by Cam Lee Small, adopted from South Korea to the USA, therapist at TherapyRedeemed.
Not all children get to ask this question before they become adoptees. And not all expectant mothers get a chance to answer.
I know there are so many kinds of circumstances represented in our community, even as youโre reading this and as you contribute to this very special adoption community to which we belong.
This question came up for me as I wondered about my own mother recently, and was brought further to the surface as I watched some clips from The Karate Kid.
Adoptees experience a loss of choice and voice when it comes to such a decision, to parent the child or relinquish for adoptionโฆ and WAY TOO MANY adopters dismiss their childโs feelings about it. Too many.
Let. Children. Grieve.
Donโt tell adoptees theyโre making a big deal out of such a small thing. Ask why adoption agencies and power brokers within those institutions have made such a fortune by disrupting these sacred relationships.
Please let us grieve that. And allow us to wonder, โWhat if?โ Even if the answer is unresolvable, that someone is here to hear it with us, to acknowledge its weight.
Because we certainly werenโt meant to carry that alone. May our message to one another be, โYou donโt have to.โ
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