Autor: Lynellelong

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Suche in der internationalen Adoption durch Adoptee Experts Webinar

Am 23. April 2023 veranstaltete ICAV ein Panel-Webinar, um Ihnen das Fachwissen unserer Suchexperten auf der ganzen Welt vorzustellen und ihre besten Weisheiten darüber zu teilen, was bei der Suche im Rahmen internationaler Adoptionen zu beachten ist. Sie vertraten direkt Adoptionsorganisationen aus Sri Lanka, Äthiopien, Südkorea, Haiti, Kolumbien und Griechenland.

Sehen Sie sich das Webinar hier an:
Hinweis: Wenn Sie es in Chrome ansehen, klicken Sie auf die Schaltfläche „Mehr erfahren“, um das Video anzusehen

Timecode

Für diejenigen, die wenig Zeit haben und zu den relevanten Abschnitten springen möchten, ist hier ein Timecode als Hilfe:

00:20 Einführung, Willkommen, Zweck
04:30 Vorstellung der Diskussionsteilnehmer
04:39 Marcia Engel
06:48 Rebecca Payot
09:29 Jonas Desír
10:25 Linda Carol Trotter
12:55 Kayla Curtis
15:22 Hilbrand Westra
17:44 Benoît Vermeerbergen
21:00 Celin Fässler

Fragen & Antworten

23:28 Was beinhaltet der allgemeine Suchvorgang? – Kayla
27:30 Was sollten Adoptierte vorbereiten? – Linda, Marcia
35:51 Was sind einige der Ergebnisse? – Jonas, Kayla, Linda
46:50 Welche möglichen Hindernisse sind zu erwarten? – Rebecca, Linda
56:51 Welche Ethik ist zu berücksichtigen? – Marcia, Kayla
1:06:40 Was sollte eine Suche kosten? – Rebecca, Linda, Celin
1:11:46 Wem kann man vertrauen? Hilbrand, Jonas
1:16:16 Welche Aspekte sind bei DNA-Tests zu beachten? – Benoît
1:19:18 Zu welchen Ergebnissen können DNA-Tests führen? – Benoît
1:20:40 Welche DNA-Tests empfehlen Sie? Benoït, Marcia
1:23:51 Welche Vorteile bietet die Verwendung einer von Adoptierten geführten Suchorganisation? – Celin, Marcia
1:28:28 Was war nötig, um eine vertrauenswürdige, von der Regierung finanzierte Suchorganisation zu werden? – Celin
1:30:36 Was wird von den Regierungen am meisten benötigt, um Adoptierte bei unserer Suche zu unterstützen? – Hilbrand, Marcia

Zusammenfassung der Kernbotschaften

Klicken Hier für ein PDF unserer Schlüsselnachrichten von jedem Diskussionsteilnehmer

Ressourcen

Ein großes Dankeschön an die 26 Adoptierten, die ihre Sucherfahrungen teilen wollten, damit andere ein tieferes Verständnis erlangen können. Sie repräsentieren Erfahrungen aus 13 Geburtsländern (China, Kolumbien, Indien, Malaysia, Marokko, Peru, Philippinen, Rumänien, Russland, Südkorea, Sri Lanka, Thailand, Vietnam) und wurden in 9 Adoptivländer (Australien, Belgien, Kanada, Frankreich) geschickt , Deutschland, Schottland, Schweden, Großbritannien, USA).

ICAVs neuestes Perspektivenpapier am Suche im Bereich internationale Adoption

Weitere Ressourcen finden Sie in unserem Suche & Wiedervereinigung Buchseite

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Lassen Sie uns über illegale und unerlaubte internationale Adoptionen sprechen

There’s a resounding silence around the world from the majority of adoptive parents when adult intercountry adoptees start to talk about whether our adoptions are illegal or illicit. Why is that? Let’s begin the conversation and unpack it a little.

As an intercountry adoptee, I was purchased through illicit and illegal means and it has taken me years to come to terms with what this means and how I view my adoption. I’m not alone in this journey and because of what I hear and see amongst my community of adoptees, I believe it’s really important for adoptive parents to grapple with what they’ve participated in. This system of child trafficking in intercountry adoption is widespread! It’s not just a Guatemalan, Vietnamese, Sri Lankan or Russian issue – it impacts every country we are adopted to and from, beginning back in the 1950s enmasse, through to current day adoptions. The 1993 Hague Convention came about because of the vast number of illegal and illicit adoptions. The Hague could possibly blind adoptive parents into believing their adoptions cannot be illegal or illicit because they went through the “approved” process and authority. But while a Hague adoption is less likely than a pre-Hague private or expatriate adoption to have illegal and illicit practices within, it is no guarantee because the Hague lacks mechanisms to enforce and safeguard against child trafficking.

To date, most adoptive countries have also not curbed or stopped private and expatriate adoptions that bypass the Hague processes. This means illegal and illicit adoptions are very much still possible and facilitated through a country’s immigration pathways and usually the only role an adoptive country will play in these adoptions, is to assess visa eligibility. This remains a huge failing of adoptive countries who assume a birth country has all the checks and balances in place to prevent illegal and illicit practices within private and expatriate adoptions.

If you aren’t grappling with what you’ve participated in as an adoptive parent, you can be sure your adoptees are, at some point in their lives. More so these days, as the world around us changes and country after country (Niederlande, Belgien, Norwegen, Schweiz, Schweden, Frankreich) eventually investigates and recognises the wrongs done historically in intercountry adoption. Deutschland, Dänemark Und Australien are countries where adoptees are currently pushing for their governments to investigate. Support comes from the UN who last year, issued their joint statement on illegal intercountry adoptions.

It’s important we have these discussions and be truthful with adoptees about illegal and illicit practices that are our adoptions. In ICAV, we grapple with the reality, especially when it comes to searching for our origins and finding out the truth. Here’s a Webinar I co-facilitated two years ago on this topic. As you’ll see from the webinar, we are all impacted by these practices – adoptees, adoptive parents, and our original families.

When I first started ICAV in 1998, I didn’t want to discuss the darker sides of adoption. I blindly mimicked what I’d heard – being grateful for my life in Australia and thankful that my life was so much better than if I’d remained in Vietnam. It’s taken me years to educate myself, listening to fellow adoptees around the world who are impacted and advocating for our rights and for the dark side of adoption to be dealt with. I’ve finally come to understand deeply what the adoption industry is and how it operates.

My adoptive parents couldn’t deal with my questions or comments about being paid for in France, or the questions I had about the Vietnamese lawyer who facilitated my adoption. They jumped to his defence. But there is no evidence I am an orphan and my 40+ years of searching for the truth highlights how illegal my adoption is, to date: no relinquishment document, no birth certificate, no adoption papers from the Vietnam side, only a few personal letters written from lawyer to adoptive family and an exchange of money to a French bank account, then the Victorian adoption authority processed my adoption 16 years after I entered Australia with parents who were questionably “assessed and approved”.

I’m a parent of teenaged children and I know what it’s like to have those tough discussions on topics we aren’t comfortable with. I’m sure many adoptive parents must feel doubts and possibly a sense of guilt looking back in hindsight, for not looking into things more, pushing away doubts about the process, the costs, the facilitators, in their zeal to become a parent at all costs. If you feel guilt or remorse as an adoptive parent, at least you’re being honest about the reality of intercountry adoption. Honesty is a good place to start. What’s worse for adoptees is when our parents deny and defend their actions despite data that indicates there were plenty of signals of illicit practices from that country or facilitator. Being honest will help your adoptee start to trust you can take responsibility for your actions and not pass the buck to the “other” stakeholders who also contribute to trafficking practices. 

The difficult part for us all, is that there are rarely any supports or education on this topic from those facilitating adoption or supporting it – either as pre or post adoption organisations. Even less support exists for those who KNOW it was illegal or illicit adoption and no-one guides us as to what we can do about it except our own peer communities. This needs to change! It should not be the responsibility of the impacted community to provide the industry and authorities with education and resources on what it means to be a victim of the process and how to support us.

At ICAV, we have been attempting to fill this gap because the industry continues to fail us in this way. Here is our global paper we compiled of our responses we’d like from governments and authorities. I hope those who feel guilt or remorse will turn that feeling into an action to demand better supports and legislation for impacted people and speaking up to hold governments and agencies accountable. That is how you’ll help us in my humble opinion. The fact that so many parents who participated in trafficking practices are silent is only damning your adoptee to have to fight the system by themselves. 

