannot be described
with just mere words alone.
Her journey through childhood is hazy,
Her journey through puberty and adolescent years was violent and chaotic,
which she struggled to survive through the use of drugs and alcohol;
The numbing detachment from her abuse of drugs,
became the arms of a lost mother to smother her fears and unconsciously to deny her;
her dreams of life and love, which deep down in her soul,
she truly believed she did not deserve …
Until now …
June 1997
Lonely days followed by lonely nights,
A longing ache buried within the depths of my soul.
A heart that’s filled with loneliness and brimming with sadness that wants to break so bad.
A sense of loss for something I have never gained.
The tears they come; the tears they go; yet still my soul is all alone.
There is no comfort to hold me tight;
There is no love to dry my tears,
There is no smile to ease my pain,
and somehow the laughter got lost within the rain.
August 1997
Lost in a dream of lies and deception,
The pain of one’s truth is like a knife,
That severs some belief that’s buried deep within one’s soul.
We try to deny the truth and cover them with illusions,
We twist ourselves unconsciously to try and fit within a mould,
so that the pain is dulled and we can continue our games of charades and illusions,
For the courage to face our truths is lost within the pain we sometimes have to bare;
when the truth comes into the light of love and compassion.
November 2000
How much longer must we travel down the road of pain;
How much longer must we feel the winds of betrayal upon our faces,
How much longer must we shed the tears of heartache
and feel the rage of anger upon our souls.
How much longer must we remain prisoners within the loneliness of who we are,
How much longer must I remain chained to the bondage of my fears, my loneliness
and the heartache of where I’ve been; yet now knowing where I’m going.
February 2001
A sense of peace has settled within my soul,
My heart is open; my mind is clear,
A sense of clarity of where I am, who I am and what I want.
I do not know how long this feeling will last,
But I hold onto it, for I know that deep within my soul,
it will guide me home,
Like a candle that burns so bright within the window,
To guide a weary traveller on a dark and lonely night.
March 2001