Thankfully, the work I was involved in, to represent adoptees in the Hague Working Group on Preventing and Addressing Illicit Practices in Intercountry Adoption, has concluded with a published toolkit in which Central Authorities are now provided a template for how they könnte respond to queries from victims of illegal and illicit adoptions. Sadly, this toolkit, like the 1993 Hague Convention is not enforceable and so, it requires those of us who are impacted to spend much time and energy pushing governments and authorities to respond to us in an appropriate manner.

If you are an Australian and you’d like to support us in our push for an investigation by an independent body into Australia’s history of intercountry adoptions, you can participate in our survey as an adoptee or as an adoptive parent. We aim to gather high level data showing the human rights abuse patterns throughout the birth countries and the ongoing lack of adequate responses from the Australian government and authorities. Prior to this, we created a letter with signatures from the community which was sent to every Australian Central Authority, every Minister responsible for Adoption at both State and Federal level, and to our Prime Minister and State Premiers.

For the benefit of many, I felt it important to provide an easy to read document on what an illicit and illegal intercountry adoption is. My heartfelt thanks to Prof. David Smolin who did the lion share of creating this easy to read document. I’m honoured to know some incredible adoptive parents like David who spend their lives advocating and working with us to change this global system.

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Antirassismus-Online-Workshops für transrassische Adoptierte und Eltern

Letztes Jahr lief ich a Webinar über die Erfahrungen internationaler und transrassischer Adoptierter mit Rassismus, um das Bewusstsein zu schärfen und diesen gemeinsamen Erfahrungen als Gemeinschaft eine Stimme zu verleihen. Um den Mangel an Ressourcen für unsere Gemeinschaft in diesem Bereich weiter anzugehen, habe ich die Finanzierung über das verwendet Beziehungen Australien Programm für kleine Zuschüsse und Stipendien einstellen Farbton, ein Live-Experience-Unternehmen, das sich auf Antirassismus-Workshops spezialisiert hat. Gemeinsam bieten Hue und ICAV einen dringend benötigten Raum (separat für transrassische Adoptierte und einen weiteren für Adoptiveltern), um einige dieser Probleme im Zusammenhang mit Rasse, Rassismus und internationalen / transrassischen Adoptionen zu diskutieren, zu sensibilisieren und zu bearbeiten.

Unsere Workshops sind kostenlos und werden als dreiteilige Serie angeboten, als ein Anti-Rassismus-Programm, das speziell auf australische internationale und transrassische Adoptierte und ihre Eltern zugeschnitten ist. Adoptierte und Eltern aus anderen Ländern können gerne teilnehmen, da sie verstehen, dass das Programm aus australischer Perspektive (aber immer noch relevant für andere Länder) und in einer australischen Zeitzone durchgeführt wird. Jeder Workshop ist auf 35 begrenzt, um den maximalen Nutzen für die Teilnehmer zu gewährleisten.

Beide Programme werden in ihrem ersten Workshop eine Einführung in Rasse und Rassismus behandeln und unser Verständnis und kritisches Denken in Bezug auf systemischen Rassismus und Ungerechtigkeit entwickeln. Der zweite Workshop befasst sich mit dem Weißsein oder der von Weißen dominierten Kultur und der Art und Weise, wie unsere Einstellungen und Lebensweisen von diesen kulturellen Systemen beeinflusst werden, insbesondere im Zusammenhang mit internationalen Adoptionen. Die Adoptierten werden mit einem Programm abschließen, das Möglichkeiten erforscht, die schädlichen Überzeugungen, die wir in einer von Weißen dominierten Kultur verinnerlichen, zu verlernen und herauszufordern, Werkzeuge für die kollektive Befreiung und Solidarität sowie Werkzeuge für die Selbst- und Gemeinschaftsfürsorge. Adoptiveltern werden ihre Reihe mit einem Workshop über Verbündete abschließen, Fähigkeiten entwickeln, um Rassismus in Frage zu stellen, wenn sie ihn sehen, und ihre Adoptivkinder durch ihre Erfahrungen unterstützen.

Hier sind einige Informationen über Hue und seine Moderatorin Elsa, mit der ich zusammengearbeitet habe, um diese Workshops an unsere Community-Erfahrung anzupassen:

Farbton ist eine Organisation für Rassen- und soziale Gerechtigkeit, die von zwei farbigen Frauen gegründet wurde und eine Reihe von Trainingsprogrammen anbietet, die zugänglich, ansprechend und stärkenbasiert sind. Ihre Workshops werden von Menschen mit gelebter Erfahrung geleitet, um partizipative und nuancierte Lernerfahrungen für alle Wissensstufen zu bieten. Sie bieten auch kontinuierliche Unterstützung und Beratung für Organisationen, die sinnvolle Änderungen in ihren Richtlinien, Prozessen und ihrer Arbeitskultur vornehmen möchten.

Elsa (sie/sie) ist eine queere, jüdische und chinesische Farbige. Sie ist Pädagogin, Moderatorin, Organisatorin und Performerin. Sie ist Mitbegründerin von Hue, einer Organisation gegen Rassismus und soziale Gerechtigkeit, die Schulungen und Beratung für Organisationen anbietet. Zuvor war sie Ausbildungsleiterin bei Democracy in Color und war zwei Amtszeiten lang im Vorstand und QTIBIPOC-Vorstandsausschuss von Switchboard Victoria tätig. Sie hat einen Hintergrund in Sozialarbeit und Psychologie und schrieb ihre Abschlussarbeit darüber, wie gemischtrassige Menschen aus mehreren Minderheiten mit ihrer ethnischen Identität umgehen. 2020 wurde sie mit einem der Out for Australia’s 30 under 30, for LGBTQIA+ Role Models and Leaders ausgezeichnet und 2022 war sie Halbfinalistin für die 7NEWS Young Achievers Awards for Community Service and Social Impact. Sie setzt sich leidenschaftlich dafür ein, gelebte Erfahrungen zu Plattformen zu machen, die Macht der Gemeinschaft aufzubauen und dabei zu heilen.

Die wichtigsten Daten der Workshops für Adoptierte sind: 21. Mai, 4. Juni, 18. Juni, Beginn um 13:00 Uhr AEST. Jeder Workshop dauert 3,5 Stunden mit Pausen dazwischen. Input und Teilnahme werden durch Kleingruppen-Breakouts gefördert. Dies ist kein Workshop zum Sitzen und Zuhören, aber wenn Sie sich dabei wohl fühlen, ist das auch in Ordnung.

Wenn Sie sich als internationaler / transrassischer Adoptierter an unserem Workshop nur für Adoptierte beteiligen möchten, klicken Sie bitte auf das gelbe RSVP-Bild:


Die wichtigsten Termine der Workshops für Adoptiveltern sind: 23. Juli, 6. August, 20. August ab 13:00 Uhr AEST. Jeder Workshop dauert 3,5 Stunden mit Pausen dazwischen. Input und Teilnahme werden durch Kleingruppen-Breakouts gefördert. Dies ist kein Workshop zum Sitzen und Zuhören, aber wenn Sie sich dabei wohl fühlen, ist das auch in Ordnung.

Wenn Sie als Adoptiveltern an unserem Workshop nur für Adoptiveltern teilnehmen möchten, klicken Sie bitte auf das blaue RSVP-Bild:

Großen Dank an die Australische Bundesregierung, DSS für die Ermöglichung durch die Förderung durch Relationships Australia ICAFSS, Programm für kleine Zuschüsse und Stipendien.

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Suche in internationalen Adoptionen durch Experten für Adoptierte

On April 23, ICAV will be providing a webinar on some of the complex issues involved in searching in various birth countries, but with specific knowledge of Colombia, Ethiopia, Haiti, Greece, Korea, and Sri Lanka.

Our webinar will be unique in that we are not only bringing our lived experience as individuals, but also presenting as a global resource, highlighting the adoptee led organisations who provide a formal search and support services. Our panelists hold the dual role of knowing intuitively how complex searching is as individuals having done their own searching and also having decades of experience in providing formal search and support services to the community.

ICAV knows intuitively what the latest Forschung (p231) conducted within the Korean adoptee community shows – i.e.,, that intercountry adoptees find their peers and adoptee led organisations to be the most helpful in their searches. There’s nothing better than those who live it knowing intuitively how to best provide the services we need as a community.

If you’d like to be part of our audience, click here to RSVP.

Our 8 panelists are:

Marcia Engel

Marcia is the creator and operator of Engel planen, a nonprofit human rights foundation currently based in Amsterdam, Netherlands. Her organization has a powerful mission: helping Colombian families find their children who were lost to child trafficking and adoption.

For fifteen years now, Plan Angel has grown a strong community with over 1,000 families in Colombia. The foundation helps these families search for their missing adopted children all over the world, hoping to one day reconnect them with each other. Marcia and her foundation have reunited hundreds of families and continue to support them after their reunion.

Linda Carol Forrest Trotter

Linda is a Greek-born adoptee, adopted by American parents and found her biological family in Greece five and a half years ago. She is the founder and president of Das Eftychia-Projekt, a nonprofit organization that assists and supports, free of charge, Greek-born adoptees searching for their roots and Greek families searching for their children lost to adoption.

In addition to its Search and Reunion program, the Eftychia Project, in collaboration with the MyHeritage DNA company, distributes DNA kits for free to adoptees and Greek families. To date, The Eftychia Project has facilitated the reconnections of 19 adoptees with their Greek families.

The Eftychia Project also actively advocates on behalf of all Greek-born adoptees with the Greek government for their birth and identity rights, including transparency about their adoptions, unfettered access to their birth, orphanage and adoption records, and the restoration of their Greek citizenship.

Kayla Curtis

Kayla is born in South Korea and adopted to South Australia. Kayla has been searching for her Korean birth family for over twenty years. She returned to Korea to do ‘on the ground’ searching using posters, newspapers, local police, and adoptee search organisations. In the absence of having a reunion with birth family, she has built a meaningful relationship with her birth country and Korean culture and proudly identifies as Korean-Australian.  

In her professional life, Kayla works as a Senior Counsellor for the Internationaler Adoptiv- und Familienunterstützungsdienst (ICAFSS) at Relationships Australia.  

Kayla is a qualified Therapeutic Life Story Worker and has a Master’s in Social Work as well as extensive experience working in the area of adoption both in government and non-government, providing counselling, education and training, community development and post adoption support.  In this role, Kayla supports intercountry adoptees with searching and navigating this uncertain and complex process between countries, as well as offering therapeutic support to adoptees, on this journey. 

Jonas Désir

Jonas

Jonas is a Haitian adoptee raised in Australia who has spent many years assisting his fellow Haitian adoptees to search for their families in Haiti. He was adopted from Haiti at 6 years old and eventually was able to find his mother in Haiti. Today he is happily married with children and works a lot to help mentor other younger adoptees and help adoptive families.

Benoît Vermeerbergen

Benoît was born in Villers-Semeuse, France under “Sous X”. This means that his parents and especially his mother did not want to be known or found. His birth certificate literally only shows X’s as parents’ names. Growing up Benoît had a lot of questions trying to understand all of this. After his studies, he purposely began working for the ‘Population Services’ in the hope of discovering more information about his birth mother. 

During this process and the years that followed, Benoît helped so many other people in their search (for example, trying to find their biological birth parents), that he made genealogical research his main source of income. It has always been and will always be his greatest passion in life! 

Genealogy and adoption therefore are his field of specialisation. In the past couple of years he has also started working in the field of ‘DNA’. In 2019, he found his biological mother through this method. Today, he cooperates with a lot of genealogical and adoption related authorities and helps to invent and build many adoption related platforms. Although Belgium is his home country, he also has experience in doing research abroad, i.e. Australia, Mexico, and The Netherlands.

Rebecca Payot

Rebecca is the founder of the association Racines Naissent des Ailes and co-founder of Emmaye Adoptee’s Family Reunion. Adopted in Ethiopia at the age of 5, Rebecca is a graduate in early childhood psychology specialising in adolescents in identity crisis. She has worked for 20 years in international adoption in France as a consultant and speaker on quest of origins. She is the author of her first book entitled “The Quest of Origins, a Miracle Remedy for the ills of the adopted?”

Hilbrand Wester

Hilbrand is a Korean adoptee raised in the Netherlands and has the longest track record, working with and for adoptees in the Netherlands since 1989. Internationally, his name is well known and disputed at the same time by the first generation of intercountry adoptees because he dared to oppose the Disney fairytale of adoption. He is also the first adoptee in the world to receive an official Royal decoration by the King of the Netherlands in 2015 and is Knighted in the Order of Orange Nassau for outstanding work for adoptees and in the field of adoption.

In daily life, Hilbrand runs his own school in systemic work and is a renowned teacher and trainer nationally and his work has sparked great interest in the UK. He spends time bridging the work in this field between the Netherlands and the UK. Hilbrand is a confidant and executive coach for leaders and directors in the Netherlands and also works partly with the Ministry of Defence and the Ministry of Education, Culture and Science.

Celin Fässler

Celin is adopted from Sri Lanka to Switzerland and is the Communications Manager and Board Member at Zurück zu den Wurzeln. Back to the Roots is a Swiss NGO founded in 2018 by Sri Lankan adoptees. Its main goal is to raise awareness of the complex search for origins and to support adoptees in their searching process. Since May 2022, Back to the Roots has been funded by the Swiss government and the regional districts in order to provide professional support to adoptees from Sri Lanka to Switzerland.

Sarah Ramani Ineichen

Sarah is adopted from Sri Lankan to Switzerland and is the President of Back to the Roots and may present jointly with Celin in this webinar.

The webinar will be recorded and made available at ICAVs website.

If you have questions you’d like to see addressed in our webinar, please add your comments to this blog or Kontakt us.

Großen Dank an die Australian Government, DSS for funding this event via our Relationships Australia, Programm für kleine Zuschüsse und Stipendien.

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UK Intercountry Adoptees Webinar

Am 30. Januar 2023 nahm eine kleine Gruppe internationaler Adoptierter im Vereinigten Königreich an einer Webinar-Veranstaltung teil, um ihre Gedanken und Erfahrungen mit Adoptivelternorganisationen auszutauschen. AdoptionUK.

In diesem Webinar treffen Sie Sarah Hilder, adoptiert aus Sri Lanka, Joshua Aspden, adoptiert aus Ecuador, Emma Estrella, adoptiert aus Brasilien, Meredith Armstrong, adoptiert aus China, und Claire Martin, adoptiert aus Hongkong. Gemeinsam beantworten wir einige Fragen, die Adoptiveltern stellen AdoptionUK fragen.

Sehen Sie sich das Webinar an und unten finden Sie einen Zeitcode, Schlüsselbotschaften und relevante Ressourcen.
Hinweis: Wenn Sie es in Chrome ansehen, klicken Sie auf die Schaltfläche „Mehr erfahren“, um das Video anzusehen

Webinar-Zeitcode

00:20 Einleitung von AdoptionUK
01:03 Einleitung von Lynelle von ICAV
02:44 Sarah Hilder
03:35 Claire Martin
05:34 Meredith Armstrong
07:39 Emma Estrela
09:39 Joshua Aspden
12:17 Wie kann ich mich bei der Suche nach meiner Familie vor Betrügern schützen? – Lynelle
17:23 Tipps für die Herangehensweise an die Lebensgeschichtenarbeit – Meredith
20:54 Glauben Sie, dass das Leben besser gewesen wäre, wenn Sie von einer Familie in Ihrem Geburtsland adoptiert worden wären?
21:27 Josua
24:56 Emma
28:00 Was möchten wir Adoptiveltern wissen, wenn sie mit einer internationalen Adoption beginnen?
28:24 Claire
32:25 Meredith
35:12 Sarah
38:24 Emma
40:24 Josua
43:34 Lynelle
45:30 Was verbindet Sie am meisten mit Ihrer Herkunft?
45:45 Sarah
48:23 Claire
49:30 Josua
51:07 Planen Sie, eine Pflegefamilie zu besuchen, irgendwelche Tipps oder Hinweise, um mit den großen Emotionen umzugehen, die für Adoptierte aufkommen werden?
51:30 Meredith
52:24 Emma
54:25 Lynelle
56:24 Jo Ende und Danke

Zusammenfassung der Kernbotschaften des Webinars

Klicken Sie hier für eine pdf dokumentieren

Relevante Ressourcen

Können wir ignorieren oder leugnen, dass Rassismus für Farbige existiert?

Der Kontakt zu Farbigen ist für transrassische Adoptierte nicht automatisch

Rennressourcen für Adoptiveltern

Kulturressourcen für Adoptiveltern

Globale Liste der Unterstützung nach der Adoption speziell für internationale Adoptierte

Die Bedeutung der Unterstützung vor und nach der Adoption

Such- und Wiedervereinigungsressourcen

Gedanken für Adoptiveltern

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Vietnamesische Adoptivbrüder und -schwestern finden einander durch DNA

Mikati is a fellow Vietnamese adoptee raised in Belgium, who joined the ICAV network some years ago, wanting to connect to those who understood the complexities of this lifelong journey. I’m honoured to be a part of her life and she told me the amazing news recently of finding and reuniting with her biological brother Georges who was also adopted, but to France. Neither knew of the other until their DNA matches showed up. Together, Mikati and Georges have shared with me their thoughts about finding each other and searching now for their Vietnamese family. Since sharing this and having their news go viral in Vietnamese media, they are currently awaiting news that they have possibly found their mother. Incredible what can be achieved these days with DNA technology and social media! Here is their story as reunited brother and sister.

About Your Life

Georges

I’ve been adopted in 1996 by French parents and my Vietnamese name is Trương Vanlam. I live in Noisy-le-Grand, a little Parisian suburb near the river Marne. I happily live with my cat and girlfriend.  

My life in France (childhood to present) meant I’ve grown up in the countryside surrounded by medieval castles, fields and forests. It has not always been easy to be different in a place where Asian people were very rare to encounter. I was a shy kid but I was happy to have the love of my adoptive family and some friends. Later, I studied in Paris, a pluri-ethnic place with a lot of people from different origins. I have an interest in arts like theatre and cinema and I’ve started to develop short films with my friends. I am not shy anymore but creative and more confident.  

My adoptive parents were very happy to see me for Christmas. They are retired and they don’t leave their village very often like before. They try to help me as much as they can and are happy about my reconnection to my new found sister, Mikati. I trust and respect my adoptive parents and they trust me and respect me equally.  

I teach cinema, video editing and graphics with Adobe suite to adults and teens. I’m making videos and one day, I hope to become a movie director.  

Mikati

I was born in 1994 and adopted to Belgium in June 1995 at 7 months of age. I currently live in Kortrijk in West-Flanders, Belgium. My childhood was in Anzegem, not so far from Kortrijk.

I have been able to develop and grow up in Belgium. I have some dear friends. I have a nice job. Over the years I have made beautiful trips in and out of Europe and met many people. I have done two studies – orthopedagogy and social work. Here I learned how important human, children’s and women’s rights are. I have been working for a non-profit organization for years. I follow up families in socially vulnerable situations and connect them with a student who is studying at the college or university. I did not study to be a teacher, but it is true that I do train students about how they can work with vulnerable families, how they can reflect on their actions, etc.

My childhood wasn’t all that fantastic. As an intercountry adoptee, I grew up in a white environment. That environment had little respect for my original roots. Sometimes I would walk down the street and hear racial slurs from people I didn’t know. As much as I tried to assimilate, I didn’t forget my roots.

My Vietnamese name is Pham Thi Hoa Sen which says a lot about what my life has been like. I grew up to turn out beautiful but I grew up in mud just like a lotus flower. A thorough screening could have prevented a lot. My adoptive parents are not bad people and they did their best, but they underestimated the care needed for children adopted internationally. My adoptive mother already had two children from a previous marriage that she was no longer allowed to see. She was mentally unable to raise children. My adoptive parents are burdened by trauma that they have not worked through. At that time there was also little to no psychological support and guidance for adoptive parents. It was very difficult growing up with them. It is by seeking help for myself and talking to people about it, that I am more aware of life. Just because you mean well and have good intentions does not mean that you are acting right.

About Your Reunion

Georges

It has been surreal, like a dream and a little bit frightening to be found by my sister because all my beliefs about my personal history are now unsure. The first days, I remember repeating again and again, “I’ve got an elder sister, I’ve got an elder sister”. Then we started to talk and get to know each other more and it became more real. Now I’m very happy and proud to have Mikati as my sister. It’s very strange because even though we met only two weeks ago, I feel like I have know her for a long time. For me, it’s a new step in my life, the beginning of a journey where I will connect more with her, with Vietnam, where we will try to discover our family story, I hope.  

Mikati is a strong and caring woman who is always trying to help others despite having encountered many difficulties in her life. She’s very passionate, clever, funny and above all I respect and admire the person she is. We like to discuss many things from important subjects like international adoptions and smaller subjects like the life of our respective cats or tv series or why Belgians are so proud to eat French fries with mayonnaise. I don’t know why but I’ve quickly felt a connection with her. It could be because of our shared DNA but I think it’s more probably because she is fundamentally fantastic as a person. I like to tease her a little sometime and she’s very patient with me and my jokes! We’ve got our differences of course, but siblings always have differences. I’m very glad to have her in my life.  

Mikati

1.5 years ago I decided to take a DNA test through MyHeritage (a commercial DNA-kit). To get a bit of an indication of where my roots come from. Through the result I got a little more information about ethnicity and I saw distant relatives. It was cool to know something because I know very little about my roots. I hadn’t looked at MyHeritage in a long time until early December 2022. I have no idea why exactly as I didn’t even get a notification. To my surprise, I saw that I had a new match. It wasn’t just any distant relative, it was my brother! He lived in a neighbouring country, France!

You have to know that I just woke up when I looked at my mobile phone, so I immediately sent a message to some close friends and my guidance counsellor at the Descent Center. I wanted to know if I was dreaming. Finally I got the confirmation from the experts at the Descent Center that my DNA result were real and we share over 2500 centimorgans! That means he is not half but rather, a full brother.

I was so happy! So many emotions raced through my body that day. I saw a lot of people who were also adopted at an event that day. Most of them were a great support. Most were as happy and moved as I was. A minority reacted rather short, jealous or gave unsolicited advice about anything and everything. I also understand their feelings. It is an exceptional situation that triggers many emotions. Those emotions of others made it sometimes overwhelming for me.

I contacted Georges through Facebook. I wondered if he had already seen it. When he didn’t reply, a friend gave me his LinkedIn profile that had his email address on it. I felt like a little stalker but I decided to send him an email as well. I sent him a little text and gave him the option to get in touch if he wanted to. When he answered, he introduced himself and asked a few questions. The contact was open, enthusiastic and friendly. So we are very sure of the DNA match, but some mysteries soon surfaced quickly during the first conversation. We told each other what name we got on our adoption papers. Our last names are different. I see on my adoption papers that I have the same last name as my mother. Maybe he has the father’s last name? Georges has not yet properly looked at his adoption papers, so there are still pieces of the puzzle missing.

I am happy when I connect with my brother. The contact feels so natural! We talk and joke like we have known each other for years. We both got a little emotional when we talked about our childhood but also realised how close geographically we grew up. Georges is barely 14 months younger than me. Did the orphanage ever talk to my adoptive parents and suggest taking Georges too? So that we could grow up together? What would my adoptive parents do in such a situation? With a reunion, the search for one’s identity is not over. In fact, it has opened up many more questions!

About your biological family in Vietnam     

Georges

My determination to find my family in Vietnam has increased since I met my elder sister but I’ve always been curious to find more information about my biological mother and father. Growing up as an adopted child, I grew up with a perpetual mystery about my origins. It defines me, marking me forever because I’m always facing the fear of being rejected again . Like many adoptees, I grew up with this explanation: “Your first parents left you because of their poverty.” This is speculation which may be true or not and we do not know until the facts are gathered. I feel no anger about that but I want to know the real motives, the real story from their point of view. Was it their decision or not….?

Mikati is really passionate and determined in this search and about our story and she told me about the real problems caused by some organisations which have seen international adoption as a business in the 1990s. I did research to gather information based on official and independent reports from the press and UNICEF and I talked to adopted people who have been in our orphanage. I’m worried about some testimonies, about the lack of transparency in the adoption process and to adoptive parents, adopted children and biological parents and now I want to be sure if our parents gave their consent or not. I’m also determined to discover this truth and to show our journey through a documentary in order give more information about what could have been problematic in international adoption in the 1990s to year 2000. I’m not alone in this quest ,my elder sister is with me and I’m with her.  

I’ve never had the opportunity to return to Vietnam yet but it is something I hope to do in the near future. I’m sure it won’t be only for fun and tourism!

You can follow Georges at Facebook, LinkedIn oder Youtube.

Mikati

I have my reasons for wanting to find my parents. Under Article 7 of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child, the child has a right to information about his or her parentage. It is also fundamental in human beings to know where they come from. As long as I don’t know the story about my biological parents, I can’t be mad. I really wonder what their
story is. I know it’s going to be hard to search. I know that commercial DNA testing is less used in Vietnam. Papers and names were sometimes forged. I don’t know if my mom actually came from My Tho. Is her name really Tuyet Mai? Right now I’m looking at it mostly inquisitively and with compassion. I want to look at the bigger picture. Why is it that parents are faced with the decision to give up a child? How can a system support parents so that such things do not have to happen again?

Recently a Vietnamese woman contacted me on social media. She told me why she had given up her child in the same orphanage as Georges and I. It has not been easy for her to find out where her child went and she continues to search for her child, even if it was more than 20 years ago. She is still saddened by the situation. If anyone can help us broaden this search, please see Hier.

I have lost contact with my adoptive parents, so they know nothing about my search. I’m sure my adoptive mother would have disapproved.

It would be nice if we find our parents, but we’ll see. I am very grateful for Phuc who has offered to help us search. He seems very nice. I hear from other adoptees that he is friendly and reliable. I also read articles about him and it’s unbelievable what he does to bring families together! I would find it courageous if families dare to come out for what was difficult in the past and why they gave up their child. By telling their story as biological parents, even if they feel ashamed, our society can learn and improve the future.

There are adoptees whose biological parents thought their baby was stillborn but it was actually sold for adoption. If that’s the case with our parents, they don’t even know we are alive. Our story can be everything. It’s hard to know what our case was.

I have so many unanswered questions and I would like to know my family’s story.

If I were to see my biological mother again, the first thing I would tell her is that I would like to get to know her and listen to her story.

Vietnam will always be special to me, even though I didn’t grow up there. I was 9 years old when I went back with my adoptive parents and my sister (non biological) who is also adopted. We went from North to South. Even though my adoptive mother was negative about Vietnam, she couldn’t ruin it for me. The food, the smiling people, the chaos in Ho Chi Minh and the nature in smaller villages have stayed with me. Now I’m reading more about Vietnam and talking more to Vietnamese people. I am saving up to travel to Vietnam again. Maybe alone, maybe with friends or maybe with Georges. We’ll see. But I certainly will go back and learn more about my beautiful country.

You can follow Mikati and her journey at Facebook oder Instagram.

To read Mikati and Georges’ story as published in the Vietnam media, click Hier und die englische Übersetzung Hier.

Veröffentlicht am

Seit 32 Jahren adoptiert und jetzt KOSTENLOS!

von Lynelle Lang, Vietnamese ex-adoptee raised in Australia, Founder of ICAV

I can officially now say, “I WAS adopted” as in, it is of the past. Now, my identity changes once again and I am no longer legally plenary adopted. I am my own person having made a clear and cognitive adult age decision that I want to be legally free of the people who looked after me since 5 months old. Mostly, I wanted to be legally recognised as my biological mother’s child and for the truth to be on my birth certificate and flowing into all my identity documents for the future. This also impacts my children and their future generations to ensure they do not have to live the lie of adoption either, but are entitled to their genetic truth of whom they are born to, multi generationally.

The biggest lie of plenary adoption is that we are “as if born to our adoptive parents”. My Australian birth certificate reflects this lie. I grew tired of the untruths of adoption so I decided to take matters into my own hands and empower myself. Nine months later, on 13 December 2022, I was officially discharged from my adoption order which had been made when I was 17 years old. Previous to this, I had been flown into Australia by my adoptive father at the age of 5 months old in December 1973 and the family kept me with them for 17 years without legally completing my adoption. So technically, I was legally under the care of the Lutheran Victorian adoption agency and Immigration Minister’s care as my guardians until my adoption got completed in April 1990. These institutions however didn’t seem to followup on me nor did they create a State Ward file on me. It is still a mystery to this day how I was barely followed up on, given they knew quite clearly that my adoption had not been finalised.

My case is very unusual in that most adoptive parents want to quickly complete the adoption so they can be officially regarded as the child’s “legal guardians”. I have no idea why my adoptive parents took so long and what baffles me is how they managed to pass as my “parents” at schools, hospitals, or any places where there should be a question around “who is this child’s parents” when they had nothing formal on paper to prove their “parenthood”. It’s quite obvious I can’t be their “born to” child when I am Asian and they are white caucasians. We look nothing alike and they raised me in rural areas where I was often the only non-white, non-Aboriginal looking person.

So as this year closes, I can celebrate that my year of 2022 has been a year of empowerment in so many ways. On November 2022, I was also recognised for my years of suffering by being offered the maximum compensation, counselling and a direct personal response under the Royal Commission for Institutional Sexual Abuse Redress Scheme by the two entities responsible for me – the Lutheran Church (the Victorian adoption agency) and the Department of Home Affairs (Australian Immigration). The past 5 years I’ve spent talking to countless lawyers, trying to find a way to hold institutions accountable for my placement with a family who should never have received any vulnerable child. Finally, in some small way, I am able to hold these institutions somewhat accountable and be granted a face to face meeting as a direct personal response via the Redress Scheme. What I want them to recognise is the significant responsibility they hold to keep children safe. It is still hard to fathom how any country can allow children in with parents who look nothing like them, clearly having no biological connections, no paperwork, yet not take all precautions to ensure these children are not being trafficked. I am yet to finish with that larger issue of being highly suspicious that my adoption was an illegal one, if not highly illicit. Our governments need to be on higher alert, looking out for all signs of trafficking in children and ensuring that these children are followed up on and that they have indeed been relinquished by their parents before being allowed into another country with people who are nothing alike.

My case in the Redress Scheme also highlights the many failings of the child protection system that is supposed to protect vulnerable children like me. If I’d been adopted by the family as they should have done, I would never have been allowed this compensation or acknowledgement through the Redress Scheme. It is a significant failing of the system that those who are deemed legally “adopted” are not considered to be under “institutional care” when these very institutions are the ones who place us and deem our adoptive families eligible to care for us. ICH wrote about this some years ago when I was frustrated that I hadn’t been able to participate in the Royal Commission for Institutional Sexual Abuse. Thankfully, a kind lawyer and fellow sufferer as a former foster child, Peter Kelso was the one who gave me free legal advice and indicated the way through the Royal Commission labyrinth. He helped me understand my true legal status as “not adopted” at the time of my sexual abuse and it is this truth that helped my case for redress via the free legal services of Knowmore. So it’s a bitter sweet outcome for me as I know of too many fellow adoptees who have suffered sexual abuse at the hands of their adoptive families. Most will never receive any sense of recognition for their suffering and the pathway to hold individuals criminally accountable is also tough if not impossible, depending on the country and laws. In most other countries except Australia, the statute of limitations prevents most victims of sexual abuse from seeking justice. I know from personal experience that it can take survivors 40 plus years to get to the stage of being strong enough to take this route of fighting for justice. More so for an adoptee who lives their life being expected to be “grateful” for adoption and being afraid of further abandonment and rejection should they speak their truth. For some, they never ever talk about their truth as the trauma is just too great and they are busy just surviving. I know of others where the abuse played a major role in their decision to suicide.

I am 2 years into the midst of criminal proceedings against my adoptive family. Next year begins the court contested hearings and who knows what the outcome of that will be nor how long it will go for. I talk about this only to encourage other victims to empower themselves, fight for that inner child who had no-one to protect them! For me, this is what it is all about. I spent years in therapy talking about how none of the adults in my life protected me and even after I exposed the abuse, none of those in professions where child protection is part of their training and industry standard, offered to help me report the perpetrators or take any action to hold them accountable. I finally realised the only one who would ever stand up for myself, was myself. Yes, it has meant I end the relationship with that family, but what type of relationship was it anyway? They were more interested in keeping things quiet and protecting themselves then protecting or creating a safe space for me. I eventually realised I could no longer continue to live the multiple lies both adoption and sexual abuse within that family required. Eventually, I had to chose to live my truth which ultimately meant holding them responsible for the life they’d chosen and created for themselves and me.

I hope one day to also hold institutions accountable for the illegal and illicit aspects of my adoption and once I’m done with that, then I’ll feel like I’ve truly liberated myself from adoption.

Until then, I continue to fight with the rest of my community for this last truth of mine. So many of us should never have been separated from our people, country, culture, language. We lose so much and there is absolutely no guarantee we get placed with families who love, nurture, and uphold us and our original identities. 

The legal concept of plenary adoption is truly an outdated mode of care for a vulnerable child and its premise and legal concept needs to be heavily scrutinised in an era of human and child’s rights awareness. I agree there will always be the need to care for vulnerable children, children who can’t be with their families, but it is time we walk into future learning from the harms of the past and making it better for the children in the future. My lifelong goal is always for this because adoptees are the ones who spend so many of our years having no voice, having no independent people checking up on us. Adopted children are so vulnerable! Too often the assumption is made that adoption is a great benefit for us and this oversight impedes a serious deep dive into the risks to our well being and safety. In my case and too many others, it isn’t until we are well into our 40s and onwards that we find our critical thinking voices and allow ourselves to say what we truly know without fear of rejection and abandonment. Plenary adoption needs to be outlawed and simple adoption should only be a temporary solution for a temporary problem. Any form of adoption should always be the choice of the adoptee to have their adoption undone and allowed to return to be legally connected to their original families, if that is what they want.

May we continue to bring awareness and much needed change to our world so that vulnerable children will be given a better chance in the future and to empower our community of adoptee survivors!

I wish for all in my community that 2023 will be a year of empowerment, truth and justice!

Ressourcen

Discharge / Annulment / Undoing your Adoption

In Australien, each State and Territory has its own process to discharge:
VIC, QLD, NSW, WA, SA
This process includes costs that vary between States. All Australian intercountry adoptees can seek the Bursary amount of $500 from our ICAFSS Small Grants and Bursaries to contribute to the costs of their discharge. Domestic adoptees might also access Small Grants and Bursaries via their local equivalent Relationships Australia program too.

Adoptee Rights Australia has extra info on Discharging your Adoption and what it means legally, plus a quick run down on the main points of difference between the States of Australia

Australian domestic adoptee, Katrina Kelly has a FB group Adoption Reversal for adoptees needing help with their adoption discharge

Australian domestic adoptee, Darryl Nelson has a book about annulling his adoption in QLD: A timeline of the injustice of adoption law. He also participated in an SBS Insight program with this article: How I rediscovered my birth family and annulled my adoption

Australian domestic adoptee, William Hammersley’s Last Wish: Give me back my true identity, says adopted man

Dänemark Auslandsadoptierte Netra Sommer: Meine Adoption stornieren

Dänemark Und Niederlande: 3 äthiopische Adoptionen annulliert – ein Weckruf

Vereinigtes Königreich FB-Gruppe des adoptierten Aktivisten Paul Rabz für Gruppe zur Annullierung von Adoptionen für Aktivisten von Adoptierten (Beachten Sie, dass es im Vereinigten Königreich rechtlich noch nicht möglich ist, Ihre Adoption als Adoptierter zu annullieren.)

USA

Adoptierte vereint: Prüfung des Rechts, Ihre eigene Adoption zu beenden (Webinar)

Kann man eine Adoption rückgängig machen? Rückgängigmachung einer Adoption: Adoptiertes Kind, das an die leiblichen Eltern zurückgegeben wird (In der Vergangenheit wurde die Gesetzgebung in Ländern zur Aufhebung / Rückgängigmachung einer Adoption aufgenommen, um Adoptiveltern das Recht zu geben, die Adoption rückgängig zu machen, wenn sie der Meinung waren, dass sie nicht funktioniert.)

HCCH – Haager Internationales Adoptionsübereinkommen : Informationen, die von Zentralen Behörden gesammelt wurden, um Länder zusammenzufassen, die die Annullierung und den Widerruf der Adoption zulassen

Vollständige und einfache Annahme

Das Adoptionsrecht sollte reformiert werden, um Kindern legale Verbindungen zu ihren beiden Familien zu geben – hier ist der Grund

Sexueller Missbrauch bei der Adoption

Lebenslange Auswirkungen von Missbrauch bei der Adoption (Chamila)

Das Erbe und die Auswirkungen von Missbrauch bei der Adoption (3-teilige Serie)

Gebrochen

Verkauft durch Adoption auf dem Zigeuner-Schwarzmarkt in Griechenland

Schneidet dich tief ein

Dankbarkeitserwartungen bei der Adoption

Selbstfürsorge und Heilung

Forschung: Sexueller Missbrauch von Kindern durch Betreuer

Unterstützung bei sexuellem Missbrauch

Professionelle Unterstützung: Relationships Australia – Beratung bei sexuellem Missbrauch von Kindern

Unterstützung durch Freunde: Me Too Survivor Healing

Klagen wegen sexuellen Missbrauchs

USA: Klagen wegen sexuellen Missbrauchs – Ihre rechtlichen Fragen beantwortet (Teile 1 – 3, Podcast)

Veröffentlicht am

Umgang mit Behinderungen und seltenen Erkrankungen als internationaler Adoptierter

Webinar, Perspektivpapier und Ressourcen

Am 23. November veranstaltete ICAV ein Webinar mit 6 unglaublichen Diskussionsteilnehmern, die ihre Erfahrungen als internationale Adoptierte mit Behinderungen und seltenen Erkrankungen austauschten.

Ich hoffe, dass Sie sich die Zeit nehmen, zuzuhören. Adoptierte mit Behinderungen und Erkrankungen sind in der internationalen Adoptiertengemeinschaft oft unsichtbar. Unser Ziel war es, sie zu fördern und das Bewusstsein für die zusätzlichen Komplexitäten zu schärfen, denen sie ausgesetzt sind.

Hinweis: Wenn Sie es in Chrome ansehen, klicken Sie auf die Schaltfläche „Mehr erfahren“, um das Video anzusehen

Webinar-Video-Timecode

Für diejenigen, die wenig Zeit haben, habe ich eine bereitgestellt Zeitcode damit Sie genau die Teile sehen können, die Sie hören möchten.

00:00:25 Willkommen – Lynelle Long

00:03:51 Anerkennung des Landes – Mallika Macleod

00:05:15 Diskussionsteilnehmer Einführung

00:05:31 Maddy Ullmann

00:07:07 Wes Liu

00:09:32 Farnad Darnell

00:11:08 Emma Pham

00:12:07 Daniel N. Price

00:13:19 Mallika Macleod

00:15:19 Die sich ändernde Definition von Behinderung – Farnad Darnell

00:17:58 Umformulierung, wie Adoptierte mit Behinderungen gesehen werden können – Mallika Macleod

00:20:39 Scham und Zerbrochenheit verarbeiten, die oft damit verbunden sind, adoptiert zu werden und mit einer Behinderung zu leben – Wes Liu

00:23:34 Umgang mit den Reaktionen und Erwartungen der Menschen – Maddy Ullman

00:28:44 Zugehörigkeitsgefühl und wie es beeinflusst wurde – Emma Pham

00:30:14 Navigieren im Gesundheitssystem – Daniel N Price

00:31:58 Was geholfen hat, das Leben mit Behinderung zu bewältigen – Mallika Macleod

00:35:58 Wie eine Behinderung das Wiedersehen noch komplizierter machen könnte – Maddy Ullman

00:39:44 Die Dynamik zwischen Adoptiveltern und dem, was ideal ist – Wes Liu

00:42:48 Selbstmordrisiko verhindern – Daniel N Price

00:44:26 Kinder, die wegen ihrer Behinderung per internationaler Adoption ins Ausland geschickt werden – Farnad Darnell

00:47:09 Was Menschen beachten müssen, wenn sie mit „guten Absichten“ ein Kind mit Behinderung adoptieren – Emma Pham

00:50:13 Wie sich die Erfahrung, sich isoliert zu fühlen, im Laufe der Zeit verändert hat – Wes Liu

00:53:25 Die Rolle der Genetik bei ihren Erkrankungen – Maddy Ullman

00:56:35 Was bei beruflichen Herausforderungen funktioniert hat – Mallika Macleod

00:59:11 Selbstständig und unabhängig werden – Emma Pham

01:02:42 Vorschläge für Adoptiveltern – Daniel N Price

01:03:48 Vorschläge für Adoptionsexperten zur besseren Vorbereitung von Adoptiveltern – Farnad Darnell

01:06:20 Wie Adoptivfamilien am besten diskutieren können, ob Behinderung der Grund für die Aufgabe war – Farnad Darnell

Zusammenfassung der wichtigsten Botschaften des Webinars

Klicken Hier für ein PDF-Dokument, das die wichtigsten Botschaften jedes Diskussionsteilnehmers und den passenden Zeitcode für das Webinar-Video enthält.

ICAV-Perspektivpapier

Für diejenigen, die tiefer eintauchen und dieses Thema weiter erforschen möchten, haben wir auch unsere neuesten zusammengestellt ICAV-Perspektivpapier die du lesen kannst Hier. Es ist eine Zusammenstellung gelebter Erfahrungsperspektiven, die einen seltenen Einblick in das Leben eines Dutzend internationaler Adoptierter bietet, die mit einer Behinderung und seltenen Erkrankungen leben. Zusammen füllen diese Ressourcen des Webinars und des Perspektivenpapiers eine große Wissenslücke über diese Untergruppe innerhalb der internationalen Gemeinschaft von Adoptierten. Ich hoffe, dass dies den Beginn weiterer Diskussionen und Foren anregt, die dazu beitragen sollen, das Bewusstsein zu schärfen und eine bessere Unterstützung für und innerhalb der Community zu schaffen.

Ich möchte besonders darauf aufmerksam machen, dass im Rahmen des ausführlichen Austauschs unseres Perspektivpapiers und des Webinars zahlreiche Beiträge geleistet wurden Erwähnungen des erhöhten Risikos von Suizid, Depression und Isolation. Wir müssen mehr tun, um unsere Mitadoptierten besser zu unterstützen, die am stärksten gefährdet sind, wenn sie mit Behinderungen und Krankheiten leben.

Fotografie mit freundlicher Genehmigung von Maddy Ullman und Wes Liu

Wenn Sie zusätzliche Ressourcen haben, die helfen können, auf dem aufzubauen, was wir begonnen haben, bitte Wenden Sie sich an ICAV oder fügen Sie Ihren Kommentar zu diesem Beitrag hinzu, damit ich diese Liste weiter unten erweitern kann.

Zusätzliche Ressourcen

Seltene Krankheit

#Rreis : Lernen Sie Daniel N Price kennen – ein Anwalt für seltene Krankheiten und ein internationaler Adoptierter

In Liebe August (Auslandsadoptierter August Rocha, ein behinderter Transmann mit einer seltenen Krankheit)

Diagnostische Odyssee mit August Roche (behinderter transnationaler Adoptierter mit seltener Krankheit)

Es war einmal ein Gen – Internationale Adoption seltener Krankheiten mit Josh und Monica Poynter (Podcast)

#Rreis: Noras ewiges Zuhause – ein Adoptivkind mit einer seltenen Krankheit

Der Podcast zu seltenen Erkrankungen

Selten im Common (Dokumentarfilm über Betroffene seltener Erkrankungen)

Seltene Krankheiten International

Enola : eine Anwendung von Medizinische Intelligenz Eins das hilft, seltene Krankheiten zu diagnostizieren, frei verfügbar

One Rare – Junge Erwachsene, die von einer seltenen Krankheit betroffen sind und ins Erwachsenenalter übergehen

Klinisches Forschungsnetzwerk für seltene Krankheiten

Globale Gene – Verbündete bei seltenen Krankheiten

Behinderung

Adoptierte mit Behinderungen (FB-Gruppe)

Internationale Adoptierte mit Behinderungen (FB-Gruppe)

Neurodivergenter Adoptierter (FB-Seite der international adoptierten Jodi Gibson Moore)

Wir alle haben die Macht – Marusha Rowe (Anwältin für Zerebralparese und internationale Adoptierte)

Gewalt, Missbrauch, Vernachlässigung und Ausbeutung von Adoptierten mit Behinderung : Vorlage der Australian Disability Royal Commission durch ICAV

Unsichtbarkeit(en) Sitzung Fünf (Video, geführt von der einheimischen Adoptierten Nicole Rademacher, die die Adoptivkünstler Anu Annam, Jessica Oler und Caleb Yee interviewt, um herauszufinden, wie ihre Kunst mit ihrer Behinderung zusammenhängt)

Eine Einführung zu Behinderungen: Zurückfordern, sich vorstellen, Veränderungen schaffen (Konferenzaufzeichnung, Nov. 2022)

Unfixiert – Austausch von Geschichten von Menschen, die mit chronischen Krankheiten und Behinderungen leben

Chronisch fähig – für Arbeitsuchende mit chronischen Krankheiten und Behinderungen

Transitions of Care – Kinderneurologie (Hilfe beim Übergang von der Kinder- zur Erwachsenenversorgung)

Die Caregiver-Reihe (Videos, für Adoptiveltern)

Sing mir eine Geschichte (Geschichten und Lieder für Kinder in Not)

Wasserscheide-DNA (Unterstützung und Anleitung, um denjenigen zu helfen, ihre DNA-Ergebnisse zu verstehen)

Easterseals Disability Film Challenge (Änderung der Art und Weise, wie die Welt Behinderung sieht und definiert)

Familienfitness: Behinderung, Adoption und Familie im modernen Amerika

Veröffentlicht am

Gedanken eines Adoptierten zur Gemeinsamen UN-Erklärung zu illegalen internationalen Adoptionen

Resilience by CLAIR

On 29 September 2022, the United Nations (UN) published a press release titled: Illegal intercountry adoptions must be prevented and eliminated: UN experts which provides a Joint Statement from the UN Committees. While the majority around the world could not have pre-empted this statement, it was not news to me because our coalition Voices Against Illegal Adoption (VAIA) had been talking with the UN to ensure our input was included. I know other experts in illegal intercountry adoption around the world gave input too.

The UN Joint Statement created for me a day of mixed feelings. For many of us, myself included, who are the victims of the past and current practices that constitute illegal and illicit practices in intercountry adoption, we have been speaking up, shouting from the rooftops, demanding attention, help, and support. But usually to no avail. Most Governments around the world have continued to turn a blind eye to the reality that some of our adoptions have been questionable and some, outright illegal with prosecutions of perpetrators. As one adoptive mother and fierce advocate, Desiree Smolin essentially said on her Facebook post, why has it taken the UN so long given the decades of trafficking and illicit practices? Why have so many families and adoptees been left to suffer the same impacts when it has been known to happen for so many decades?

So on 29 September, I felt our voices have been finally heard and validated – that someone in power was listening to us. Thank you to those at the UN who worked tirelessly to make this happen. It felt a little vindicating but at the same time, the reality of this world crushes hope because I know the statement from the UN is not going to put any true pressure on governments around the world to act in our best interest, let alone help us in any practical sense.

I felt personally so empowered by the UN Joint Statement that I wrote another letter to our leader here in Australia, the Prime Minister. In my letter, I ask the Australian government once again, to please do something to help those who are impacted instead of the deathly silence we’ve experienced in the 25 years I’ve spent advocating for our rights and needs.

Have a read of my lengthy letter which highlights the many times I’ve attempted to raise this issue to our Australian government, asking for supports for the victims. I’m as yet to have any response from the Australian Prime Minister. I imagine that the post-COVID economic recovery of the country, the current floods that have hit Australia all year long, and the other more higher priority issues like domestic family violence will receive his attention first compared to my long letter about a topic that impacts only some of the 20,000 of us intercountry adoptees. We just don’t rank up there in importance and unless it was their son or daughter being impacted, there’s just no reason why our Australian government would care enough to act.

I’ve been asked by a few about what I thought the impact would be of this UN Joint Statement. I truly think the best outcome might be that States (governments) will realise the risks they bear in continuing to conduct and facilitate intercountry adoption with all its pitfalls in safeguarding the human rights of intercountry adoptees. When we consider the legal cases being fought around the world by various intercountry adoptees and the revolution in awakening that we can fight for our rights, I would caution any government against participating in intercountry adoption. Legal pathways are slowly but surely being found by adoptees around the world. Governments must realise that if they continue on as they have in the past, there will be a time of reckoning where the abuses to our human rights will finally be recognised and the injustices need to be compensated.

In the Netherlands, the fight for adoptee rights is led by Brazilian adoptee Patrick Noordoven who won his right to compensation due to his illegal adoption to the Netherlands. Dilani Butink also won her court hearing for her case of an unlawful adoption from Sri Lanka. Bibi Hasenaar is also mentioned as having liability claims in this joint report. Sadly, both Noordoven and Butink’s cases are still being appealed by the Dutch State who have unlimited funds and time which highlights the power imbalance and ongoing victimisation that adoptees face. Sam van den Haak has also sent a letter to the Dutch State about her own and 20 other Sri Lankan adoptees whose adoption files have errors that caused emotional damage.

In Sweden, Carlos Andrés Queupán Huenchumil filed an appeal to change his name back to his original, having been illegally adopted from Chile. In France, a group of Malian adoptees are taking legal action against the adoption agency for its role in their illegal adoptions. In New Zealand, Maori adoptee Bev Reweti has mounted a class action against the State for being displaced and adopted out of their Maori whānau. In South Korea, Korean-Denmark intercountry adoptee and lawyer Peter Regal Möller and his organisation Dänisch-Koreanische Rechtegruppe have submitted just under 300 cases to the Korean Truth and Reconciliation Commission seeking to know the truth about their identities that were falsified in order to be intercountry adopted. Peter openly talks about the legal cases against agencies Holt and KSS that are coming in the future. I also know of other intercountry adoptees who haven’t had published media articles yet but who are progressing in the early stages of their legal cases against States and agencies for their illegal adoptions.

The momentum is growing around the world as adoptees become more aware of the human rights abuses they’ve lived that have been facilitated via intercountry adoption.

It’s not just adoptees who are taking legal action. Some incredibly courageous parents are, and have, also taken action. Recently in France, adoptive parents Véronique and Jean-Noël Piaser who adopted a baby from Sri Lanka have filed a complaint in 2021 for the fraud that involved the stealing of their baby from her mother in Sri Lanka. In the USA, adoptive parents Adam and Jessica Davis have been successful in assisting the US government to press charges against the adoption agency European Adoption Consultants (EAC) for its role in fraud and corruption of theirs and many other adoptions.

In a landmark first, both adoptive parents and biological parents of Guatemalan-Belgium adoptee Mariela SR Coline Fanon are taking civil action in Belgium as victims of human trafficking. The case is currently under judicial investigation. This is not the first time biological parents fight for their rights in intercountry adoption. In 2020, biological father from Guatemala, Gustavo Tobar Farjardo won at the Inter-American Court of Human Rights for his sons to be returned to him who had been adopted to separate families in America.

So ultimately, I believe the UN Joint Statement acts two-fold: firstly, it goes some way towards validating the traumas some live in our adoptions and encourages intercountry adoptees and families around the world to stand up and demand action and legal vindication of our truths; and secondly, it makes it clear to States the risks they undertake if they continue on in their current practices of intercountry adoption.

I would personally be glad and celebrate if adopting countries assess the risk of participating in intercountry adoption as too high to continue it into the future. We are long past the time of being blind to the colonial practices and harms of intercountry adoption. We must do more to help all countries become more aware of the responsibility they hold to their own born-to-children. Remember that some of our biggest sending countries in intercountry adoption are our richest – China, South Korea and the USA. It is time we moved past the easy solution intercountry adoption provides to countries who don’t wish to take care of their own and challenge countries to understand there is an inherent cost if they ignore their children by casting them aside, when it suits. Intercountry adoptees do grow up, we become well educated, we are empowered by Western mentality to demand our rights be respected and injustices no longer be ignored.

The UN Statement is long overdue given the decades of generations of us who are impacted by illegal and illicit adoptions. I celebrate that we have been heard at the highest level internationally, but I’m fairly certain that States will not step up to deal with this issue in any practical way. I know they will remain silent for as long as possible, hoping it blows over and meanwhile, as in the Netherlands, they will continue on in their trade of children but in a slightly different way, despite conducting a full investigation; because that’s what countries do. I’m a pragmatist and I will continue to raise awareness and push for much needed change, because I know despite the UN Joint Statement, we are still at the beginning. It will take a huge en-masse movement from impacted people to get governments to act in support of us because for too long, they’ve been able to get away with doing little to nothing. At some point, the cost for governments and participating entities of doing little, will outweigh the cost to stopping the practice.

I believe in its current form and as practiced under the 1993 Hague Convention, governments are unable to prevent and stop the illegal and illicit practices aka trafficking that include human rights abuses in intercountry adoption. Therefore it needs to be stopped. The UN Joint Statement is simply a reflection of where we are at today. Victims no longer need to plead to be heard, we HAVE been heard at the highest level internationally. What we are waiting on now, is for appropriate responses from governments and facilitating organisations — which might be a long time coming.

Ressourcen

Governments finally recognising illicit and illegal adoption practices

Lived experience suggestions for responses to illicit adoptions

Lived experience of illegal and illicit adoption (Webinar)

Stop intercountry adoption completely because abuses can never be ruled out

Unbearable how the minister deals with adoption victims

The case for moratoria on intercountry adoption

Child Laundering: How the intercountry adoption system legitimises and incentivises the practice of buying, kidnapping, and stealing children

False Narratives: illicit practices in Colombian transnational adoption

Irregularities in transnational adoptions and child appropriations: challenges for reparation practices

From Orphan Trains to Babylifts: colonial trafficking, empire building and social engineering

Double Subsidiarity Principle and the Right to Identity

Internationale Adoption und das Recht auf Identität

Ausbeutung von internationalen Adoptionen: Auf dem Weg zu einem gemeinsamen Verständnis und Handeln

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Agent Orange Awareness Month

I am a product of the Vietnam war in which America treated my birth country as a chemical laboratory with pesticide warfare. Many of my people suffer to this day from the lifelong impacts of the decision to spray thousands of hectares with the deadly chemical cocktail. 

I have witnessed a high proportion of my fellow Vietnamese adoptees suffering from cancers at relatively young ages, a proportion of our children born with disabilities, mine included. Whether we can categorically say it is caused by agent orange being sprayed, is unclear but we know it was an airborne contaminant that would have impacted our mothers with us while in utero and in environments we may have been exposed to as young children.

For the newer, younger generations of Vietnamese adoptees, they are born in a country that still suffers the effects of the contaminated land and waters from agent orange. How many of them suffer from generational impacts of agent orange?

One of the most confronting realities I experienced whilst visiting Vietnam’s orphanages was meeting with the children who live with serious deformities and disabilities, those who are not able to be looked after in family homes because their complex needs are too overwhelming.

Agent Orange awareness month reminds me of the power differentials that precede intercountry adoption. I see the American war veterans and their families can get free testing für die Exposition gegenüber Agent Orange und Anerkennung der Auswirkungen und Unterstützung für das, was Agent Orange auf sie hatte, dennoch wird zu wenig getan für die Menschen in Vietnam und andere wie uns, die Kollateralschäden .. Vietnamesische Adoptierte werden ins Ausland geschickt.

Vielleicht denken die Amerikaner und andere adoptierende Regierungen, dass es ausreichte, uns vor ihren eigenen Taten zu „retten“, unser Land auszulöschen und uns zu haben geflogen auf ihr Land, wo wir aufwachsen können, um die Kriegshandlungen und die Täter zu beschönigen, denn schließlich Wir sollten dankbar sein, adoptiert zu werden, oder??! 

Ressourcen

Operation Babylift: Die Perspektive eines Adoptierten

Operation Babylift: Massenentführung?

Fehlgeleitete Absichten: Operation Babylift und die Folgen humanitärer Maßnahmen

Die Kontroverse um die Operation Babylift während des Vietnamkrieges

Operation Babylift (1975)

UN-Erklärung zur illegalen internationalen Adoption

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